Lucy's Birth Story

Since my office was closed on both Thanksgiving and Black Friday, I scheduled my maternity leave/vacation to technically start on the Monday following, December 1st. At the time I made my schedule, I thought there was absolutely no way I would make it to then without a baby, and while I wasn't completely off, I was pretty frustrated to find myself sitting in my office that wednesday morning, triple checking that everything I could wrap up was in fact, wrapped up.

That afternoon, I had my 39-week Doctor's appointment. I was fully prepared to get my membrane sweep, which my Doctor with Mia also did at my 39-week appointment, and I went into labor very very shortly after. B kept making jokes that he didn't want me to get it done that day because he wanted to be able to watch the Bears game on Thanksgiving. I told him very nicely to go screw himself, and secretly hoped for my labor to make plain my feelings on the NFL taking over way too many days of the week. But, as my Doctor walked in, she informed me that a membrane sweep was not recommended for someone who had tested positive for Group B Strep (which I did). I was basically enormously pregnant and enormously disappointed that I actually needed to wait for this baby to come out completely on her own. She did tell me though, that as soon as I was in any kind of labor, I should come in to the hospital to get my antibiotics started (because of the Group B Strep).

Thanksgiving came and went with absolutely no signs of labor, and I decided that I would no longer be relaxing. I bought one of those big pilates balls, bounced on it for hours a day, took long brisk walks, went shopping for our Christmas Tree, and decorations with my Mom (she insisted on an all-pink tree this year, to please her first grand daughter and celebrate the birth of her second). On Friday night, I contracted regularly and painfully for a few hours, but they weren't close enough together to be considered active labor. Plus, once I went to bed, they spaced out and let me fall asleep pretty soundly. The same thing happened Saturday, and Sunday night. By Monday, two days before my due date, I was exhausted and decided that if I contracted regularly again, we'd go into the hospital and at least see what they had to say about these contractions that were seriously getting on my nerves.

As predicted, it totally happened on Monday night as well, and B and I headed to L&D. I was fully convinced that as soon as I got strapped to the monitor, they would stop and I would be sent home. They did stop, but I was dilated to just shy of 4cms. My Doctor was on call that night, it was pretty slow, so he poked around down there a bit vigorously, told us to walk around the hospital for about an hour and see if my contractions could get regular enough to be considered active labor. Whatever he did down there definitely put me over the edge, and the contractions started coming strongly and closely while I walked. When I was rechecked, I was past the 4cm threshold for admittance, and I was put in a birthing suite and my antibiotics were started. An hour later, my antibiotics were in and my water was broken, which REALLY made things painful and quick.

I got my epidural after about 3 hours of post-water contractions. I didn't remember the epidural much from last time, but it was an incredibly unpleasant experience this time around. I do remember my first epidural completely numbing my bottom half and legs, so much that I couldn't hold myself up in my hospital bed. This time, I was told that I should continue to feel my legs, and that the only thing that would go somewhat numb would be my abdomen. I should continue to feel pressure, but no pain. 

It was actually kind of amazing. I could move my legs, not so much that I could walk, but I could shift in bed as I wanted to, lift my legs as needed, etc. I could feel that two hours later, my contractions were close enough together that I wanted very much to push through them, and alerted my nurse. Of course my labor would choose that specific moment to want to push, since it was shift-change time at the hospital and my Doctor (who had the overnight shift) had just left, so his partner (who I had met, but didn't particularly like) was now on call, but was in the middle of a scheduled c-section at a different hospital about 20 minutes away. 

Based on my history (with Mia) of a nurse delivery, quick pushing, and significant tearing, my Doctors wanted absolutely no pushing or pressure of any kind until he was in the room. I sat there, breathing through but not pushing through the strong (but not painful) contractions for AN HOUR AND A HALF before he came in the room at 9am.

He was as unfriendly as he was in the office, but he turned out to be really great at his job. He had me push once, during which I tore an inch (1st degree tear) along the line of my first tearing scar, and he immediately stopped me, gave me very specific leg positioning and pushing instructions, had me push three more times and by 9:05am, Lucy was born very gently into the world! I could feel everything but pain and felt very much in control of the whole situation. 

Within 2 hours of delivery, I was on my feet and going to the bathroom with a bit of help from my nurse, who was also awesome. Somehow, I got her all to myself and she was basically with me at all times which was really great. I felt like I got such better care at this hospital than I did for Mia's delivery across town. On that first day, I felt absolutely great, declined the stronger pain medication (until that night... when things were not AWFUL but pretty painful when sitting up). 

Lucy was wide awake for a few hours following her birth, she latched several times and was taking really REALLY strong and painful pulls almost immediately. Around 2pm, B left the hospital to pick Mia up, we did the initial introductions and Mia was absolutely thrilled and sweet. Lucy brought Mia a "big sister" gift, which was an Elsa doll (since Elsa is the big sister and all), and Mia was totally charmed and impressed. By the end of Mia's visit, we had Elsa glitter all over the hospital room, but it was worth it. 

We were discharged from the hospital the next day, and while we had a rough first night, we've settled into a pretty good sleeping and feeding groove, so things are going well. At Lucy's first visit to the pedia (and during our meeting with the lactation consultant in the hospital), we found that Lucy had a tongue tie that was snipped right then and there, with absolutely minimal bleeding and 100% improvement on the painful latch. Other than that, I've felt so happy and fulfilled and incredibly satisfied with my two girls. More on her first days soon!

Still no baby, folks!

While Baby #2 is not quite late yet, she sure is taking her time to make an appearance. I am however, officially on maternity leave, so at least I am not sitting at my desk staring at my computer wishing I wasn't there. Part of me feels pretty silly for taking these couple of days off, but in the grand scheme of things, I think these two days will be most appreciated now, rather than starting on a Wednesday or Thursday when I come back.

Thanksgiving was nice, but pretty low key. We were hesitant to commit to anything since, yeah, but of course in the end we were cautious for nothing. On Wednesday, I had my 39 week appointment, at which I had made no actual progress. I asked for a membrane sweep, but evidently this is not allowed when you have tested positive for Group B Strep. The first time around, I didn't test positive and didn't actually think much of it, but the membrane sweep is what put me into labor the first time, so I'm starting to get discouraged that my body doesn't know how to go into labor without one.

On Saturday night, I was absolutely convinced I was legitimately in labor. I had contractions between 4-5 minutes apart, some were very painful and some were not, but they eased up after an exhausting 5 hours. I've been contracting on and off since then, which is also exhausting, but they are neither regular nor painful enough to keep me from talking through them. 

So! That's the update, non-update. 

Meanwhile, I've taken my "extra time" off to spruce up the Etsy Shop for the Holidays, so take a look at my new listings and share them with anyone you think might be interested!

Still Here, Still Pregnant

My mantra, for the time being, is this:

Every day your baby stays inside makes post-birth life easier.

I'm on the verge of 38 weeks, so the "full term" milestone has basically been reached at this point.  But the closer to 40 weeks (or even 41 weeks) you get, the better of baby is and the easier everything will be afterwards. Their eating is more regular, their sleep is more regular... everything. I keep telling myself this, reminding me not to wish my baby out of me until she's ready.

My college roommate, and one of my best friends, was pregnant and due 2 days before me. She gave birth early this morning to a beautiful little girl. It's their first and I'm thrilled for them, but their baby is only 2 gestational days older than mine, so... really... at this point... I've got a newborn inside me and I think I've hit the threshold of misery.

She's sitting quite low in my pelvis, and pressing against some nerves in my back and spine that send a surge of pain through me every so often. Most times, it's right when I'm getting up out of my chair, allowing her to shift just so into my spine... making me topple over if I don't catch myself on the corner of my desk or on the doorjamb. It's unpleasant, but since I can predict it now, I don't think I'll actually do any falling.

Today was Las Vegas' first foray into temperatures below 60 degrees. A couple of months ago, I decided that I did not, in fact, need any additional maternity clothes for the "winter" portion of my pregnancy, since I would probably only be pregnant for 1 or 2 weeks of actual cold weather. Despite only needing "real" clothes for a maximum of 6 more days (since we'll have casual friday, and casual wednesday-before-thanksgiving), I definitely regretted that decision as I tried to squeeze into and button my only pair of maternity slacks. The kind that still has a fly, just a really low fly, with those nice elastics on the side? Well, let me tell you... those do not fit a 9-month belly. I mean, I'm wearing them. But tomorrow? I'll be wearing leggings and a tunic. Sorry "business casual", but you'll forgive me this transgression. Once on maternity leave, I fully plan on getting back in maternity clothes (I'm not delusional) but I am sure those low-panel type pants will work just fine postpartum.

37 weeks!

Here we are, closing in on full term status!! At 37 weeks tomorrow, I basically feel like we're in an "any day now" situation, and while I don't constantly have my mind on going into labor, I have been feeling the need to sort of "wrap things up" every evening before I shut down my work computer. I find myself not starting anything new towards the end of the day, just in case.

I don't think I would be feeling this way, except that we had our first trip to Labor and Delivery last Thursday. I was having what I thought might possibly have been "back labor" from the Dr. Google descriptions, and I had been having these very painful type cramps in my lower back for about... 5 hours at regular intervals. I called my Doctor's office, and of course, they said to just go into L&D to get checked. B and I dutifully headed over there, even though I was fairly certain this wasn't labor, just to get some peace of mind that nothing else was wrong. B ran around like today was THE DAY but I told him that if he brought the car seat and my hospital bag in with us, I would kill him. So he did not. And after about 1 hour on the monitor and a cervical check revealing a "posterior and closed cervix", it was determined that I was in fact not in labor, everything looked fine, and perhaps the baby was just pushing on some nerves back there. Yes, perhaps. I mean... it still freaking hurt, but after laying down in various positions trying to get her to shift, she finally did and the cramps stopped around 10pm.

The next day, I had a regular OB appointment, where I had actually progressed to about 1cm dilated and "nicely effaced", so B started freaking out all over again. I've been assured (by Dr. Google) that you can stay between 1-3 centimeters dilated for weeks, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I'd still very much like to not go into labor until my Mom gets here (on November 24th) but it sure would be nice not to be pregnant anymore...

By the numbers...

Before I get into it, let's just put this right here for posterity:

Mia, as Rapunzel, minus the blond wig that she did not want to wear, that incidentally made her look like a drag queen. 

16: The number of working days I have left before starting Maternity Leave 2.0

20: The number of days until my Mom gets here. And my personal "permission to go into labor" deadline. My belly has "dropped" significantly already. My go-to maternity pants are one of those "low panel" pants, that basically look like regular pants but with an elasto-waist no longer fit. I mean, they fit, but they are incredibly uncomfortable, so I've switched to basically wearing tunics and leggings every day. The recent drop in temperatures (Las Vegas finally got the memo that it was fall, and we've had 70 degree below days, with lows in the 50s in the mornings) has facilitated the switch away from those pants, so I guess this works too. And I refuse to buy another pair of maternity pants for a measly 29 more days. Part of me is still quite nervous about not holding out until those 20 days.

29: The number of days until my due date.

2: The number of items left on my shopping list. Want to know what those two things are? Super exciting: a thermometer (rectal) and breast milk storage bags. Neither of which are terribly essential, but it would be nice to at least have a working thermometer in the house by the time the baby is brought home from the hospital. We bought most of the other (boring) stuff this weekend, and even managed to score a free pack of diapers and a free Dr. Browns bottle from Babies R Us. Check your mail for coupons.

4: The number of Doctor's appointments I have left (and scheduled) for the remainder of the pregnancy. I have my first cervical check on Friday, and while it won't necessarily indicate much, if I go in and I'm 3 cm dilated... then I'll at least know to pack Mia's overnight bag in addition to mine.

36: The number of weeks pregnant I am, as of tomorrow. I had a terrible weekend of not-sleeping, and on Sunday night, I rearranged my pillow situation and managed to sleep uninterrupted for a good stretch. My belly is so low (and loose) that it hurts to lay down on my side without it being fully supported. So my belly has its own pillow now.

17: The number of visitors we have coming to Las Vegas for the Holidays this year. Arrivals are staggered throughout December, but  this is currently the official number. It is still subject to increase. My Mom and my Uncle have been furiously calling and sending emails for the past couple of days, but we managed to get most things finalized and I put together a nice long list of activities for them to do. It was a bit overkill, including links and ticket purchasing options, etc, but I'm glad I did it now while I still have the brain capacity (and patience) to put things down in list form. Goodness knows that I do NOT want to be bothering to look up how far away the Grand Canyon Skywalk is and how to purchase tickets while I am going on no sleep and breastfeeding.

6: The number of bedrooms the house they rented has. Thank goodness we were able to find something that will both accommodate them for sleep, but also has enough living space for everyone to gather together comfortably for those days. I'm really looking forward to it, but since Baby #2 will be a maximum of 4 weeks old at the time of their arrival, I am also pretty sure I am going to feel exhausted and frustrated at not always being able to participate in the fun activities. I remember feeling a similar sense of frustration when Mia was first born, when only my immediate family was visiting. I'm hoping that since I know what to expect, I'll be able to temper my frustrations a little and realize that I should enjoy the downtime with my little one(s) while I'm off work.

120: the number of earrings I have made for the Holidays. Check my Etsy Shop for new listings!

5: The number of skeins I have of a pretty pink yarn for Baby #2's blanket. While Mia's was done about a month after I found out we were in fact having a girl, I'm determined to have this one's done before I go into labor. Poor Baby #2 has gotten so few things of her own, this is the least I can do.

35 Weeks!

Today marks 35 weeks. In my (probably wrong) mind, this also means 4 weeks to go, since I went into labor at 39 weeks, 1 day with Mia. This also marks the gestational age at which my niece was born, and my self-imposed deadline for having everything ready.

We're basically there. Things are set up, clothes are clean. Bags are not packed, but we will do that this weekend. Also to do this weekend, buy a few replacement nipples for our newborn bottles (just in case), replace our broken thermometer (blame Roscoe for this one), and get some nursing supplies. And also, on Monday, I can order my breast pump covered by insurance!!

I've settled on some maternity leave and back to work plans. If things go well, without labor or birth complications, or after care complications, I'll take 6 weeks away from the office, with some unavoidable work from home time. I'm OK with this, and I really do wish I could fully take time off, but it's just not the nature of my job. The overall flexibility of my job comes from being the only person with those responsibilities in this office also means that I cannot completely absent myself for a long period of time. There are certain things that I and only I can do, so that's how it goes. Hopefully nothing too crazy happens during this time period, and I can stick with answering emails and only having to check in with the office once in a while.

At the end of the 6 week period, I'll be able to bring baby to work with  me for an undetermined amount of time. In my head, I'm aiming for 6 months (which is also my breastfeeding goal this time around). My mom will be with us for a few weeks still, so I'll be able to leave the baby with her during the day for as long as she's around. If you haven't been following along with me for very long, I actually did this with Mia until she was about 10 months old. I plan on having her fully registered with daycare for drop ins, if I have meetings or court scheduled.

I'm feeling huge (though only up 8 lbs as of last Friday) and pretty much done, but I keep telling myself that the closer to my due date she stays put, the easier things will be post-partum. 39 weeks this time around would be great -- though a huge part of me wants to start stuffing my face with spicy foods as soon as I hit week 37. But I won't. Especially because my Mom's arrival is scheduled for Nov 24 (38 weeks, 4 days) and I would like Mia not to have to sleep at someone else's house during our stay at the hospital.

The last time, I had an induction scheduled for the weekend before my due date. I'm not 100% sure why I went with that option with Mia, but as a first timer, I had very little idea what I was doing. This time, I do not plan to schedule an induction, especially since I know that I can go into labor on my own. I ended up going into labor 3 days before my planned induction, the night following my 39-week membrane sweep. No two pregnancies are the same and yadda yadda, but hopefully, that's what happens again this time.

Shopping and Pumpkin Patches

The weekend was one of those weekends where things that seemed important before waking up on Saturday morning just stopped being so. Even though no floors were cleaned and no loads of laundry were done (something I am sure I will regret come Tuesday morning), it was just a really lovely weekend of quiet and togetherness.

I have a (short) list of essential baby items to purchase, something I fully intended on taking care of this weekend, but completely ran out of steam by the time I got to our first of three stops of the day. So, I only came out of my Saturday of planned shopping with completely non-essential baby items. Both of which are so pretty, I don't even care.

Vera Bradley Paisley Meets Plaid Messenger Diaper Bag

Vera Bradley Tutti Frutti Baby Shoes

Las Vegas finally decided to stop being so darn warm over the weekend, and while we didn't need jackets or scarves, it was nice enough to open windows and doors, and just let the cool-ish breeze go through the house. The freshness of spring that you get in your house on the east coast when opening your windows after a long winter of being shut in is what we experience around here during the fall. While I remember this happening much sooner in previous years, waiting until the end of October for temperatures to dip below 85 seems a bit ridiculous. But nonetheless, it is here and it is wonderful.

We were able to get ourselves to the neighborhood pumpkin patch as a celebration of fall. And while we had no turning leaves in the background, we were able to be outside for over an hour without creating a single drop of sweat, which really is incredibly pleasant at 8 months pregnant. Really, really pleasant.

Sprinkles and Hospitals and In Laws

Our little baby sprinkle was this past weekend, and it was just perfectly appropriate. Not too many people, simple and useful gifts, funny games, and casual delicious food. Our friends hosted at their place, planned on having everyone out by 5. Mia was (unexpectedly) the only kid there, but she caused plenty of drama. Towards the end of the party, she was twirling around some balloons, with a cookie and too-small sandals on, tripped, perfectly slamming her face onto the corner of a non-baby friendly coffee table.

We have not a single decent picture of the three of us from the Sprinkle, so this will have to do!

She bled profusely, and we were scurried off to our first visit to the ER. Of course my first born would take the celebration of a second child to remind us all of her presence by causing such a ruckus. But honestly, she was so brave and answered all the doctors' and nurses' questions with such specificity, it really surprised me. Thankfully, she only needed a bit of skin glue and today has a bit of a bruised and swollen cheek.

At the ER

The next day

We also had a house guest over the weekend, my father in law, whom I haven't quite forgiven stayed with us from Thursday to Saturday. I knew that being 8+ months pregnant (34 weeks as of Wednesday!), my patience wasn't going to be great, so I kept out of the way. I went to work as usual on Friday, I did a craft fair all day Saturday, and B planned to take his dad out to watch the football games elsewhere on Sunday morning before our Sprinkle. We planned it well, and B's patience was worn a bit thinner than mine by Monday night. 

Mia is not a huge fan of his, and while I'm not sure the visit turned everything around for her, things did go better than I expected. He tends to yell and speak loudly in general, so she interprets it as meanness. There wasn't much of that this time around, thankfully, but I did notice that he has the tendency to correct her at every opportunity, rather than letting one of her parents do it (or choose not to do it, in certain cases), so she doesn't have the most positive association with him. 

A WEEK, and it's not even Friday yet.

It may only be wednesday, but we've already had plenty going on to cover the activity level of at least one week.

First, our master bathroom floor was starting to get wet beneath the tiles. Anytime anyone would sit on the toilet, the tiles underneath would wobble. We've sort of realized it for a while, and realized that we'd probably put it off for long enough. Sure enough, we got a contractor in and as soon as he pulled up a couple pieces of tile, it turned out that the toilet had been leaking into the floor every single time it was flushed, so our entire subfloor was soaked through. He diagnosed that this had been happening for years and years, and the only reason we didn't realize it sooner was thanks to a layer of vinyl that was keeping everything contained. Meanwhile, that nice layer of vinyl protected a huge mold culture, allowing it to thrive nicely in the dark for... ever.

Work started on Saturday, and, as seems to be the case in all construction, has not been going smoothly. Delays, materials, etc. Whatever, it sucks to have something out of order and to have someone you're depending on 100% with seemingly little control over the schedule. Our contractor did at least show up this morning (only an hour after he said he would) and has at least started to lay down the new tile. He promises to be done this afternoon, which... I'm not holding my breath, but it would be awfully nice since B's father is arriving tomorrow and I do not want to have everyone sharing the same bathroom.

This is all  happening at the same time as Mia's diagnosis with the daycare plague number 10934987, this time Hand Foot Mouth. It sounds disgusting (and every time I've told anyone that she has hand food mouth, they think I'm talking about Hoof and Mouth, which... are not the same thing), but so far she just has a fever on and off and some painful sores on the underside of her lip. It's probably pretty painful, but she doesn't seem to be complaining too much, and is enjoying her unlimited TV time. She's isn't welcome back at daycare until the sores are better -- which, is hopefully tomorrow, because B and I have already taken 2 days each, since she's been out since Friday.

To top it all off, I've got what could be considered the most embarrassing and unpleasant symptom of pregnancy ever. I will not say what it is -- though you can probably guess -- to maintain a semblance of dignity here. It is listed as "resolving after delivery" but I can assure you that things will not go well if it does not resolve itself before the 7 weeks I have left. 33 weeks today. No cute bump picture because... BLARG.

The Happiest of Fridays to you

My last post was such a first world problems kind of post, but I received my Samsung Galaxy S5 and am slowly adjusting to Android. It feels like it shouldn't be a big deal, but even for someone (like me) who doesn't play games or tweet or whatever on her phone, it's a revelation in how dependent I am on it. Calendars, contacts, photos, notes... it has been taking up my precious brain space all week long. At some moments, I'm so happy to have this big bright screen (it really is better than Apple's), and other moments, I think about how comically large this phone is and for some reason I can't get this camera to work as well as Apple's camera, even though the Samsung's is supposedly better (on paper). Either way, I'm giving it more time. If I can't get used to it soon, B and I will switch phones because he's entirely jealous of my Android, though I am not sure I get why quite yet.

In baby news, I finally located the missing bag of baby clothes and it turns out... we have a lot of clothing. A whole lot of 0-3 months and 3-6, which is what I was focusing on. So, that's good! Except that I had already hauled my expanding self to a consignment sale and purchased no fewer than 10 footie pajamas in both the 0-3 and 3-6 month range. I mean, at least I got them on consignment. I would have been pretty peeved with myself if I had bought them new and hung them up nicely in the closet as I did last weekend... We are now pretty well equipped in the clothing range and it looks like this little baby is going to be wearing footie pajamas all the live long day. There are still a few baby items that remain in the storage black whole that is either our garage, cupboard under the stairs, or walk in closet (the baby swing and the infant padding for the car seat) but someday soon, B will have to start taking my requests nagging seriously enough to get himself in there. Goodness knows I can't do it myself.

Friends of ours are hosting a "Baby Sprinkle" for us, and in light of having found my stash of baby girl clothes, I am feeling quite guilty about it. I think it will be really fun to have a little get together of our friends here in Vegas, but I am feeling bad about the occasion begging for presents. I've put together a registry specifically to show that there is very little we need (replacement bottle parts, some nursing accessories, diapers, lotions...) but I'm afraid it's still a bit tacky. I did ask our hosts to write that presents weren't necessary on the invitation, and I think that might be the best I can do to temper the tackiness short of cancelling the whole party (which I have no intention of doing, because it's going to be fun!).

I hope everyone has a few fun plans this weekend! Happy Friday!

28 Weeks and Breathing

The motion hearing I had been dreading and dreading for the past few weeks has come and gone. Everything went well, despite being incredibly long and touch and go. I was present, though not arguing, and could barely get a read on how the judge was going to rule until the very last minute, when he finally ruled in our favor. Even our outside counsel, who was arguing the case, was totally freaked out going into it since we found out at the very last second that our regular judge was on vacation and the motion would be decided by a visiting judge.

Anyway, all turned out well and I feel like I can finally breathe. Also, it totally explains my super crummy mood over the weekend, and the state of my cuticles at this very moment. 

But! Now I can concentrate on being 28 weeks pregnant, in the third trimester by all pregnancy guide standards, and (most importantly) on figuring out where those damn footie pajamas went!

Entering the final trimester, I am feeling quite large, though I'm still doing very well with keeping any weight gain under control. As of my last Doctor's visit, I've gained 6 pounds, but I am definitely already waddling. This explains how I was able to wear my suit jacket to court this morning, though only the top button could be done. I'm just relieved to know that my pregnancy hasn't moved to my torso, like it did last time. My pants were black maternity pants, but I still managed to look pulled together enough that our outside counsel said "So, you're pregnant then?" when I mentioned that I refused to buy a maternity suit despite my inability to button my jacket. This is both flattering (Oh, you couldn't tell? Why thank you) and confusing (Wait, I obviously have a large protrusion in my belly area -- did you just think I was enormously fat?). 

I'm now seeing my doctor every two weeks, which feels a bit premature at this point, but will hopefully help break the remaining 12 weeks up into some nice manageable chunks. I guess this is the point at which we start worrying about blood pressure increases and contractions and kick counts, so it'll be nice to check in with someone every two weeks without having to worry about calling in for every little thing I might have questions about. 

I continue to feel lots of movement, and those movements are now completely visible from the outside. I'll be laying down before sleep, and will watch my bump shift completely from one side to the other. I remember this happening with Mia, but I don't quite remember her being being this active. 

On a super mushy note, I'm starting to get really excited about meeting this person that I've felt inside me for the past several months. With Mia, there was so much anticipation, but so much mystery. Of course, this time around, there is still plenty of mystery (how will we handle having two children? how will Mia react to having a baby in the house? will I be able to breastfeed for longer?) but the basic aspects of having a newborn are not unknown to us. How to swaddle, how to burp, how to breastfeed, how to change diapers, how will we handle the lack of sleep (poorly), we know all of that. What we do not know, is who this person is. And finding that out is what I am most excited about, this time around. 

Also? So many things I've read, and so many people, talk about how the second pregnancy just flies by. They say that you're so busy concentrating on the child you do have, and juggling all of your responsibilities, you'll barely have time to think about being pregnant. Well, I call complete and total bullshit on that. This pregnancy has gone by quite slowly for me. We found out I was pregnant the day I got back from France, and honestly, that feels like years ago. So, NO. I have not for one second forgotten that I was pregnant, and I feel like I've been pregnant FOREVER.

Complain-y Moments

I have pregnancy brain to the millionth degree. But at least I'm aware of it. I had two small things to do -- each would take about 10 minutes. I have to start BOTH at the same time to make sure I don't do one and forget about the other. 20 minutes later, both things are done but my brain is exhausted.

I have done everything I can leading up to a motion hearing we have scheduled for Wednesday. I'm not arguing it, of course, outside counsel is, but I've done everything humanly possible for things to go in our favor. I hope. I keep telling myself that I am not my job. This weekend, I'd work myself up over the motion, but Mia's hugs would keep me grounded. This morning, with Mia's scent and arms at daycare, I'm trying to focus on this baby's kicks to keep me stable. It works, until I forget to pay attention!

I'm anxious (see above) and can't compartmentalize. This is usually my strength, and how I think I manage to keep myself happy. I find myself getting furious at my boss when I overhear him speaking to his family and responding that things are "great" when asked how he's doing, and that he's "just working hard over here" when asked what he's up to. You are not fine! Don't be so cheerful!

I have a co-worker who was hired in a pretty large role while I was out studying for and taking the bar exam last year. Usually, I'm somewhat involved in the hiring process, but obviously, I was out when she started. I would never, ever, have been enthusiastic about this hire. She is unable to compose a coherent sentence in written form. COMPLETELY unable. She has written 5 word interoffice memos, and two of the 5 words are misused or misplaced. So every time she needs something "written", she comes to me. She speaks, and I write it down. I cannot, CANNOT understand how a person can get through life like this. I also cannot understand how someone like this could ever make it through any form of hiring process. I've brought it up, of course, and have been asked to please help her if I have time.

The weekend ended with me sitting on the couch, declaring that I had not had any fun all weekend. I was whiny about all the football that had been on my television, despite there really not being anything else that I wanted to watch. I spend the weekend doing about 12 loads of laundry for myself, my child, and my unborn child. Then I folded and put away all of that laundry. And organized the girl(s)' closet and room. It was incredibly productive, actually. But not at all fun. I honestly didn't leave the house once.

There is a box of under 6 month old infant clothing hidden away in my house. I've found many many onesies and burp cloths and swaddling blankets but I'm missing a bunch of footie sleepers I absolutely know we had. I've looked everywhere I can think to look, and of course, my husband has been to preoccupied with his fantasy football team to care to assist me in my search. Where oh where are those adorable little clothes hiding??

Friday Tidbits

• Yesterday was a Doctor filled day. 24 week visit for me! While I have a couple of weird and unpleasant things going on, they are (as usual) "normal" for pregnancy and there's basically nothing that can be done to fix it except give birth. So, my numb fingers and heart palpitations will remain in place until Thanksgiving. 
• I took Mia to the pediatrician later that afternoon after daycare told us that she had been going to the bathroom a lot more frequently than usual. My instinct was to chalk it up to drinking a lot of water/wanting attention, but after going through quite the adventure of getting her to pee in a cup, she's got a bladder infection! It doesn't actually seem to be bothering her much, with the exception of the increased bathroom use, so I'm not terribly worried about it and antibiotics should do the trick!
• This in-utero child is so much more violent than my first fetus. I don't know if it has something to do with being more aware of movement this time around, having a "looser" uterus, or what, but this child frequently kicks or headbutts me in the cervix and it is not pleasant. Without fail, after every meal, I have to lean back in my chair and give her room to trash about.
• I've been having some trouble with some anxiety. I'm about 99% sure that it's related to pregnancy hormones, but I take everything stressful so personally and have found myself getting physically worked up about it. It started a couple of weeks ago and has been going strong this week. Luckily, I was able to get some resolution to the stressful issue at work, but I'm getting the feeling that it won't be isolated to that single event. In my head, I can realize that I am overreacting, but I can't seem to tell my heart to relax.
• We decided at the very last minute to do a quick night out of town. We'll be spending one day and night at Big Bear Lake, in California. I'm looking forward to breathing some fresh air and enjoying the sounds of the lake.

23 weeks!

I am feeling generally well, increasingly huge, and physically tired, with bursts of energy. At work, I'll be productive for an hour or two, and then need to sit down and fight the urge to close my eyes. Pregnancy brain is in full force, and my desk is scattered with tiny scraps of paper that I'm sure meant something at the time of writing but mean absolutely nothing to me as I try to sort through them.

No picture this week, my iPhone is acting up again. [For anyone keeping track, this weekend will make my 4th trip to the Apple store in the 2 months I've upgraded.]

One of my friends here in Las Vegas went unexpectedly into labor at 36 weeks, and delivered a healthy (but tiny) baby boy on Tuesday. The second thought that ran through my head (other than being really happy for them -- they'd been trying to get pregnant for about 3 years and are going to be the most enthusiastic and loving parents) was that while I am (hopefully) still far away from delivering, I am going to start sorting through the little baby clothes I have in storage. Not so much to actually be ready but to figure out how much stuff can be reused and how much stuff we'll need to add to the inventory. I have in my head that I'll deliver around Thanksgiving, but you really can never know these things in advance.

I inserted all of my week numbers into my work calendar to help me plan things out -- it's starting to freak me out that every time I insert a deadline or court date, I can picture how big I will be, or how much time I will have left to make sure everything is in order. My friend going into early labor also has me freaking out about contingency plans for Mia's overnight care if I went into labor before my Mom made it back to the country. Her plan is to get to Las Vegas around the 20th or 21st of November, which puts me at 38 weeks and 2 days. I went into labor with Mia at 39 weeks, 1 day and delivered at 39 weeks, 2 days. In my mind, that's cutting it awfully close. Am I wrong? [Tell me I'm wrong.]

The name game

We picked a name for this little squirmy bundle that I am carrying. It's not a secret, we've been sharing it. My feeling is basically that if we've decided, there's no reason not to. If you haven't decided, and you share the names you're thinking about, then you're opening yourself up to feedback. You're basically telling people they are welcome to help you decide. We've decided to name our daughter Lucy. A simple, pretty, straightforward, unfussy name that I've liked for a long time, and absolutely loved paired with Mia. Mia & Lucy. The name itself, however, is not the point of my story.

The thing is, when you share the name you've picked, you aren't looking for feedback. You just aren't. If you really want to avoid all feedback, then you keep the name to yourself until your child is born and named. But that's just isn't how we are! Sharing the name is fun, and I've come to expect that the people I am sharing this piece of information with know the rules. If you aren't pregnant, and are talking hypothetically about baby names, then opine away. That is the time to share whether you like someone's choice. If someone is pregnant, and they're telling you about what names they like, your role is simple: if you like the name, enthuse away. If you don't, pretend you do. The rule doesn't change, no matter who the expecting parents are, no matter what your relationship is to them. You do not have a role in naming their child.

Of course, you can guess from the above that someone strayed from that rule. None other than my Father in Law, B's Dad. Of course, someone whose behavior can bring me quickly (very quickly) to anger. B isn't great at keeping in touch with his family. He speaks to his father monthly, at most. It's not that they aren't close, I think they are, but keeping in touch doesn't occur to them. B and his Dad had their monthly catch up yesterday, and B shared the name we had decided on.

FIL's reaction: "Nah, I don't like it." Very casual, very matter of fact. B's response: "Uh, OK. Well, that's what we decided, so that's what she'll be named..." FIL's response: "[Wife] doesn't like it, either." ... I am, sitting on the couch, just outside of FaceTime range SEETHING. Shaking my head, making SEETHING eyes at B, who is also, visibly upset. FIL tries to change the subject, ask what else is up. B informs him that it's time to make dinner (despite it being 4pm...), and they hang up.

WTF

21 Weeks!

18 Weeks

21 Weeks!

I haven't done an official pregnancy update in a while, so here goes this one. 21 weeks as of today, and generally feeling quite well. The nausea is no longer a symptom, thankfully, but the pregnancy allergies/constant nasal congestion has started. I'll take it over nausea anyday. My Doctor totally approved Zyrtek, so that has been helping greatly. The anatomy scan ultrasound revealed another girl, yes, but it also revealed a healthy baby, measuring on target, a closed cervix and a well-placed placenta. So, everything is looking great and while there are some pregnancy annoyances, I don't want to sound ungrateful or complain-y. This time around, going into the ultrasound, I was significantly more anxious about finding out that the baby was healthy then I was about actually finding out the sex. With Mia, I had a healthy pregnancy with little to no complications, and now we have a healthy, active daughter without any issues. Part of me feels like it is too much to ask  to do it all second time without something going wrong. 

I did injure my back doing absolutely nothing a couple of weeks ago, and had a couple of physical therapy sessions. Those helped, and my back feels totally fine now. It feels like my uterus is shifting up higher into my torso, and I'm starting to get out of breath doing the most benign things. Yes, things like going up the stairs will wind me, but also, I'll find myself breathing heavily after drinking water, shaving my legs (which-- any excuse not to do it, amirite?) and it's comical, but also pretty annoying. I think the shortness of breath thing has been causing some increased tiredness, too. I'll wake up still feeling sleepy, and every morning I have to convince myself to get ready and go to work. Every day this week, I've been tempted to take a sick day, but realize that I should probably save those for when I'm actually sick since I've got another 4 months to go here.

In more fun news, we picked a name! I'm hesitant to put it down on paper (public, web-based paper), but we've been using it without keeping it a secret. We went over a few names out loud while Mia was in the room, had her repeat some of them to see how they sounded out of her, and decided pretty quickly. A couple of days later, I asked Mia what we should call her little sister, she remembered the name we liked best, and it was done. 

This week/month, I think we're going to stop talking about getting a bigger car and actually do it. I'm getting so so so so tired of having discussion after discussion (B initiated, of course. He likes to go over specifics ad nauseam) over which car would suit our needs best, I just want to do it so that Autotrader.com can stop being a permanent tab on my browser. 

Normalcy

My parents were here for just over three weeks. While it was a really nice visit, it really seemed like a long time. We made all sorts of tentative plans while they were still in China, but everything seemed to crumble as they got here. My brother, who lives in Chicago, couldn't get any confirmation on his time-off schedule, my Dad ended up having to have a couple of medical tests that had to be spaced out throughout their trip. B's work schedule was all thrown off with the changes he went through, too. So, in the end, it seems like we just hung out at the house for 3 weeks, with a couple of fun activities thrown in.

While we didn't actually do anything out of the ordinary, having both of your parents living in your house for several weeks will throw a wrench in your daily routine. They drove me to work nearly every morning and picked me up from work every afternoon, so they could have use of the car during the day. Not having a car at your disposal during the day doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, because 80% of the time, I stay at my office. But not having the option of driving off on my own whenever necessary was awfully disconcerting! First world problems and all, but it was really nice to drive myself to work, park my car in the parking lot, and know that I can drive to outside counsel's office today [not that I'll need to...].

Overall, it was a really nice visit. Lots of downtime, nothing was rushed, and I think my Dad really had himself a nice vacation from his pretty demanding job [and my Mom had a nice vacation from living in China, with multiple trips to Target and the Outlets thrown in for good measure]. Judging from his vacation beard, it must have been relaxing.

Now that my parents are gone and with the the sex of Baby #2 revealed (girl! if you missed it), I'm starting to focus on what we need to do to prepare for her arrival. There are very few things, but some will require some time (like taming Mia's tazmanian devil bedtime habits -- more on that in another post, I'm sure). It is weighing on my mind a bit that I still have over 4 months to go with this pregnancy, and that seems like an awfully long time right now. I'll have to start planning a couple of things between now and then to break up the time. My Mom will be back in mid-November, just before my due date, and my Dad and brother are planning on coming back for Christmas this year. Lots to look forward to, but for now, returning to normalcy sounds pretty good to me too.

It's a...

I was absolutely convinced that I was having a boy. I mean, totally convinced. But, as I've disclaimed before... my instincts are always wrong. I have this theory that women pregnant with girls tend to look less pretty than usual, and women pregnant with boys look prettier than their normal selves during pregnancy. I thought I was looking pretty cute for the past couple of weeks, so I thought... boy. Since unborn sex theories are a whole lot of crap, it looks like mine fits in with the rest of them. 

I was majorly surprised when the ultrasound tech flashed to the area between the legs and I saw a whole lot of blank space. I had to ask her if she was sure. "I'm sure!" She said. Then, the doctor came in to verify the results, and sure enough, he was also quite sure it was a little girl. In that moment though, I pictured Mia with a sister and could not contain my excitement.

A small part of me is sad, of course. I think I'll have a few pangs of mourning for the son I thought I was having, but it's entirely useless to be sad about this kind of thing. The sadness I may feel at most likely never having a son is overshadowed by the absolute joy I feel at the prospect of Mia having a little sister. And so much of it doesn't mean anything - there's not much that I would have wanted to do with a son that I can't do with a daughter, and I'm constantly reminding B of this (his only sadness has to do with the whole "passing the family name" business, which... I don't relate much to -- which also, let's not stereotype too much here, there are about a million reasons a woman might name her children with her own family name...). 

Anyway! Overall, we are super super excited! We have the name narrowed down pretty well, I think. We had always discussed a second daughter's name, and while B refuses to commit because he wants to cover all other possibilities, every other possibility I throw out there, he doesn't like. Also, now that we know it's a girl, I am relieved not to have to buy a whole new wardrobe. Anyone care to contribute what I actually do need to buy for a second kid?

16 Weeks!

Feeling generally well at this point, with very occasional  waves of gagging that do not lead to any actual vomiting, so... hurray! I am definitely getting bigger, though thankfully have not yet gained any actual pounds (which is good, since I was overweight at the point of getting pregnant). I do feel like I am shrinking in the thigh/butt/arm fat region, which I credit to a combination of the first 13 weeks of wanting to eat nothing, and now to the feeling of fullness much sooner, thanks to everything getting smooshed into my belly region.

The belly though, it is growing. I am in maternityy pants full time, and am really starting to push it with the non-maternity yet longer shirts. I have a picture, but it's in the bathroom. So forgive the fact that it is in the bathroom and be thankful that my full form is blocking the view of the toilet. Sometimes, like in the below picture, immediately after lunch it is like... BAM PREGNANT. And sometimes, it's like... BAM, TOO MUCH ICE CREAM.

Just this morning, as I was getting myself ready (blissfully alone!), I noticed that I am starting to grow a beard. It's more like very fine, blond sideburns that are extending into the mutton chop region, but it's there, and I definitely didn't have that before. It's not terribly surprising or upsetting, since I am the proud waxer of a shestache but it is pretty unfortunate. I am hoping this isn't something that sticks around after giving birth. 

Also, earlier this week my nails started falling apart, which was somewhat alarming since my nails were so strong and long during my first trimester. I also had a big chunk of hair fall out in after the shower this weekend, which of course, made me absolutely convinced that my baby had died for about 12 hours, until I felt some movement again. Well, I guess I still don't have 100% confirmation that I am in fact a crazy pregnant lady, since its very possible I've been feeling gas or digestion for the past couple of weeks. I'm not REALLY worried though, I haven't had any other symptoms but I am glad to have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to confirm my craziness.

We are making absolutely no progress on the name front.Well, I'm lying. We actually have had a girl name since long before getting pregnant for a second time, but we have no standouts for boys. My initial instinct of George for a boy is fading, since I haven't had any more dreams. B and I went in to our first anatomy ultrasound with 3 girl names and 3 boy names, and had settled on Mia's name about 3 hours after finding out she was a girl. I don't think this will be happening the second time around. Not that it HAS to, but you know. One less thing.

One of my best friends had her baby this morning (at a week past due!), and he is so cute and it is definitely getting me a lot more excited to be progressing. December 3rd still seems really far away!

Post doctor's appointment update: Everything is good, heartbeat present, baby rolling around, nails falling apart is a mere quirk. Crazy Pregnant Lady Status Confirmed.

Return to Normalcy

Have I mentioned how much B's training sucks? Yes, I am sure I have, lest I miss a chance to complain on this blog of mine. Well. It has. I mean, I really shouldn't complain about all of the inconveniences that come with a promotion. It's not only the fact that I've really had to do almost anything necessary for either the household, the dogs, or Mia before 7pm, but we've really started noticing that without our mornings together, the time we spend as a family is lacking.

For the past several weeks, B has been out the door before I even get myself out of bed. Thankfully, he was assigned for a portion of his training at a location across town, and this portion has ended. Of course, there are no guarantees that new locations will be any closer, but we can hope they'll take our house location into consideration (please?). Whether Mia has become overly demanding, or my patience has disappeared (a bit of both, I'd say), it has not been easy to solo-parent in the mornings.

Anyway, it looks like we'll be getting at least a couple of weeks of not too far away work. So, that's good. Mia, whose internal clock has her waking up at 6:30 no matter what day of the week it is, or what her parent's schedule is, has been getting into my bed, handing me the remote and watching about an hour and a half of Disney Junior in the mornings, while I snooze and get myself ready for the day. She was not happy about me turning that Disney Junior off after 20 minutes, so that she could eat her breakfast and get out the door with her Papa, as she had always done before. But! I was absolutely thrilled to sit down and eat breakfast all together, and even more thankful to have 45 of peaceful showering without having to share my lipstick with a 3 year old.

This all coincides perfectly with my feeling so much better, which has been doing wonders for both my mood and my energy level.