Potty Training Part 2: #2

We are just about to hit a week of full-time awake diapers. At home, we no longer have accidents with #1. On our as short as possible excursions away from home, I've been putting her in a pull-up, and she keeps it dry the whole time! At school, she has consistently come home with two wet pairs of shorts. So, two accidents at school for the past two days. I consider that a win; I don't expect them to ask her whether she has to go potty every 20 minutes, like I do at home. Besides, this is a good chance for her to learn that she needs to ASK! Like I said, we're not even a week in, so I'm hardly complaining.

BUT, this kid. She won't do a #2 in the potty! In nearly 7 days, she's #2'ed ONCE in the potty, and judging by the look on her face, it was completely accidental. Yes, I praised and congratulated, and jumped for joy when it happened. Clearly, not enough to show that this was a good thing. So this clever child, she waits to do her #2s. She knows that I am going to put a diaper on her at bed time, so, she holds it! Until bedtime! Until she has been comfortably tucked in with her overnight pull up on! Then, she peeks down the stairs and discreetly informs us of her situation. 

I don't know what it is. I've read a couple of things where kids don't like the feeling of "letting it loose", or they don't like sitting on the potty for as long as a #2 takes. We'll keep trying, obviously. We'll flush the #2 from the diaper into the potty, tell her that's where it goes, etc. So, that's what we'll concentrate on this weekend. Another fun-filled one, centered on the all consuming potty!

Cancelling the Holiday Travels

When we moved out here almost 3 (gasp!) years ago, we thought we were making the decision to move away for higher salaries, but that those higher salaries would allow us to come back to Chicago for the important stuff. While that's been mostly true, it seems like wedding travel dominates our yearly travel budget. Lucky for us, 2012 had two weddings in Chicago, so two birds two plane tickets, it all worked out.

2013 had one wedding, this time in upstate new york. We were able to see my college friends, which is great - so far I haven't gone a year since graduation without seeing them at least once. We told ourselves we'd do at least one holiday in Chicago this year, whether Xmas or Thanksgiving, whichever one worked out best. Summer's wrapping up and it's time to solidify those plans. Thanksgiving was out - no vacation time, airfare was ridiculous.

So,  Xmas. We've been talking about it for weeks. We need to do it: B's grandparents haven't seen Mia in over a year; Our 2 Chicago weddings celebrated their anniversaries on facebook; Mia probably won't be an only child for much longer; Mia's going to LOVE the Holidays this year.; Mia hasn't seen snow; My sister in law is due on Nov 1st, we'd be able to see our niece while she's still a little bundle of an infant. So many reasons to say yes, to book the tickets and move forward with our planning.

I shopped some airfare. I found a pretty decent price, but we'd be travelling on the 25th and leaving on the 1st, which honestly, who cares? I was sure B's family would be happy to celebrate on the 25th, too. I thought it was a perfect compromise, we'd be there 7 days, B's got the time off we were already telling our family and friends we wouldn't be making it, but secretly keeping our eyes on Kayak plane fare just in case it dipped below $1,000 for the three of us. And this weekend... it did. Just as I was getting ready to put a nice little bow on everything and present it to my dear husband, he breaks the news. His car needs new brakes, new tires. And the total cost of these repairs? Exactly the same as the 3 plane tickets I found to shuttle us to his grandparents' house just in time for Xmas dinner.

ARGH, adulthood. You stink.

Potty Training Part 1

Last time we bought a 50-pack of diapers, I decided this was the last of it. We switched Mia to pull ups when she moved up to the 2 year old class, because they informed us that the teacher would automatically put her on their little bitty toilet every time she had a wet diaper, just to get her used to it. 3 months later, her teacher told us that she was OK with us dropper her off in undies, if we wanted to.

I take that as a gentle nudge to get this transition done already. So, for the past few Saturdays and some Friday afternoons, I've been letting Mia go diaper free all morning, and having her sit on her potty every 20 minutes or so. After the umpteenth time I'd interrupt her activities to sit her on that little frog-shaped toilet without her actually going, she'd start getting real annoyed with me. And vice versa. I would get super frustrated that she'd wet herself within 5 minutes after I just took her to sit down, so I gave up after 2 sets of undies. This weekend, I told myself to just give it one more chance past the 2 accidents.

After that second one, I watched her like a hawk. Like a weird stalker hawk continuously staring at my daughter's crotch. But, the weird crotch stares paid off when I was able to grab her just as I saw a TINY speck of moisture and run to the potty. It scared the crap out of her, and she was super upset with me, but once she calmed down, she did it. She finished up in the potty, and we celebrated and cheered, and gave her some candy. And with that - she understood what the potty was for! We continued with undies until around noon. She had one more accident, but tinkled in the potty many more times. So, challenge continues, but at least she knows what we want when we put her down on the potty now!

We've been continuing training every evening after she gets home from daycare, and while we have yet to do a successful #2 in the pot, things are still going pretty well (she waits to #2 until she's got a pull up on...). The tentative goal is to go pull-up free all weekend, except for night time and naps. So, here it goes!

For a bit of light reading...

Since I haven't picked up a non-study guide book in over 6 months, one of the things on my post-bar list was: Read fiction. With that being the first criteria, there are several others that I had to impose on my tired, overcrowded brain. Easy, unrelated to my life, and nothing that would even remotely qualify as "literature". 

First up, the Beautiful Creatures series, also known as the Caster Chronicles, though I had no idea of what in the world that meant at the time I downloaded it onto my Kindle. It's a young adult (Easy = check!) series of 4 books which I believed to be a love story between a human and a witch (unrelated to my life = check!). You know, Twilight meets Harry Potter (not literature = check!).

Not surprisingly, I finished the first book by Monday evening and it was extremely satisfying. There really is nothing like losing yourself in one of these books! More Twilight than Harry Potter, but the heroine is significantly less annoying than Edward and Bella, which, in my opinion, the biggest downfall of the Twilight series. It has its roll-your-eyes moments, but overall, it is exactly what I needed. 

Next on the list, the Divergent series!

Oh, on a side note, I've decided to stop making the bracelets from my Etsy Shop, so I discounted the bracelets to cost, and hope to close out my inventory before moving on to something new. So take a look at anything you might have liked before, and buy it at a much lower price!

Coming out of it

I have several posts started in my draft folder that were soooo depressing that I couldn't even finish typing them. I mentioned briefly in my first post-bar post that I was having trouble adjusting to life post-bar. I'm finally adjusting from my postBARtum depression. (GET IT? I'm funny.)

In this moment, I can hardly explain how I was feeling, but I seriously struggling. I would look up from whatever I was doing, and say "Ughhh, I'm struggling", silently and to myself, of course. But today, after taking a sick day to take Mia to the doctor for a long-time cough, things seem... better. For no good reason, they just seem better.

All the things I was sad about before? They're still there. Whether I want to check job postings, find out whether I could work with a recruiter, whether I want to ask for a raise... all those things are still there, still problems. But I don't feel them physically weighing down on me the way I have in the past couple of weeks.

I'm adjusting - waiting, knowing that however difficult it can be, we're getting there. B and I go to bed every night giggling about something cute and funny Mia did that day. Last night, we were a bit more sentimental than usual and asked each other how we could have gotten so lucky with our little one. So sweet and so fiesty, so smart and so silly. Are all parents this obsessed with their children? He said probably. I said I hoped so.

PS - MPRE tomorrow! And then, finally, I will get to the books waiting for me on my Kindle.

The big girl bed adventures

The second your kid turns two, that magic number seems to trigger a series of milestones that everyone believes you should start achieving. Mia turned two a couple of months ago, but those two months were filled with stacks of bright orange BarBri books, streaming lectures, highlighters and flashcards (one flashcard was devoted to a list of said milestones awaiting bar completion). And this weekend, we started on one of the items: transitioning Mia into a regular bed.

Mia wakes up almost every morning, crying. If she wakes up at night for any reason, she's also crying. I read somewhere that though most parents take their kid falling from their crib when trying to climb out as the sign to switch to a bed, sometimes a toddler still waking up crying can be a sign that they are ready for some freedom. Hopefully, this was Mia's problem and we weren't going to be doomed to be woken up by a crying kid for the rest of our lives.

I had fully intended on moving her straight from her crib into a twin bed, but this month's budget is a bit tight, so that will have to wait. I didn't want to put off the transition though, so instead, we just turned her crib into a toddler bed by removing one of the side railings. Things went... about as you would expect.

The first night, she was thrilled at the novelty of being able to get in and out on her own. She gleefully climbed in, but about 10 minutes later, we had a little person peering at us in the living room from the top of the stairs. And then again 20 minutes later. And 20 minutes after that. So... that first night, B and I gave in to Mia's request to "sit der, on floor" until she fell asleep.The second night, bedtime went much more smoothly. She went down, and didn't get up. But, when we went to check on her, she was face down, on the carpet, with her head under the bed. Oops. That day, we decided to give it one more night, and if she was still falling off, we'd wait until we could get a twin bed and a bed rail.

Of course, in true toddler fashion, she spent all night in her bed, and woke up fresh on her own, and B found her quietly reading a book when he came to check on her after his shower. This is exactly what I was hoping for!

Is back!

Well, Nevada Bar Exam July 2013 is official over! Well, not quite because it turns out that, adding insult to injury, I also have to re-take the MPRE next Saturday. But still, relatively speaking, I am over the biggest hurdle.

The whole ordeal of studying, and then sitting for the bar, was physically, mentally, and personally grueling, but in the end I got through it. In reflecting on the exam itself, I find myself completely perplexed at how to deal with the low pass rate. If 40% of the people taking this exam will not be making it through, and if 60% of the people taking this exam performed better than I did, I absolutely cannot see myself doing ANY better the second time around.

Now, do not take that in the "Well, I could NOT have done any better" sense saying that I was excellent and nobody could have done better, but instead, I just cannot see myself doing the whole thing again and having the result come out differently. While I'm not saying that I wouldn't retake it, I am just not sure I would pass the second time if I did have to retake it.

I've found that coming back to "normal life" post bar exam has been a bit more difficult than I anticipated. I feel like complete mush, of course, but more than that, there's a sense of dissatisfaction. You spend the months leading up to the bar building anticipation to cross this hurdle, and then once you cross it, you go back to your normal life to wait. But wait for what, exactly? The results, yes, but if I do pass, I'm not entirely sure I am going to be launching into a full-out job search.

First, while I was away, my Company started doing well again. No late paychecks, no more unpaid time off. I am officially back to 5 days a week, every week. Second, while I'm still somewhat dissatisfied in the lack of lawyering in my day to day, B has (frequently) pointed out that the grass is not always greener.

Besides that, I am back and trying to figure out what I want to do in terms of this blog, my Etsy shop, and... all the other things ever.

A conversation with Mia

Mia: Mama, ma poop!
Me: You pooped? Ok, let me check.
[She turns around and allows me to peer in her diaper]
Me: Yup. You pooped. Let's go upstairs and change your diaper.
Mia: I want Lola see ma poop! [Lola=my mom]
Lola, overhears her coming up the stairs: You pooped?
Mia: Yes! Poop in ma diapers!
Me: Ok, Mia, let me change you.
Mia: No. Lola change you. No Mama!

If that's not a parenting win, I don't know what is.

Mia's Second

I'll let the lateness of this post slide (and I hope you will too) considering the circumstances of 1) a million family members being in town 2) a birthday party to plan and get together, and 3) all while continuing to attend BarBri lectures both in person, online at home and online at work. But, the most important thing to take out of this is... Mia turned two this weekend!!

Saturday, to be more specific. At 2, Mia had very little idea why when she woke up from her nap, the house was filled with balloons and Olivia paraphernalia, to her great delight. I told her many many times that day that it was her birthday, which she would repeat back with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, but of course, she has no idea what the hell that actually means.

Regardless, Mia very much enjoyed the mountains of attention she received from her many guests, and playing with the two children we invited. I thought about organizing some games and activities for the kids, but brought out a bunch of bubbles, bubble wands and bubble guns (all of which are completely broken now, not surprisingly) instead which kept them all very occupied for the duration of the afternoon.

At two, Mia:

Weighs 24lbs, 1 oz. (10-25%)

Is 33.5 inches tall. (25-50%)

Size: 2T

She talks - non stop. She talks to us, she talks to the dogs, she talks to her dolls and stuffed animals, NON STOP. We hear her talking to herself in her crib after a nap, before a nap, during a nap... NON STOP. You get the idea.

We've developed a lovely morning routine where Brian gets her out of her crib right after he's showered, and while I'm still slumbering, and she'll come in and say: "Wake up, Mama!", and she proceeds to climb into Brian's spot and pretend to go back to sleep. She's also figured out how to shut off my alarm clock, which has made oversleeping much easier to do.

She is so much fun, but she continues to be sassy. She's constantly putting B (Papa) in "Time Ouuuut!" for the thing she believes to be against the rules. Of course, Papa deserves it about 75% of the time. If she doesn't get something she wants, she hangs her head in absolute despair, until she either gets over it, or... I give in.

She eats in a booster chair, at the table, on her own. She's pretty picky in what she'l eat, and is really inconsistent in her preferences. One night, she'll eat an entire chicken sausage and ask for more, and others, she eats only the green beans. We try not to make too many things available to her, and we do our best to feed her the same thing we are eating. If we're having something spicy or strongly flavored, she'll get a bowl of Mac n Cheese and be thrilled about it.

She has started to pay attention to televisions and can actually sit for about an hour of a move. Her favorites, in order, are The Lorax, The Lorax, and The Lorax. At least it's a fun movie with a good message, and we've moved on from Yo Gabba Gabba.

We are maybe slightly starting to consider potty training, and on Tuesday, she took a bona fide tinkle in the potty. We celebrated with much fanfare, but haven't gotten much further than that. My Mom is in town until the beginning of July and vows to have her completely trained by the time she leaves, which is absolutely fine with me.

So Mia, you'll have to forgive me for this post being a bit less detailed than the others, but Mama's got a Conflicts lecture to get back to. I love you more than you can imagine,

Mama.

Surrogacy and Adoption

I know it's been a LONG, LIKE SUPER DE DUPER LONG time since I've authored a post here.  I hope Frenchie can forgive me.  But tonight I have something on my mind and lately with how cutthroat Facebook has become, it doesn't seem the place for it.  I know we have a small but friendly and powerful audience here, but I also welcome, in fact REQUEST that if this blog post hits your heart, that you share it in any way possible: your blog, another mommy blog, tell a friend, etc.  Tim and I are at a junction where we are trying to decide if, when, and how to grow our family.  And I have been told that in situtations like this, even though one's first instinct might be to clam up and stay low until everything blows over, the exact opposite is what you should, or in fact NEED to do.  When looking for help growing your family in a non-traditional way, miracles are possible and at times more likely when more people hear your story.

Because of the heart trouble that happened when I gave birth to Tybalt, I have been HIGHLY discouraged from getting pregnant ever again.  Some womens' doctors (ob/gyns as well as cardiologists) differ in their opinion, but because of the severity of my post partum cardiomyopathy compared to some other cases, both of my doctors say no.  Or, in more clearer terms, "HELL NO."

This makes me sad.  It makes me depressed.  It makes me want to raise my arms to the heavens and say, "THANK YOU GOD FOR MY WONDERFUL AND HANDSOME MIRACLE BABY.  I LOVE HIM MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPRESS,  AND I LOVE YOU FOR GIVING HIM TO ME.  DON'T GET ME WRONG THROUGHOUT ALL THIS--I HAVE FAITH, BELIEVE, AND AM VERY THANKFUL.  ALL THAT SAID...WTH?  YOU KNOW I DIDN'T WANT AN ONLY CHILD!  YOU KNOW MY HEART AND 'WOMB' ARE ACHING AND THAT I CRY DAILY!  I MAY ONLY BE ONE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS IN THIS WORLD OF BILLIONS, BUT PLEASE, REALLY, COULD YOU DO ME A 'SOLID' AND PUT ME UPWARDS ON THE LIST A BIT?  I SWEAR ONCE YOU GET ME A KID YOU CAN TAKE ME AND PUT ME RIGHT BACK DOWN WITH THE REST AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PRAYER LIST.  HELP ME HAVE ANOTHER CHILD!  PLEASE, I BEG!  SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY (THOUGH SAFELY FOR ME, SO NATURAL PREGNANCY IS PRETTY MUCH OUT, UNLESS YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON'T.  I NEED THIS GOD, I REALLY, REALLY NEED THIS.  (And here's where I humbly admit that I'm a tiny bit pissed you haven't already just left one on my doorstep at this point, seeing I've been praying so long, and even when I'm not you're supposed to know the desires of my heart.  Right?)"

So, Tim and I are planning on either adopting or trying to use a surrogate.  I don't know much about the surrogacy process.  I'm wondering if any of you out there know anything.  Perhaps you've done it yourself or have a family member of friend who has?  And when I say "done it" that could mean being involved on either end--using a surrogate to have a baby, or even being a surrogate for a couple.  If this applies to you or someone you intimately know, could you possibly work on connecting us for an online conversation?  I have SO many questions about it.  My brain is just swimming.

As for adoption, it is obviously more widely practiced.  And I visit many blogs of adoptive mothers to read their stories and get a peek into their lives.  However, again, if one of you have been through adoption or know someone who has--either adopted or given a child "up" for adoption, I would really apprecaite the opportunity to connect with you/them online.  Most of the bloggers seem too busy to really talk.  Either that or they haven't really opened up for the chance to talk because they don't have contact information like an email address on their blogs, oddly enough.

Anyway, this post isn't meant to be a sob story.  If someone is waiting for that kind of post in order to help Romeo and I, I guarantee if they wait long enough it will come.  At this point, I'm really just kind of hoping that by putting this ponderance out into the universe and asking any of you readers who are willing to spread it further--as far as possible, that someone somewhere will see I am a loving and hopeful mother and woman, who is just fervently praying for the chance to have another child or two (twins!  why not?) and that they find it in their heart to help me in my next step.  Whatever that is!

Quick Post

My life has been taken over by BarBri. 

This is obviously no surprise, and I'm not sure why I'm having such a difficult time coming to terms with it. I've done it before, and yes, your life gets completely taken over by floppy heavy books (why can't they bind these a bit better? too floppy), index cards, highlighters, and practice questions. I paid my tuition about two weeks ago and have had access to everything online, so everytime I have any downtime, whether at work or at home, I am devoting it to the Early Paced Program (which is really like 7 weeks worth of work, but you know..) until the regular Paced program starts on May 20th.

So that nobody thinks that I'm an overachiever, let's keep in mind that while the regular law school kids will be able to spend all their waking hours on this, I will still have to show up to my job for 8 hours every day, at least until they very last few weeks. So while I'm still at about T-80 days, I already feel like I'm behind. 

3 years out of law school, and things are coming back. Thankfully, somewhat quicker than I thought they would. While I feel like I'm spending an inordinate amount of time trying to pull Future Interest out of my distant memory, here's the shocking thing... IT'S BEEN KINDA FUN.

What I'm not going to do right now is write about how sad it makes me to think about missing out on so much time with my nearly two year old little girl when I start going to class every night from 6-10. At least not right now.

Injured

Bright and early saturday morning, at the very start of my highly anticipated weekend which was meant to be filled with errands, fun and cleaning, I walked down the steps carrying a fully dressed Mia, and did God knows what to my back. I didn't fall, I didn't slip, I didn't even miss a step, and yet... I was in serious pain. Work has been sucky and continues to be sucky, though some solutions are presenting themselves so it's not as bad as all that, it's just... unpleasant. The point is, I was very much looking forward to keeping busy and my mind otherwise occupied. So the pain did that, but you know, also kept me parked on my behind, giving me, you know, time to think about the sucky things at work when I do not want to be thinking of such things.

ANYWAY, my weekend was spent on my couch, neglecting all my normal weekend duties. I was perched on my fully pillows nearly the entire time, taking a break for a couple of walks so as not to reach full sloth status, but getting absolutely no cleaning or laundry done. Also, in response to my complaints that this has never happened to me before, and what could I have wrong, my husband says: Well, you've never been this old before. Thanks for pointing that out, dearest.


Other things that happened:

- In an attempt to keep my child entertained with minimal physical effort, I allowed her to play with my iPhone. In addition to the very many rearranged App icons, she managed to turn on TWO of my previously used alarm clocks. One for 4:25am, and the other for 5:30am. So, that happened. It was very confusing and I had no idea why my phone was ringing like cathedral bells in the middle of the night and early morning. I came to and made the connection. So, thanks for that, Mia. Way to keep us on our toes.

- In what turned out to be a poor back-related decision, but a good food related decision, I got up off my couch and went to the Las Vegas Foodie Fest at which there were 30+ food trucks and ate the most delicious things. B and I shared some Asian tacos, one Korean beef, and the other some kind of delicious chicken. I also made a beeline for a truck labelled Filipino Fusion (for obvious reasons) and had my most favorite Filipino food re-vamped. Khalua-marinated pork belly (and here's the twist)... NACHOS. Oh yeah.

-I discovered my new guilty pleasure while B is at work on Saturdays show: Vampire Diaries. It is terrible and great in all expected ways and I like it very much. I streamed the first four episodes on Saturday, and wished to watch it on Sunday but refrained.

Pillow Talk

My husband, who normally, is the person who keeps everything together, sighed heavily that he was stressed, just as we were turning out the lights. He hides his stress, and he usually hides it well. He handles our money, and our bank account was low and waiting desperately for my paycheck to clear (spoiler alert, it cleared and we are no longer low... until next time). Nearly 6 months ago, he was told that he would very soon be considered for this promotion, and just last week, he was finally given the go-ahead to officially apply. So he did, and now a week and a half later, he feels like he's back to the position he was 6 months ago... just waiting without much encouragement.

At times like this, the only way a couple can function is if the other party is the strong one - everyone gets their turn to reassure the other, everything will be just fine. But with the day I had yesterday, with one financial blow (at work) after the next, I wasn't feeling like the strong one. I had a day of planning out contingencies in case my Company shuts down: I'd get unemployment, we'd have to ask for forbearance on our loans, we'd keep my small car, we'd cancel daycare, etc. But, I did my best as the strong one. Reminding him that it had been less than 10 days since he put his application in, and they wouldn't have asked you to apply if they weren't considering you, there must be something bigger going on right now that they have to deal with, etc.

And then, I reminded him that none of it is real. If the society shut down (Walking Dead , or Lost style!), job promotions and credit ratings and car payments, all of that disappears because it just... isn't real. Remember what's important - moments like Mia running around our hallway in her diaper before her bath, taking turns roaring at us, and us taking turns pretending to be scared. The Giggles (capitalized, because they were GIGGLES) and Joy and Fun. As long as the three of us are together, under one roof, warm, healthy and together. That's what happiness is, and if we lost that, then you should be stressed.

As, as if on cue, Mia, in all her toddler glory, started crying from her bedroom and asking to come "In dair, bed", we let our sleep training guard down and plobbed her tiny warm body between us and went to sleep smelling her clean baby hair.

And then... of course at 3 am, when she yanked on my earring, deeply regretted our decision.

Visitor Season

This week begins the Frenchie family's season of visitors. On Friday, we welcome B's younger sister, her husband and our nephew. In two weeks, we welcome B's older sister. Two weeks after that, my parents arrive in all their long-staying visitor glory. A week later, my uncle from the Philippines also visits (where we will put a third visitor is still up in the air), and my Mom stays through with us until the beginning of July.

We had planned a peaceful weekend before the storm, but of course, these things never work out as planned. Our dearest Juliet and her family a bit of an unfortunate turn of events and were basically ousted from their apartment this weekend, so we spent Saturday morning helping them out (B providing the muscle and yours truly providing the throw-things-in-a-box expertise), Saturday afternoon baking and getting ready for a pot-luck Filipino party, Saturday night taming an overtired from lack of nap and late bedtime tantrum. How dare you put "ocean" (lotion) on my legs, Mama? And Sunday, well, as planned, Sunday was a clean the very dirty parts of your house (stove, kitchen, carseats) and fix the guest room day.. Buy curtains for guest room? Not done. Buy towel rack for guest bath? Not done. At least I've got clean sheets in the dryer waiting to be put on the bed. At least.

But, since everything ended with the 3rd episode of Game of Thrones, everything was right with the world and here we are on Monday morning, with a lengthy to-do-list remaining in preparation of our visitor season.

Frenchie McKnitsalot

This post is mostly for my own benefit, so non-knitters bear with me as I document my projects (or just look at the pretty pictures of knits!). I take pictures of everything I knit, and then the pictures just sit on my phone doing nothing. I've been in a very knitting-heavy phase, to the point that my second thought after hearing of my sister in law's pregnancy was that I had an excuse to make a beautiful baby blanket. At least it wasn't my first thought, right?

I try to keep up with my projects on Ravelry, but a lot of the time my progress relative to others on there makes me sad, because I wish I could just knit all the live long day. But, here's what I've made in 2013 between the house of 8-10:30 pm:

I covered my old couch's throw pillows that were a not so pretty olive green microsuede with a pretty basket-weave. In order to use up some of my incomplete skeins, I made it with two different yarns. The lavender yarn is a soft merino/silk/wool blend, and the light blue side is a 100% pima cotton. I wish I had stuck with wool because the green color is peeking through the less tight cotton knit, but it's still pretty. I will cover up the second cushion, but that'll be for later on this year. The pattern is my own - there isn't much to it except casting and re-casting on to make sure there were enough stitches to cover the entire pillow, and alternating a stockinette and garter stitch. 

PS, that's my new couch! Isn't it pretty?

This is my first pair of socks! I'm pretty sure the pattern I used is a totally non-traditional sock pattern, but since it had step my step pictures, I went with it. I haven't had time to sign up for a class to make a traditional sock, but I'm happy with the way these turned out! This is a Cascade Paints sock yarn. My current project is another pair of these socks, using a white Malabrigo sock yarn. Washable!

This is a baby blanket I made for friends of ours in Chicago. This is the Berrocco Vintage, and it's totally washable which is ideal for a baby blanket. I modified a pattern I found in a library book called the Batternberg Blanket, and it made a really cool faux-cable effect.

A little cap sleeve diamond-lace sweater for Mia that took about 5 days, and knit all in one piece! This was a super fun project and I think I'll enlarge the pattern and make one for myself some day! The yarn was a Tuesday Morning find, a brand that I cannot remember, but it's 95% Cotton and 5% Cashmere, so it's super soft and airy. Also, washable!

That's it! The only project that I didn't post was my Empire Strikes Back dress, which I am bout 90% finished with, but after I tried it on and didn't love it, I haven't had the heart to finish the collar. I'll pick it up again soon and hopefully come to like my first adult-sized garment.

Over Qualified

Well, the first attempt at "change" has been crossed off the list. I recently applied to a mid-level human resources position at one of the big casinos in town. In the 18 months or so, this is only the 3rd job where I felt like I was being strongly considered for the position. I had exchanged a few emails with the corporate HR director, who happens to know my Dad (which never hurts). After telling me that he was going to schedule an interview and not hearing back from him for a couple of weeks of not hearing from him, I started to get a bad feeling that I picked the wrong position to apply for (there were tons of openings, and the one I picked seemed like the best match for a legal background), he informed me that I was overqualified, and that the pay would not meet my expectations. Would I like to apply for this paralegal position, instead? You'd likely still be overqualified, but at least you have the background.

What does that even mean, over-qualified? If you're looking strictly at education, sure. But experience? No. I'm hardly going to argue with him, that would not help the situation. I mean, the salary is just over half of what I'm making now, so even if I did manage to convince them that I was NOT overqualified, the pay would be prohibitive. So full speed ahead with Nevada Bar exam studying. I think I'm done with job applications for now.

Happy just Being

Our little family of three is getting comfortable in our little life. We're getting settled into the new house. A couch is on its way and should be delivered next Saturday. My parents bought us a dining table as an early birthday/christmas/every gift they may want to give us in 2013, so that is also on its way. We've got paint samples on the walls, and we are waiting for the time to undertake that kind of project to present itself. We're ready to stay put for at least five years; we're not interested in buying ourselves and having my parents as landlords is basically the same thing anyway.

Mia's transition to the two year old room has gone smoothly, especially since they spent about 80% of the day outside with the rest of the school, so she still sees her younger friends regularly. She is piecing together sentences. "Cheese!" has turned into "I want cheese... Please?". Now that she's a couple of months away from two, it seems like we're inching our way out of babydom, which is both relieving and tragic. She needs less from us, on a basic level, but more at the same time. More mindfulness about what we say, how we say it, and act how we generally want her to act. Her decided move towards childhood has made me realize 100% that our family would benefit from an addition. I've always said that I wouldn't consider a second baby until my first was no longer one herself, and it seems that I'm quite true to my word. She's not quite out of the baby stage yet, so I'm not quite in the "trying" stage yet either. We'll save that one for 2014 and just... stay comfortable (and by that I mean nausea-free) until the end of 2013. Though obviously, there is a blog post brewing in my head with an endless list of reasons I worry about bringing a second child into the fold.

We're on the brink of other new things for 2013. I've got the Bar Exam coming up, but it hasn't interfered with our lives yet (aka I'm not stuck to an outline and note cards, but will be in 30 days or so). Professionally, my goal would be not to close out the year in my current position. I'm looking at all possible Las Vegas options - hopefully being licensed opens up the possibility of working in a law office, firm, or in the legal department somewhere, or even not in the legal department somewhere. Either way, turning in my bar application is a more proactive step then I've taken in the past (because, let's face it... complaining about it is not a proactive step). But for now, I'm doing what needs to be done at my current job. Work is steady without being demanding, and paychecks are coming though still delayed. B is supposed to be transitioning into a management training program. We haven't heard anything official, but all signs point to "soon", but either way, knowing that he is moving towards a management position is enough to make his work satisfying.

Doesn't everyone in Vegas celebrate with some Cosmic Bowling?

It seems like the first time in ages that I am willing to consider adding anything to our plates. Though Motherhood in itself came to me easily, shifting the rest of my life around it has not. A task as short-term as painting the walls would never have been on my list - my instinct would have been to envision Mia demanding to be picked up as I was covered in paint, and my second instinct would have been to picture Mia covered in said paint. The same is true for B - any challenges he may have had in the beginning of fatherhood have adjusted themselves. We're both parents, and we're both comfortable as parents. I no longer count down until bedtime - relaxing while Mia is awake is finally possible. I think this has more to do with my progress as a Mom than with Mia's progress.

Now, let's finish up with a birthday shout-out, shall we? Happy Birthday, Juliet!

Creative Frustration

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the thought of finding "my thing". I thought, there has to be something out there that I'm really good at, that would make me so happy that I never wanted for anything else. I took all the lessons: singing, dancing, martial arts, ice skating, etc to infinity. I needed to try everything that sounded interesting, so that I could find It. I never found it. I did, and do many things, but that It still alludes me. Not that I'm trying particularly hard to find it, anymore.

At this point, I have embraced a few things that I honestly do for the sake of enjoyment. My three hobbies. I knit (a lot). I make my bracelets. I blog. I spend as much time as I can doing these things, in addition to the regular, never ending, everyday things that must be done. You know, for life. But, the part of me that was always seeking to be really good at something still isn't satisfied. I look at knitting patterns that are way above my comprehension level, and instead of rationally telling myself that I will get there in a few years, I get frustrated that I can't spend more than two hours knitting to get there faster. I read knitting blogs and get frustrated that I'm not designing patterns the way those knitters are. It's irrational frustration. Relax, enjoy the process of getting there. Of course you're not designing patterns - you're just learning! And ps, you're 29 while most of these knitters are not, so imagine where you'll be when you're a grandmother!

It's the same thing with Beads, comparing my little shop to other shops with thousands of sales. Calm down. Of course you don't have a thousand sales! You don't have the inventory. You've made about 40 bracelets and gotten about 25 sales - that's not bad for the amount you can produce!

Other blogs though, don't. There are so many amazing blogs out there. I read lots of blogs, almost exclusively Moms with young children blogs, who clearly spend lots of time editing and formatting their spaces. They are beautiful and write beautifully and I love reading them. There are so many - I feel like a discover a new site every day. There's BlogHer, and Babble and all sorts of other places for these Moms and writers to do what they do best. And while I envy their abilities, I'm just glad to be very small part of it all. I don't do what they do, and I don't even aspire to do what they do. I'm just glad they're doing it. I like to think of these blogs as BigMommyBlogs, whereas those of us who don't even own our own URLs, we're just along for the ride. (Look for my new favorites linked to throughout this last paragraph, if you're interested in some BigMommyBlogs). 

Phew!

Where have I been, you ask?

Here is where I have been:

The application has been so time consuming, I keep forgetting that I still actually have to take an exam to get licensed here. But, after a painstaking number of things I definitely did not have to do for my Illinois bar exam (fingerprints, DMV records, and about a million trips to the notary, etc.), it's postmarked 3/14, one day before the deadline of 3/15. Hopefully it's complete enough that I do not have to shell out the extra $550 in late fees.

Meanwhile, a few other things happened.

1) The Curve Hotel Palm Springs handled the whole Beg Bug Situation quite poorly, denying any possibility that her bite marks were from their hotel, despite Mia having slept nowhere else where she could possibly of gotten them. Daycare inspected their mattresses, we inspected our mattresses, and nobody at either location has gotten any more bites. So don't stay there. Even if you don't use their cribs, if you do end up having any kind of problem, they'll probably do an awful job handling it. Go to Palm Springs, it's beautiful. But stay somewhere else.

2) Mia was declared ready for the 2 year old room at Daycare. The night after they told us that, I actually cried. I honestly can't believe how quickly she's growing and learning and all that mushy stuff. They've been transitioning her from the 1 year old room to the two year old room for the past few days, with her spending a few hours in there a day. I was concerned because she had formed such a bit attachment to her 1 year old teacher, but it looks like that has significantly subsided. Also, she has a "best friend" in the one year old room whose name she repeats and repeats throughout the evenings and weekends. I actually crossed paths with Best Friend's father at pick up, and he informed me that Mia's name was often repeated as his house as well, so thankfully the feeling is mutual. We've been assured that said best friend will be following into the two year old room in a few weeks. The only thing with the upgrade to the 2 year old room leads to...

3) Potty Training. They have a little potty in there for the two year olds, and part of normal practice is to start putting them on there as soon as they move up to that classroom. So, for the sake of consistency, we are getting one too. I hadn't thought about it yet, honestly, assuming we'd wait until she was over 2 to start. Mia's very verbal, but I'm not sure about how ready her bladder is for this kind of thing. I think for now, we'll just start sitting her bare butt on that plastic little toilet and see how it goes.

It's been a tough couple of weeks. The Bar Exam is looming, and my baby is a child. Look:

Vacation Pests

It looks like my bragging about swimming outdoors in February has come to bite me in the ass. Well, not in the ass, and not me. Instead, karma bites my sweet little Mia, on the hands, ankles and cheeks. And by karma, I mean bed bugs.

So our this:

 turned into, this:

Mia's hands erupted in a red, nasty looking rash on the Monday after our return from Palm Springs. I assumed that it was an allergic reaction to something, or a delayed reaction to us putting sunblock on her. Mia has some mild eczema, so her skin gets irritated pretty easily. But, the rash got redder, and she was constantly scratching at it. To the point of breaking the skin and causing little scabs. So, off to the pediatrician we went, who immediately asked three questions:

1) Did you travel anywhere? 

    Answer: Yes.

2) Did you stay in a hotel?

    Answer: Yes.

3) Did you use a hotel crib?

    Answer: YES?! OMG HOW COULD WE BE SO STUPID, WE JUST WANTED TO SAVE       TRUNK SPACE!

The pediatrician ruled out scabies (thank goodness), and said that they were insect bites. Since the bumps were only on areas of her body not covered by her pajamas (she wore onesie pajamas without footies, but was wearing socks), she deduced that it was bed bugs from the hotel-provided crib. Awesome.

We were given instructions to head straight home, blast any piece of fabric in the high heat setting on the dryer, and bag everything for three days to suffocate everything. Luckily, we were super lazy and hadn't unpacked our bag yet, so it was easy enough to gather everything up. The bites have gotten better, and we haven't noticed any new ones, so we are safe to assume they did not travel back with us, and were only living in the hotel's crib mattress. But our poor child has spent the last few days pointing to her hands and showing us her "Owie", and vigorously scratching. There isn't a treatment for the bug bites themselves, just hydrocortisone to relieve the itching, and neosporin for the scabs she created. 

Now, I'm not going to name the hotel because we're still dealing with them at the moment. I figured that I should hold back any public shaming until we see how they respond to this whole thing. B did talk to the Manager on the telephone a couple of times, so at least they know not to use those cribs. I've uploaded and ordered photos from Shutterfly, and am going to put everything in writing, including a note from our Doctor naming them as "insect bites".

I would hope for a refund. But let's at least take this lesson away: Hotel Cribs = No.