Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Behind the scenes

Our life, save the financial trouble caused by late paychecks, has been pretty dandy for the past few months. New house, weight loss successes, good weekends are probably to thank for our overall decent moods. We are happy, we get along, we laugh. This morning, before leaving for work and for no apparent reason, B and I had a sometimes-screaming fight.

Bloggers (or Facebookers, Instragrammers, or Tweeters) don't usually document these moments in their lives. We get snippets, moments that people want to share with their friends and families. We are told that every couple fights. Fighting is normal! But you never really know, do you? Except for those rare and awkward moments when you get a small glimpse into someone's real domestic life when your sister in law snaps at her husband in front of you, there isn't the opportunity to find out what a "happy" couple's fights look like. So, in the interest of being candid, here is our latest.

B has the day off. He had to take Mia to the pediatrician for a follow up appointment to make sure the month-long strep/ear infection/scarlett fever had gone away completely. I had to get myself ready for work. This small break in our routine apparently set things in motion making both of us irrationally angry with one another. Having a kid makes a household of two working parents and a baby who attends daycare desperately in need of a routine, and this is something we rely on heavily to get us all out to our respective locations as necessary. This morning, my train of thought was that since he was off, he'd take over all the Mia duties. And his train of thought was that since he had to leave the house at roughly the same time, I would keep my routine exactly as normal to get Mia ready in time. The smallest lack of communication is almost always the culprit in our house.

Instead of simply saying, "Honey, are you good to get Mia ready before the Doctor?", or him "Honey, will you be able to get Mia ready for the Doctor?", we both just assume the other is okay with what is going on in the other person's head, and phrases like "Mia is almost 2. How do you not know what goes in her lunch?" or "Are you just sitting and watching the Today Show instead of getting ready for work?" get thrown around. Even worse, our morning at home ends with "I hope you do NOT enjoy your day off", and "You'll be really sorry if I get in a car accident".

Followed of course with some "I'm sorry, I overreacted." text messages about 20 minutes later.

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