Friday, June 27, 2014

When life hands you lemons...

and you're not quite at the point where you can make lemonade because... ugh.

So, this whole Baby #2 has been contingent on B finally advancing at work. In my mind, it was. In B's mind, we were doing it this year no matter what. Well, here I am, 17 weeks along, and here B is, three months into his four month training, when... it looks like it's not going to work out. He's been having these monthly evaluations, and at the conclusion of his third month, he is informed by the training manager that they don't believe he will be ready in time. They recommend he go back to his previous role. But it's up to him; he can go through his 4th month, but if he does and hasn't gotten to the point they want him to be, he'll have to leave the company. If he goes back to his previous role now, he can "try this whole thing again next year".

I don't believe they are giving him this ultimatum. Obviously, I am not there, all day, every day, but I absolutely will not be convinced that they are making the right decision. That these people, making these decisions, are any more qualified than my smart, hardworking, dedicated husband. Because they're not. Why invest three months into a person without seeing it through? Giving him this option at the end of the training program, rather than now?

B's confidence is, understandably, shaken. Maybe I don't have the personality for this, he says. Being a bank manager isn't what I expected; it's a lot closer to being a manager in retail than being knowledgeable, he says. It's been really stressful, and I haven't been enjoying it, he says. And maybe I've been too self-involved to notice. Concentrating on my [physical] discomfort, focusing on how this training was affecting me, telling myself that it would improve by the end of next month. But would it? I'm not sure anymore. Though I 99% believe that if B chose to follow through with the training, he'd be a more than capable manager, it's just not a risk we can take with a second baby on the way. And I can't trust these people to realize that.

As far as the money goes, it will probably be fine. Potentially, he can make a lot more as a banker than he can as a branch manager. It's true. It's less consistent, but with the knowledge he's gained from this training, he says he knows that he would be an even better banker than he was before, that he knows how to maximize now. But still, it's incredibly disappointing. And sad. I feel so so sad for him. That he's been doing this rigorous program for three months, only to to be told that he's not the right fit. I can't imagine they're right, but what can you do? Argue with people that in the end, will be your bosses? That's not an option, either.


  1. Wow! It's shocking that they would structure his two choices that way. I can see how the training would give him the insight into how to be a better banker, but what a frustrating situation.

    I hope everything works out for the best.

    Kate @ BJJ, Law, and Living

  2. I think the most telling thing you said is that he doesn't like it. Why even continue with the training if it's for a job he won't enjoy? (and especially if his bosses would be these d*#$heads)