When life hands you lemons...

and you're not quite at the point where you can make lemonade because... ugh.

So, this whole Baby #2 has been contingent on B finally advancing at work. In my mind, it was. In B's mind, we were doing it this year no matter what. Well, here I am, 17 weeks along, and here B is, three months into his four month training, when... it looks like it's not going to work out. He's been having these monthly evaluations, and at the conclusion of his third month, he is informed by the training manager that they don't believe he will be ready in time. They recommend he go back to his previous role. But it's up to him; he can go through his 4th month, but if he does and hasn't gotten to the point they want him to be, he'll have to leave the company. If he goes back to his previous role now, he can "try this whole thing again next year".

I don't believe they are giving him this ultimatum. Obviously, I am not there, all day, every day, but I absolutely will not be convinced that they are making the right decision. That these people, making these decisions, are any more qualified than my smart, hardworking, dedicated husband. Because they're not. Why invest three months into a person without seeing it through? Giving him this option at the end of the training program, rather than now?

B's confidence is, understandably, shaken. Maybe I don't have the personality for this, he says. Being a bank manager isn't what I expected; it's a lot closer to being a manager in retail than being knowledgeable, he says. It's been really stressful, and I haven't been enjoying it, he says. And maybe I've been too self-involved to notice. Concentrating on my [physical] discomfort, focusing on how this training was affecting me, telling myself that it would improve by the end of next month. But would it? I'm not sure anymore. Though I 99% believe that if B chose to follow through with the training, he'd be a more than capable manager, it's just not a risk we can take with a second baby on the way. And I can't trust these people to realize that.

As far as the money goes, it will probably be fine. Potentially, he can make a lot more as a banker than he can as a branch manager. It's true. It's less consistent, but with the knowledge he's gained from this training, he says he knows that he would be an even better banker than he was before, that he knows how to maximize now. But still, it's incredibly disappointing. And sad. I feel so so sad for him. That he's been doing this rigorous program for three months, only to to be told that he's not the right fit. I can't imagine they're right, but what can you do? Argue with people that in the end, will be your bosses? That's not an option, either.

Return to Normalcy

Have I mentioned how much B's training sucks? Yes, I am sure I have, lest I miss a chance to complain on this blog of mine. Well. It has. I mean, I really shouldn't complain about all of the inconveniences that come with a promotion. It's not only the fact that I've really had to do almost anything necessary for either the household, the dogs, or Mia before 7pm, but we've really started noticing that without our mornings together, the time we spend as a family is lacking.

For the past several weeks, B has been out the door before I even get myself out of bed. Thankfully, he was assigned for a portion of his training at a location across town, and this portion has ended. Of course, there are no guarantees that new locations will be any closer, but we can hope they'll take our house location into consideration (please?). Whether Mia has become overly demanding, or my patience has disappeared (a bit of both, I'd say), it has not been easy to solo-parent in the mornings.

Anyway, it looks like we'll be getting at least a couple of weeks of not too far away work. So, that's good. Mia, whose internal clock has her waking up at 6:30 no matter what day of the week it is, or what her parent's schedule is, has been getting into my bed, handing me the remote and watching about an hour and a half of Disney Junior in the mornings, while I snooze and get myself ready for the day. She was not happy about me turning that Disney Junior off after 20 minutes, so that she could eat her breakfast and get out the door with her Papa, as she had always done before. But! I was absolutely thrilled to sit down and eat breakfast all together, and even more thankful to have 45 of peaceful showering without having to share my lipstick with a 3 year old.

This all coincides perfectly with my feeling so much better, which has been doing wonders for both my mood and my energy level.

The Exhaustion: 10 Weeks

While my Respite has been back (sssh, don't scare it off) for a couple of days, I thought I would finally get the energy to tackle some of the chores that I've been neglecting for the past... 5 weeks. Unfolded, but clean, laundry, unwiped dirty kitchen counter tops, uncleaned bathrooms, unvacuumed floors all sit taunting me as I ail on the couch. 

So far, at the end of every day around 4pm, my back, my abdomen and my upper thighs (read: butt) ache, cramp, and generally hurt. Putting my legs up and reclining my growing self on the couch seem to be the only relief. Our normal routine is totally thrown, both because I have no energy for anything, and because B is now leaving the house so ridiculously early to get across town for his training. Formerly, our mornings were somewhat leisurely. Of course, I never thought so at the time, but I could focus myself on getting Mia ready for daycare, while B got himself ready for work. Then, they'd both leave, at which point I had my breakfast and coffee, before getting myself ready to leave for work. I never realized how this 45 minutes alone really allowed me some time to relax, put some effort into my hair and make up, and give me energy to get through the day.

Now, B leaves before Mia and I are even awake, and once I do get up (sloooooowly), I am getting myself ready to the background noise of Disney Junior and any requests that Mia may have of me, which... are generally numerous. 

"Mama, I don't like these shorts. I only like pink shorts."

"Mama, are you taking a shower? Mama? Can you hear me? Are you all wet??"

and of course, the numerous: "Mama, I need to go potty!" Only to sit on the potty and do... nothing.

While I technically should have enough time to do my full routine, forget the superfluous stuff, because after a dozen interruptions, there just isn't time for it anymore.

B does most of the pick ups, because Mia has been asking for him in the mornings, and so that I can have a few minutes of rest before diving into the evening routine. But, instead of getting a head start on dinner, (or those pesky chores) I end up laying in bed, longing myself to take a 20 minute nap. I never actually manage to fall asleep, but at least I have 20 minutes of quiet time with my eyes closed before those chores can continue to taunt me. 

B has been almost (ALMOST) as exhausted as I am from his new schedule. He has to be up by 5 every morning in order to get himself out of the door by 6:15 to get across town. While he doesn't have any Mia duty, getting up that early and then dealing with his pregnant wife waking him up at 3am to tell him about her dreams can't be an easy task, either. (PS, this dream was a repeater - We are having a boy! And his name is going to be George!)

The days (and nights) on my own

B's got several trips to take over the next couple of months, and he'll probably be gone for a grand total of two non-continuous weeks. These days on my own weren't much, they weren't much of a challenge but, 4 days is certainly enough to give me a taste of what being on my own means.

It turns out, I miss my husband more than I thought I would. Really! Coming into this week, I thought I would miss B, but I thought I would miss him in the parenting sense. In the, please help me while I give this child a bath sort of way. Someone to remind me not to walk out the door without Mia's lunch (which definitely happened. Twice.) I also thought that once Mia was in bed, I would enjoy my quiet evenings on my own. To watch whatever I wanted (and Oh, I did), knit for as long as I wanted, eat whatever I wanted. Flaming hot Cheetos and Guacamole -- both things he doesn't like-- were consumed.

Doing all of that glorious alone time stuff wasn't quite that I pictured it to be. Instead of missing B's extra set of hands, I found myself missing his company more than anything else. While Mia was up, I wouldn't think about it much. I'd do what needed to be done, get both of us dressed and fed and lunches packed. Same thing once we got home after work. But once I settled myself down on the couch after bedtime, ready to enjoy my alone time, I just... didn't. I'm not a mushy, sentimental kind of person. I don't mind sleeping alone, I enjoy going out to eat on my own, shopping on my own.

My French uncle, in response to my Brother's explaining that he and his girlfriend were in a long-distance relationship, said: "That sounds perfect. This way, you're not being bothered all the time." Sometimes, I might tend to agree with him. But it turns out, I'm not as pragmatic as I thought I was.

I couldn't relax. I felt unsettled, unfufilled, unsteady. I'd watch my bad tv without guilt, but also without much pleasure. I went to bed early. I slept, woke up before the alarm, but just... didn't feel right. It's all very strange, this co-dependence thing. I've been without B before, pretty often, usually when I'm travelling without him for whatever reason. Never like this, where I was meant to continue our little life without him in it.

Our life? It's only fun when he's around.

Queue Wars

I remember reading somewhere, back when Netflix was DVD-only, that couples would break up over a re-ordered queue. Well, as one of the only remaining DVD subscribers out there, I still feel this pain. While it'll certainly take more than a DVD queue to break us up, I do think a penalty system should be implemented for changing the order of the DVD queue. And that penalty should be doubly imposed when the movie that does show up sucks. SUUUUUUUUCKS.

I have tried, for ages, to convince B that we no longer need to include the DVD option in our Netflix subscription. I mean, who has time to watch 2 full length movies anymore? B strongly opposes the downgrade of our subscription. With the streaming TV shows, movies and now with the addition of HBO Go, it is seriously unnecessary and I will continue to fight this $15/month battle.

As you can gather from my above paragraph, I no longer care for the DVD rental option. Hence, I completely neglect the queue. Very occasionally, I will log on and add a few movies here and there that I can't get on HBO or on streaming that I definitely want to watch. The most recent example, Austenland. I honestly can think of nothing else that I still have on the DVD queue, since my silly husband is continually messing with the queue's order, putting newer movies that he "really wants to see" at the top, and pushing those he "doesnt really want to see" further and further back. I am confident that whatever movies I add, they will be showing up in my mailbox when hell freezes over. Also? I won't notice, because... I won't care.

With Austenland however, I did care. I love Keri Russel, and I love all things Jane Austen. This was up  my alley. I added it, and waited, and waited. Last weekend, I asked B about it. Why haven't I gotten Austenland yet? I put it on the queue ages ago. I checked the red envelope on our entrance table: Riddick. Seriously? The 4th movie in a series of terrible movies? He defended himself: "You saw the first one and didn't hate it!" I sat on the couch, on a Saturday night, with my knitting project, and watched Riddick.

15 minutes in

Frenchie: This movie isn't very good.

B: Yeah, but it's only been like 15 minutes. Let's give it a chance.

45 minutes in

Frenchie: It's getting worse.

B: Yeah, but we're already 45 minutes in. Let's just watch the second half. I think the ending will redeem it.

End of the movie

Frenchie: That was awful. When is Austenland coming?

B: Hmm. You're right, that movie wasn't very good. Austenland? I don't know, let me check. [Clicks a his mouse a few times] Next week!

Great, I get to watch a 4th sequel to a movie I didn't hate, instead of watching a movie called Austenland. My penalty proposal: Everytime you rent one awful, terrible movie, you are banned from reordering the next 3 DVDs. I think that's fair.

He [re]reordered the quene to bring Austenland to the top, and we watched it. It was good! Not fantastic, but certainly better than Riddick. 

OMG, don't watch Riddick.

Bank Manager, JD

My husband, my dearest husband. He and I graduated law school at the same time. We took the Bar Exam, and passed it, at the same time. We got sworn in to the Illinois Bar at the same time.

But he, unlike me, couldn't be unemployed. I didn't find a job until 9 months after law school graduation. I had my parents, my parents condo to get me through. They gave me what I needed to get by. B couldn't wait for an entry-level lawyer position to open up. After spending a few months working retail, he got an opportunity to work for a Big Bank, as an entry level banker. The pay was decent, only slightly less than an entry-level associate at a small firm was paying at the time, and... it was a good job. A banker? That's pretty well-respected, and he felt that he could proudly take the title and go into work every day.

And so he did, working for a Big Company, without any flexibility, but with good benefits It's a great company to work for, really and he's been happy there. Occasionally, he still has his moments of inadequacy. Feeling like he's not doing as well as he should be, that he should try to get back into law. While the 2nd set of student loans is still (and will continue to) haunt us, how can we wish he had done things differently? Without him attending law school, we wouldn't be where we are, we wouldn't have our perfect little Mia.

But last week, B was offered a position as a Branch Manager, something he had decided he wanted to do about 2 years ago. He's been working towards it, sacrificing some of his commission to take on more behind the scenes work, going through several rounds of interviews. He's going to be great at it, and he's so excited! I am also so excited, and I am so, so proud of him. Things are looking good, and hopefully he can continue to grow throughout the next few years at Big Bank. Next time I stop in to make a deposit, I'll just let them know that I'm with the manager. Maybe they'll let me into the safe!

On finding one's marbles

Have you seen those memes floating around of pictures of toddlers crying hysterically, with captions explaining why they are crying? Like, "I'm crying because my Mom gave me my red sippy cup instead of my blue sippy cup"? Those moments are not lost on our household. This morning, Mia shrieked and cried like a madwoman because I took away her [empty] breakfast plate and put it in the sink, and then I had the nerve to put her red shoes on instead of her white shoes. Also, let me also note that this was after having to give my kid a bath, because despite being accident free while in her undies all day every day for at least the past month, she managed to take the biggest crap ever in her overnight diaper first thing this morning, and having a multiple-angle blow out. [This is probably a sign for me to stop the overnight diaper, but this is the stuff for another post, and also, for after France].

I am not proud of myself. But let me say that this morning's activities were indeed the straw that broke the bag of marbles and scattered them everywhere.

Once I put her shoes on, and she was ready to go out the door, I sat myself down on the couch with my cup of coffee and ignored the bejeezus out of her while intently watching the Today show's Olympic coverage.

I am a patient person. I really am! In the worst tantrum, or in her most defiant moments, I keep my cool. I politely ask her not to put stickers on the furniture, please. Stickers are only for the paper. If you would like to play with your legos, please put away your markers first. If you put away your markers, then we can play legos, Okay? We do well. She responds to this kind of direction, and this is how we do things.

But this morning, patience there was not. No patience for Mia, and certainly no patience for the husband.

The husband, who, the night before was keeping us both up by coughing up a storm. All weekend, and all this week, he's gotten the cold that both Mia and I got last week. I told him this was a tough one, just take the cold medicine around the clock, and you'll get better. For reasons I cannot comprehend or pretend to explain, he kept resisting. First, he didn't like that I had bought cough and gold syrup instead of pills, so he resisted. Then, who the hell knows why he didn't like the pills that I happened to have left in my purse. Basically, he didn't want to take what I had, and when he was still coughing near 1am, he asked me, the dozing-not-sick-anymore-wife what he could do. Well, why don't you take the medicine I offered you three hours ago? He got mad - "Don't play the I told you so game right now". OH, I AM PLAYING IT. And then - "Well fine, where is it?" In my purse, where I put it back after you turned it down. "Where exactly in your purse?" [translation: Can you just get it for me?]. NO. GET IT YOURSELF, I AM TRYING TO SLEEP.

Well, as you can imagine, 15 minutes later, the coughing stopped and we were both able to go back to sleep. Then, this morning, when I half-playfully asked: "How're you feeling this morning, Mr. Stubborn?", he had the nerve to tell me that he wasn't convinced that it was the cold medicine that made him stop coughing. Well, I assure you, I ignored the crap out of him this morning, too.

Now, if only I could apply the same tactic at work, which, as usual, is the reason my at-home patience is completely worn out.

One of those fall asleep on your face kind of moods

This weekend was not great. For not one particular reason, but just a combination of kind of crappy things that just kind of... made me have a minor meltdown / explosion.

Since we removed Mia's crib railing, she's stopped taking her habitual 2 hour midday nap. She still naps, but she won't be down for nearly long enough to make it count. It's probably that when the crib railing was up, she'd wake up a few times during those two hours, but doze back off to sleep when she got bored. Now, she'll wake up and get up out of bed on her own and play quietly in her room for a while. It's nice, for us, to still have that little break in the middle of the day, but the less than 45 minutes she's down means that by around 5 o'clock, she's in a near meltdown state. I'd like to think that I am normally pretty levelheaded and patient with her when she's like this. I'll let her have her tantrum, ignore it, and she'll come back to me once she's done, saying "Ma (I'm) okay now, Mama" and climb on my lap to recover. But this Saturday, I found that I actually had to remove myself from the room while she was inconsolable. I sent her to her timeout mat, and marched straight up to my bedroom and planted myself face down on the length of the bed, and stayed there until I actually fell asleep. I woke up 40 minutes later, completely stunned as to why I was face down on the bed, when I heard B trying to prevent Mia from coming in the room. She, was completely recovered and fine, of course. I recovered my patience enough to deal with Mia, but not with the rest of... LIFE like dogs who want their food, or husbands who want to watch football all day, or annoying status updates on facebook. You know, the normal stuff.

It couldn't have been that one thing, but it was more like that afternoon, that particular tantrum, was the straw. August and September have been bad for us, financially. The thing with B's job is that it's not exactly predictable. Yes, he has a base pay, but when his numbers aren't there for the month, neither is the commission check at the beginning of the following month. So, generally, we know about 30 days in advance when the check isn't going to be its usual size. On the same token, he can also have stellar numbers, and we know that in about 30 days time, we'll have a bit extra. July and August were the former, which unfortunately, means that August and September were going to be bad. We've known that for a while and have completely cut out any unnecessary spending. Bills paid, but nothing left beyond that. Which, of course, is not a bad place to be, relatively speaking. But, it still takes a toll. So I'm counting down until September is over (and have been since August 1st), and October rolls around. B's September was amazing, and we should be getting about three times his normal commission amount, which should balance out our deficiencies. The lists of not extravagant but not necessary things that I've put off buying is building in my head (cleansing conditioner, face cream, eye cream, dry shampoo, lipstick). Things also on my list, but that still have to wait: shoes, pants, glasses. Thankfully, my paychecks have been on time and full sized since I've been working 5 days a week, every week. Without those, I would probably have broken down ages and ages ago.

Oh, and have I left out the part that made me feel justified in taking some of this frustration out on my husband? Last weekend, I was getting ready to go out for a girls night (my one splurge - paid for by Etsy orders) and was in my bra and underwear, undoubtedly while I was bending over or doing something equally as unflattering, my husband sighs and says QUOTE: "You have such a Mom body now."

[pause to let that sink in]

In that moment, I kind of let it go. I was trying to get myself out the door and looking as nice as possible to meet up with a group of girls I didn't know (except one). I ended up having a great time, so the comment didn't come up again until this weekend. I don't even know in what context I brought it up, maybe when I pointed out a pair of shoes that I really wanted and B reminding me (again!) that his car needed new tires, so shoes would have to wait. Maybe I said something real mature like: "What? They don't look like Mom shoes enough to match my MOM BODY?!?" Either way, I was belatedly incensed about the comment. He tried to explain himself, to say that he didn't mean it as an insult. Honestly, as I'm writing it out, I can't even remember how he tried to spin it because of how ineffective that spinning was.

Oh, and have I mentioned the trouble I've been having with my application to the Nevada Bar? Apparently, there's still missing about a gagillion things of mine because the post office stopped working, or because it's just too difficult to make note of my married name versus my maiden name, and this morning I got an email that just mentions that I have a week to get this straightened out or I will be DISQUALIFIED for the November swearing in, provided I pass the exam.

So, add to all that Mia falling out of bed at about 4:30 this morning, and then tossing and turning in our bed until 5:30 this morning, when she went back into her own bed because even my 2 year old had enough sense to realize how little sleep she was getting by resting her head on my throat. And of course, at 5:45, there goes B's work out alarm, and I've been awake since 4:30 and now he's going to work out in our room because me and my mom-body don't need any stinking beauty rest!

Before B left for work, he's all... "Um, honey? I know you're struggling and all, but I just kind of need to know you're okay before I leave." I'll be fine, nothing a few weekdays in a row won't fix. Amirite?

Pillow Talk

My husband, who normally, is the person who keeps everything together, sighed heavily that he was stressed, just as we were turning out the lights. He hides his stress, and he usually hides it well. He handles our money, and our bank account was low and waiting desperately for my paycheck to clear (spoiler alert, it cleared and we are no longer low... until next time). Nearly 6 months ago, he was told that he would very soon be considered for this promotion, and just last week, he was finally given the go-ahead to officially apply. So he did, and now a week and a half later, he feels like he's back to the position he was 6 months ago... just waiting without much encouragement.

At times like this, the only way a couple can function is if the other party is the strong one - everyone gets their turn to reassure the other, everything will be just fine. But with the day I had yesterday, with one financial blow (at work) after the next, I wasn't feeling like the strong one. I had a day of planning out contingencies in case my Company shuts down: I'd get unemployment, we'd have to ask for forbearance on our loans, we'd keep my small car, we'd cancel daycare, etc. But, I did my best as the strong one. Reminding him that it had been less than 10 days since he put his application in, and they wouldn't have asked you to apply if they weren't considering you, there must be something bigger going on right now that they have to deal with, etc.

And then, I reminded him that none of it is real. If the society shut down (Walking Dead , or Lost style!), job promotions and credit ratings and car payments, all of that disappears because it just... isn't real. Remember what's important - moments like Mia running around our hallway in her diaper before her bath, taking turns roaring at us, and us taking turns pretending to be scared. The Giggles (capitalized, because they were GIGGLES) and Joy and Fun. As long as the three of us are together, under one roof, warm, healthy and together. That's what happiness is, and if we lost that, then you should be stressed.

As, as if on cue, Mia, in all her toddler glory, started crying from her bedroom and asking to come "In dair, bed", we let our sleep training guard down and plobbed her tiny warm body between us and went to sleep smelling her clean baby hair.

And then... of course at 3 am, when she yanked on my earring, deeply regretted our decision.

Happy just Being

Our little family of three is getting comfortable in our little life. We're getting settled into the new house. A couch is on its way and should be delivered next Saturday. My parents bought us a dining table as an early birthday/christmas/every gift they may want to give us in 2013, so that is also on its way. We've got paint samples on the walls, and we are waiting for the time to undertake that kind of project to present itself. We're ready to stay put for at least five years; we're not interested in buying ourselves and having my parents as landlords is basically the same thing anyway.

Mia's transition to the two year old room has gone smoothly, especially since they spent about 80% of the day outside with the rest of the school, so she still sees her younger friends regularly. She is piecing together sentences. "Cheese!" has turned into "I want cheese... Please?". Now that she's a couple of months away from two, it seems like we're inching our way out of babydom, which is both relieving and tragic. She needs less from us, on a basic level, but more at the same time. More mindfulness about what we say, how we say it, and act how we generally want her to act. Her decided move towards childhood has made me realize 100% that our family would benefit from an addition. I've always said that I wouldn't consider a second baby until my first was no longer one herself, and it seems that I'm quite true to my word. She's not quite out of the baby stage yet, so I'm not quite in the "trying" stage yet either. We'll save that one for 2014 and just... stay comfortable (and by that I mean nausea-free) until the end of 2013. Though obviously, there is a blog post brewing in my head with an endless list of reasons I worry about bringing a second child into the fold.

We're on the brink of other new things for 2013. I've got the Bar Exam coming up, but it hasn't interfered with our lives yet (aka I'm not stuck to an outline and note cards, but will be in 30 days or so). Professionally, my goal would be not to close out the year in my current position. I'm looking at all possible Las Vegas options - hopefully being licensed opens up the possibility of working in a law office, firm, or in the legal department somewhere, or even not in the legal department somewhere. Either way, turning in my bar application is a more proactive step then I've taken in the past (because, let's face it... complaining about it is not a proactive step). But for now, I'm doing what needs to be done at my current job. Work is steady without being demanding, and paychecks are coming though still delayed. B is supposed to be transitioning into a management training program. We haven't heard anything official, but all signs point to "soon", but either way, knowing that he is moving towards a management position is enough to make his work satisfying.

Doesn't everyone in Vegas celebrate with some Cosmic Bowling?

It seems like the first time in ages that I am willing to consider adding anything to our plates. Though Motherhood in itself came to me easily, shifting the rest of my life around it has not. A task as short-term as painting the walls would never have been on my list - my instinct would have been to envision Mia demanding to be picked up as I was covered in paint, and my second instinct would have been to picture Mia covered in said paint. The same is true for B - any challenges he may have had in the beginning of fatherhood have adjusted themselves. We're both parents, and we're both comfortable as parents. I no longer count down until bedtime - relaxing while Mia is awake is finally possible. I think this has more to do with my progress as a Mom than with Mia's progress.

Now, let's finish up with a birthday shout-out, shall we? Happy Birthday, Juliet!

Behind the scenes

Our life, save the financial trouble caused by late paychecks, has been pretty dandy for the past few months. New house, weight loss successes, good weekends are probably to thank for our overall decent moods. We are happy, we get along, we laugh. This morning, before leaving for work and for no apparent reason, B and I had a sometimes-screaming fight.

Bloggers (or Facebookers, Instragrammers, or Tweeters) don't usually document these moments in their lives. We get snippets, moments that people want to share with their friends and families. We are told that every couple fights. Fighting is normal! But you never really know, do you? Except for those rare and awkward moments when you get a small glimpse into someone's real domestic life when your sister in law snaps at her husband in front of you, there isn't the opportunity to find out what a "happy" couple's fights look like. So, in the interest of being candid, here is our latest.

B has the day off. He had to take Mia to the pediatrician for a follow up appointment to make sure the month-long strep/ear infection/scarlett fever had gone away completely. I had to get myself ready for work. This small break in our routine apparently set things in motion making both of us irrationally angry with one another. Having a kid makes a household of two working parents and a baby who attends daycare desperately in need of a routine, and this is something we rely on heavily to get us all out to our respective locations as necessary. This morning, my train of thought was that since he was off, he'd take over all the Mia duties. And his train of thought was that since he had to leave the house at roughly the same time, I would keep my routine exactly as normal to get Mia ready in time. The smallest lack of communication is almost always the culprit in our house.

Instead of simply saying, "Honey, are you good to get Mia ready before the Doctor?", or him "Honey, will you be able to get Mia ready for the Doctor?", we both just assume the other is okay with what is going on in the other person's head, and phrases like "Mia is almost 2. How do you not know what goes in her lunch?" or "Are you just sitting and watching the Today Show instead of getting ready for work?" get thrown around. Even worse, our morning at home ends with "I hope you do NOT enjoy your day off", and "You'll be really sorry if I get in a car accident".

Followed of course with some "I'm sorry, I overreacted." text messages about 20 minutes later.

Anniversaries?

I've got a topic/question/situation/issue that I'm looking for feedback on: What do you ladies and your husbands or significant others do for your anniversary each year?
I'm wondering if for most people anniversaries are not really huge deals. If in fact I'm the crazy one making more of a deal out of it, or WANTING to make more of a deal out of it, than I should, or rather if most people do truly quite a bit for their wedding anniversary and my husband needs a slap upside the head for being so casual.
I was going to spell out what I wanted to do this year, vs. my husband's desires, vs. what we plan to do as a compromise now. Instead, I'd like to hear from you ladies first as to what you typically do, and if those plans, gifts, etc., are your first choice or usually a compromise because you and your man's opinions differ (heck, maybe for some of you, HE'S the one who thinks bigger than you do). Then after some responses I'll fill you in on Romeo and my current situation.
FYI: It's the middle of the night, but technically Monday, and our anniversary is Wednesday, so the more dialogue the faster, the better, in case he does deserve the dog house and I deserve a change of plans in time. (Or perhaps vice versa, like I said, it is possible I'm the extreme one.) But no matter when you gals have time to respond, even after the "big" [?] day, I'd still appreciate it all for future reference.
Thanks!

Show me some appreciation. PLEASE!

I started to post the following on Facebook and it got way too long and personal. I must say it's late though and my eyes won't stop closing, so we'll see how long I can hold out. Anyway, it's pretty self explanatory, but if you find yourself with any questions, don't hesitate to leave a comment. Thanks! :)

"Have you ever had such a roller coaster day that ended in a plummet, not a fun uphill climb or wacky twist? And you went for support from a particular loved one but they just zoned out in their own little world? Usually its innocent enough, but I just can't take it tonight! So here's what I hope can happen to get me out of my funk:

Who in Vegas and Henderson loves sushi like I do? Join me! I am gonna waste away if I don't get a fix of 808 Sushi and it's owner Dean soon! Hopefully this weekend. Hoping for happy hour when it's cheaper. Any takers? Frenchie? B? DG? JG? (Or girls night out and boys play with the kids?) But sadly happy hour menu is just rolls and apps, and I know how you four love your Nigiri. (And I like some of it there too actually.) You could also to buy that at regular price or choose AYCE. And I mean I'm not opposed to going for regular AYCE time too. Someone just has to volunteer to call Romeo and convince him to take me out. Extol upon him my superb qualities. That I'm a wonderful wife and the best mother ever and I deserve a night out on the town, at least a night with friends and sushi. Still no luck? Let's all hang this weekend but call it a cheepo lazy ass weekend and not do much of anything but let the kids play and order cheap pizza and drink cocktails, wine, and beer, yes? No? If you can twist my hubby's arm, I can even volunteer the house for the gathering. Do you think you could try to convince my man of that? Whatever you do--penalty of death if you reveal to him that I put you up to this! But what are friends for? In my case I need them to convince my husband how f-ing great I am, all I do, and that I deserve a night of raw fish and friends. (Or at the very least board games, movies, and friends. Are we too old for a retro sleep-over? The kids could sleep in Tybalt's room!) Help me get this off the ground with him! Oh, and now that my ramble's over, really, any local LV or Henderson friends who like sushi are welcome to come and make new friends with us and enjoy good food!"

"I probably need to clarify. I love my husband more than life itself. And most times he is a saint. But sometimes he is a saint to everyone else around us and can get too busy and caught up to remember me. Today was a big scary doctor appointment for me. It ended up going better than anyone could have expected, and I thought when I told him he'd jump for joy. (This is a serious issue with my health that we have been battling together for a couple years.) Instead I got a half-ear listen as he had some action movie on the tv, volume raised to a ridiculous level for early evening.

I now expect some flack regarding venting my frustrations. (Possibly here, but a reminder this was originally a fb post and we have hundreds of mutual friends on there. I have edited the entry there but part is still up. So we shall see.. what kid of crap I have to defend on fb after this. :( ) And I could honestly see why one might berate me--He is the best guy ever--no argument there. So while I concede to take your and their comments warmly and will mull them over and not dismiss, please try to give me an equal chance and respect, keeping in mind that being his wife and son's mother is a different skill set and a whole new ride. When you live with someone 24/7 sometimes you just see things others don't. Some of those are awesome and you feel blessed that only you bear witness to the moments, and some are the nitty gritties that you just need to vent and release so that you can start fresh and anew, which of course is healthy. Romeo is a blessing from God to all in his life. I won't discount your fond stories. 99.9% of the time mine are fond as well, I just ask a favor that you don't attack me for feeling tired and vulnerable and having to admit that I wish there are some things he could work on. He is my everything, but sometimes I wish he'd realize that in these last 2 years we are not just a family of 2--Him and Ty, but rather a family of 3 that includes me. (And in that way, sometimes I have needs and desires that mean he better find a sitter so we can spend time fostering the relationship that is just us.)"

The Man Diets

Today is my friday! One of my best high school friends is coming to visit tomorrow through the weekend, and I spent the first two days of the week making sure I wouldn't have to come in Thursday morning as I initially thought I would. The good (and not so good) news is that I did manage to get everything checked off my to-do list. So, with the exception of my 15 remaining hours of CLE to be completed by the 30th, I'm free as a bird (so long as I'm within earshot of my the extremely fascinating gentleman speaking through my computer about the complexities of e-discovery).

Anyway, about three weeks ago, I started diligently logging my food intake using My Fitness Pal (thanks BeeBee!) Evidently, I had turned into a very annoying person, quickly searching my App for the calorie count of quite a few of the things B was putting in his mouth. "Did you just eat that whole bag of popcorn?? That's ---- calories!" I'm down three pounds, which is not a huge accomplishment, but at least shows that my goal of one pound per week is manageable, sustainable, and that so far, it's working. Bonus, it has also been effective at annoying my husband into downloading the app for himself and logging his own food intake!

So, based on B's height and weight and goal (the same as mine, 1 lb per week), he's allowed 2100 calories a day. That seems awfully high to me, seeing as I'm allowed 1400. But, my Fitness Pal is not wrong. Everytime I diet, I am always begging him to follow along. "It'll be so much easier for me to do this if you're doing it with me!". Well, not so when your husband sits down at the end of the day, checks his iPhone and sees that he's got x amount of calories left over after dinner. "OH, let me just eat some of these twizzlers left over from the movies on Saturday!" Great, enjoy those twizzlers while I sip my crystal light. Be careful what you ask for!

Father's Weekend Movie Marathon

A brief description of our father's day will give you a nice amount of insight into who my husband is (because you were all wondering). So, let's proceed:

B requested that we do the exact opposite of what we did on Mother's day, which was a jam packed day. So, yesterday, we had breakfast at our favorite breakfast place around the corner (exactly the same thing we did on Mother's day, failing so far), went to a use CD/DVD/Record store, where B combed the DVD aisles for hidden gems. I entertained Mia for the close to an hour we were there, by chasing her up and down the aisles, keeping her from touching the DVDs that she very much wanted to grab, and reading grown-up picture books to her (like the ones they sell at Urban Outfitters -- I didn't show her anything inappropriate, so hold your shocked horses). He came out of it smiling, with a few odd collection of used DVDs: Fever Pitch (Jimmy Fallon, Drew Barrymore), The Hangover (you know the one), and The Island (Ewan McGreggor, Scarlett Johansson). Here is what we can learn from those selections: He likes baseball, he likes to laugh, and he likes to watch ScarJo run around.

We came home and we all parked ourselves in the living room to have a B-requested movie marathon. That was absolutely fine with me, because I had two custom Frills bracelets to make. On the DVD player were: Recently purchased: The Island; Too Big to Fail (HBO docudrama about the collapse of Lehman Brothers and subsequent bank bailout); Total Recall (at this point I was kind of movie'd out and was not paying much attention, to B's chagrin. I was re-taking photos of my bracelets, since I realized a lot of the ones I had posted looked significantly less professional than the ones on other people's Etsy shops); and finally, The Hangover.

Appropriately, the Hangover was the last movie we watched, and I very much have a movie hangover today. B LOVES movies, and I am certain the day did not disappoint since, well... there were movies. Keep in mind, also, that Mia's daycare had a "parents night out", where they were open on Saturday night from 5-9, giving us enough time to grab a bite (B's choice: Falafel) and... you guessed it, a movie (B's choice: Prometheus).

If the Bachelorette wasn't on tonight, I'd say that the TV was staying off. But let's be honest, I can't even wait a day to see what drama happens this week!

Whatnot Wednesday #4

Yes, I know it's been a while, but Juliet is back.  I haven't blogged in quite a long time and that's for two reasons: 1) We just returned from our first ever official family vacation!  We traveled "home" (my home that is, not Romeo's since he's a Las Vegas/Southern Cali native) to the Chicago suburbs.  We also rented a car and went down to Decatur, IL where I went to college.  2) I've been really totally hella' depressed.  FIL is really getting to me, yes, but on top of that I just feel...all around bad.  And I haven't been up to sitting and writing.  But I figured a Whatnot Wednesday would be the perfect opportunity to at least say "Hello" again and write a couple short things, if only to get me back in the saddle.

Side note: I am promising you and myself to not put anything negative in my following "flushing" of thoughts.  You all don't deserve to hear rough stuff *every* time I blog, lol, I'm not negative every time, am I?  Hope not.  Plus, I just don't want to focus on FIL and stuff like that this time around.  I'd like to look at the bright side for at least the next 20 minutes.

• I got a new phone.  Actually, I've gotten two new phones in the last 3 weeks.  My cell went "kaputz" around New Year's, but Romeo and I refuse to re-sign with Sprint.  So we waited as long as we could, until I couldn't stand it anymore, and bought me a no-contract phone with Virgin Mobile.  We still have to pay Sprint until the end of May, but enough is enough.  Luckily our tax refund gave us enough to cover paying two bills for a couple of months.  Then when we cancel my Sprint May 29th (not like I'm counting down days or anything, lol), we can just pay my Virgin Mobile, and change Romeo's sprint bill to a plan with minimal minutes and minimal texts seeing he doesn't really do much.  He's got 1 more year then hopefully we can be rid of Sprint for good.  It's not that we have a problem with their service.  Their call reception is great and everything, but their prices are way too high for what we need/want.  But, anyway, the first model I bought was crappy, so we had to go back to the store last night and stay on Virgin but get a different model phone.  Fingers crossed that this one will do all I want it to do.  Hey, I'm just excited to be an official member of the 21st century with a smart phone!
• Tybalt starting doing the cutest thing ever on vacation!  It's probably not unheard of, but he's never done it before.  We were out to eat and because the wait took FOREVER he lost patience and was utterly "done" by the time we sat down.  All he wanted to do was sit in Romeo or my lap.  So Romeo took the first turn while I ate, and then I took him while Romeo ate.  Well, while I was holding him, I tried to feed him a piece of chicken tender.  He refused.  But a few seconds later, he picked it up, and raised it up to my mouth to feed me!  He wanted to feed me over and over again.  It was so cute!  I mean, A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!  Taking care of Mommy like that.  And he did it another time with Daddy a day or two later.
• No new news on the "Incident" aka shooting through my neighbors wall a couple weeks ago.  I have noticed that the apartment complex has patched and painted their wall.  And they re-coded the gates at the entrance and promptly shut them at 5:30pm everyday.
• My birthday was March 24.  It was fabulous!  Romeo's cousin was in town who is a good friend of mine now.  We went out to lunch with her as a family (Romeo, Me, Tybalt, and Cousin L.).  Then Tybalt went to MIL and FIL for an overnight while Romeo and I checked into a local hotel (they upgraded us to a huge suite!), went to a seafood buffet for dinner, and saw Penn and Teller's magic show at the Rio.  We actually went to their show on my first birthday together, so it was neat to do it again together 5 years later.
• Romeo's birthday is this Sunday, the 22nd.  I am taking him to a surprise dinner on Saturday night while Tybalt once again has a sleepover with MIL and FIL.  (I may not care for FIL, but I am grateful for how much they love Tybalt and are always willing and DESIRE to babysit him.)  One thing--is my husband the only one who never asks for anything fun or exciting for his birthday?  He wants an itunes card.  That's it.  And the years I've tried to be creative and get him something more fun, he doesn't use it or appreciate it.  Oh, he'll be nice and put on a happy face, but I've learned over the years.  So I've basically given up and just get him exactly what he wants, fun or not.  But man, it sure takes the excitement out of shopping.

Ah, what a refreshing feeling!  My brain has been cleaned out a bit!  Interested in participating in Whatnot Wednesdays yourself?  Follow the hyperlink button at the top of this entry to link to Elizabeth at "Every Day the Wonderful Happens" and find out more!

"Yeah Boooooyyy!"

I love Las Vegas. But what has come of my wonderful town when jumbo-sized-clock-necklaces-wearing-rapper Flavor Flav has opened up his own take out fried chicken restaurant?!?! And it's called, you guessed it-- Flavor Flav's House of Flavor. On top of that, what has my home life come to that my hubs, Romeo says he would definitely like to check it out!?!?

http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/VlnOGlkwsWaWqyzDxvMMMA?select=ynb0QoBJK17zuA56GtMEMA

On top of the ludicrous idea, I have heard the following: it is getting high praise on Yelp.com and supposedly because the chicken is great--not just the hype and celebrity worship, Flav really does work at the store and cook, two large intimidating men stand guard and only let about two customers in at a time and then the door is locked behind you, there are no set hours of operations (at least for this grand opening period), and they open when Flav reports to the restaurant, and close when they are either out, have a problem with cooking supplies or ingredients (like substandard fry oil one night), or just when they "are done."

His catch phrase is "Yeah Booooyyyyy!" Right?

I give this an "Oh Booooooyyyyy..."

Sound Check

Sitting at a sound check and finding myself with time on my hands.  No, sound checks are not my regular gig, but our friends Ron Ellington Shy and Taber Shy, who used to live and perform in Las Vegas (and now live in Southern Cali) wanted to come back and do a show here in town.  So, they know Romeo is not only a music aficionado but as a friend would do anything for them...so, here we are "producing" their show at a park district building on the east side of Vegas.

It means that since October we have been e-mailing, mailing, and calling their old friends and colleagues in town, drumming up support.  Getting chummy with the director at the park district building to work out the details of tonight's show.  Driving to and from Cali and other gigs here in the southwest to take pics of Ron and Taber, just to find that PERFECT one for the ads, fliers, and newspapers.  I've been creating and managing a facebook page for the group and specifically for tonight's concert.  For the last two weeks there's been lots of computer work to create the concert program, slips for audience members to fill out for a giveaway autographed headshot.  I even pulled out my scrapbooking supplies to make a large (and may I say really neat!) "Now Appearing" poster for the lobby.

The show is 7:00pm tonight.  And sound check started at 11:00am this morning.  I love these men.  They are dear friends that I met through Romeo.  He's actually "produced" shows for Ron before when they were both living in Southern California.  But that means I've also been to more gigs of theirs than I can count, and all these songs they are rehearsing right now and will play tonight?  Well, I've kind of got them memorized.  I do have to admit though, that hearing them professionally mic'd is a great experience.  Most times they are playing in blues clubs or casino lounges and none of the sound and tech is tailored to them.  I've heard them this way only a couple of times.

Oh, I forgot to mention, I guess "producing" also includes going to Costco for water bottles, deli meat, cheese, and rolls, and making the band a homemade sandwich tray for backstage.  LOL.  Makes me sort of wonder how Romeo used to produce as a single guy in Cali, seeing while he's been the "business" guy and worked with the contacts for 4 months now, I'm his "right-hand man" when it come to the technology, crafting, and of course sandwich making!  :)

Anyway, it's been an adventure.  But I don't know when we'll be doing it again.  I'm pooped!

Whatnot Wednesday #1

Well, it's here!  I'd like to make a big announcement: Whatnot Wednesdays are beginning here on "Mommy and the Sin City!"  This is an idea and trend that is the brain child of the author (we'll call her "E") of the blog "Every Day The Wonderful Happens" and Frenchie and I are excited to take part.  I encourage you to become familiar with this author's entertaining blog about life and motherhood.  I promise you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get sucked in!  Cross my heart, hope to die, never tell a single lie!  But for now, do me a favor, and at the very least follow the hyperlink I've included with her blog title, or click on the button above, and read some of her weekly "Whatnot Wednesday" entries.

The idea is exactly as she describes: it's "like a neti pot for your brain."  In fact, it is very much my PREFERRED style of writing.  (I don't do it often, because many times my OCD overtakes me and I proof-read EVERYTHING and thus what could be a 15 minute blog post session turns into an hour and a half--sadly, I'm not kidding.  It's often why I go days or weeks without writing-- because I over-analyze everything I write!  But with these Wednesday posts I'm going to try to let myself breathe.)  In Whatnot Wednesday posts not everything is in "perfect paragraph form."  Not every point transitions perfectly into the next.  Not everything has a backstory, or further explanation.  Why?  Because it's not about any of that.  Rather it's about writing what's been bubbling up to the top of your brain.  Letting your fingers graze the keys and see what is transposed by them.  Allowing yourself to just write/talk/get "it" out.

So, here goes, my very first Whatnot Wednesday!

• Tybalt is walking.  Finally.  Man, Romeo and I have been worried.  The pediatricians (his original and the new one we don't like and so are finding yet another new one to replace) have said he should be walking by 13 months.  Now at almost 17 months he is finally, albeit gingerly and tentatively, walking. He started taking a few steps on New Year's Day, stopped for a week or so, but is now crossing our small living room.  He doesn't walk in any other room or any one else's house, but hey, it's a start.
• I'm watching QVC's "In the Kitchen With David" as I type.  I would normally NEVER do that, because I prefer to solely focus on the writing.  See, I'm already allowing myself some wiggle room with this type of post!  Yay, me.
• Speaking of QVC--I'm an addict.  There, I said it.  Sometimes I order, sometimes I don't.  But I watch it.  Alot.  Frenchie has talked about some of her Guilty Pleasures?  Well, QVC is definitely one of mine.
• Romeo came home sick yesterday from work.  This worried/frightened me for two reasons.  1) Romeo is NEVER sick.  Literally.  Okay, occasionally a sniffly nose and tickly throat, but even then he never admits it.  I always just realize a couple days later that we are out of Kleenex in the house.  We actually tease he's the carrier monkey.  I have a weak immune system and get sick all the time.  If anyone is sick at his office I am bound to get it.  I don't know how it happens; I never have physical contact with the co-worker, and Romeo doesn't either really.  But I guess sharing an employee restroom or something must be enough, because he passes the germs on to me.  Yet he doesn't get it!  So for him to come home sick wakes me up and makes me worry about him.  It means he must REALLY be feeling near his death bed.  2) I have an irrational fear anytime he comes home early.  It started with my youth.  My dad lost his job a couple of times, and I remember once in particular.  He came home in the middle of the day, and my mom (I'm guessing from her experience when he was fired/laid off the time before that I'm not old enough to remember) FREAKED THE HELL OUT.  Seriously.  We lived in a condo, on the second floor, and had large living room windows that faced the street.  She heard a car door close, saw him, then opened our door and saw him walking up the stairs to our place.  Holy. Crap.  It was not a good day.  So anytime I hear Romeo's key turn in the front door lock midway through the day, my stomach drops.  Until I know he's there for an unexpected lunch, or forgot something-- anything innocent--I start to tremble and feel like I'm going to puke.  (In a weird fortunate way, he was the one puking though yesterday.)
• I said I was watching QVC while I typed and that I normally never would.  I have to admit about 45 minutes ago I did put it on mute.  Baby steps, baby steps.  And 45 minutes shows how long I've been typing, proof-reading, and re-typing.  But again, baby steps, right?  :)

Ah, what a refreshing feeling!  My brain has been cleaned out a bit!  Interested in participating in Whatnot Wednesdays yourself?  Follow the hyperlink button at the top of this entry to link to "Every Day The Wonderful Happens," and find out more!

Gender Roles

As you know I have a son. Tybalt is almost 15 months old. My mother and I were talking on the phone a couple of days ago about what he might like for Christmas. Of course at this age, the question is really what he could use, or what Romeo and I would like him to receive for Christmas, as he's still too young to have a wish list.

I was suggesting bath toys, but beyond that I was at a loss for more ideas. His birthday was just in August, so I feel like he has enough toys right now. (Plus, Romeo and I have already bought a handful and put them aside for Christmas.)

My mother wanted to know if Ty would like a new stuffed animal. When my sister and I were young, she had Gladys, a stuffed pig, and I had Bruno, a stuffed bear, that we did EVERYTHING with. I told her he has lots of stuffed animals already and has never really taken to any of them. He plays with one or two occasionally but isn't like so attached that he has to drag a particular one around, or sleep with it, or anything like that.

That's when my mother suggested a baby doll. I paused. She said, "You know your father had one." I know that, but my father was also raised by his mother and three older sisters, so to me it's no surprise that he probably wanted one. I had to make a split-second decision, was it okay for my son to play with a baby doll? My mom could hear the hesitation and stated, "Well maybe he would be more interested in it than another stuffed toy because it's a human, with a face, instead of a funny looking plush animal."

And in the next second that passed I honestly decided that yes, a baby doll would be a good gift for Tybalt for Christmas. But I asked for her to find one that isn't just stuffed, but rather one that coos and make noises, and is supposed to suck a pacifier, and go to sleep on command, etc.

My thoughts are thus: It may be "unusual" for a little boy to play with a baby doll, but does that mean he can't? Just because something is not the norm does that mean it has be impossible? Why can't my son model what Mommy does to his own "baby." Don't I want my son to learn from an early age that boys can be caretakers and love children too? He has a wonderful father who takes such good care of him--don't I want him to learn those traits? What's wrong with him feeding the baby it's bottle? Or rocking it to sleep? (Side note, it might also help him go to sleep when he sees "his" baby is going to sleep too, because Tybalt has been occasionally fighting me on nap time lately.)

I've brought the idea up to my husband and he seems reluctant, somewhat surprised, but not vehemently opposed. I'll take that. After all, I was reluctant and somewhat surprised at the suggestion at first myself. And I think if it works the way I believe in my head that it will, it will be another thing that he later admits I was right about, like so many wife/husband decisions! (LOL.)

My main problem comes right now with my MIL. Every Christmas my parents, who still live in Chicago, send the presents straight to her house and we spend Christmas there and open them then. I am TERRIFIED that when she sees a baby doll, all sorts of judgmental comments will bubble out of her mouth. She raised two boys in the 70's and 80's. No way would they have played with a baby doll and is she going to even begin to grasp the concept.

I'm starting to think I should ask my parents to ship the gifts to our place this year and try to find the baby doll before we take the rest of the gifts over to MIL's. Then Tybalt can open it and play with it only here, and she'll never see it. What she doesn't know won't hurt her.