Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Queue Wars

I remember reading somewhere, back when Netflix was DVD-only, that couples would break up over a re-ordered queue. Well, as one of the only remaining DVD subscribers out there, I still feel this pain. While it'll certainly take more than a DVD queue to break us up, I do think a penalty system should be implemented for changing the order of the DVD queue. And that penalty should be doubly imposed when the movie that does show up sucks. SUUUUUUUUCKS.

I have tried, for ages, to convince B that we no longer need to include the DVD option in our Netflix subscription. I mean, who has time to watch 2 full length movies anymore? B strongly opposes the downgrade of our subscription. With the streaming TV shows, movies and now with the addition of HBO Go, it is seriously unnecessary and I will continue to fight this $15/month battle.

As you can gather from my above paragraph, I no longer care for the DVD rental option. Hence, I completely neglect the queue. Very occasionally, I will log on and add a few movies here and there that I can't get on HBO or on streaming that I definitely want to watch. The most recent example, Austenland. I honestly can think of nothing else that I still have on the DVD queue, since my silly husband is continually messing with the queue's order, putting newer movies that he "really wants to see" at the top, and pushing those he "doesnt really want to see" further and further back. I am confident that whatever movies I add, they will be showing up in my mailbox when hell freezes over. Also? I won't notice, because... I won't care.

With Austenland however, I did care. I love Keri Russel, and I love all things Jane Austen. This was up  my alley. I added it, and waited, and waited. Last weekend, I asked B about it. Why haven't I gotten Austenland yet? I put it on the queue ages ago. I checked the red envelope on our entrance table: Riddick. Seriously? The 4th movie in a series of terrible movies? He defended himself: "You saw the first one and didn't hate it!" I sat on the couch, on a Saturday night, with my knitting project, and watched Riddick.

15 minutes in
Frenchie: This movie isn't very good.
B: Yeah, but it's only been like 15 minutes. Let's give it a chance.

45 minutes in
Frenchie: It's getting worse.
B: Yeah, but we're already 45 minutes in. Let's just watch the second half. I think the ending will redeem it.

End of the movie
Frenchie: That was awful. When is Austenland coming?
B: Hmm. You're right, that movie wasn't very good. Austenland? I don't know, let me check. [Clicks a his mouse a few times] Next week!

Great, I get to watch a 4th sequel to a movie I didn't hate, instead of watching a movie called Austenland. My penalty proposal: Everytime you rent one awful, terrible movie, you are banned from reordering the next 3 DVDs. I think that's fair.

He [re]reordered the quene to bring Austenland to the top, and we watched it. It was good! Not fantastic, but certainly better than Riddick. 

OMG, don't watch Riddick.

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