When life hands you lemons...

and you're not quite at the point where you can make lemonade because... ugh.

So, this whole Baby #2 has been contingent on B finally advancing at work. In my mind, it was. In B's mind, we were doing it this year no matter what. Well, here I am, 17 weeks along, and here B is, three months into his four month training, when... it looks like it's not going to work out. He's been having these monthly evaluations, and at the conclusion of his third month, he is informed by the training manager that they don't believe he will be ready in time. They recommend he go back to his previous role. But it's up to him; he can go through his 4th month, but if he does and hasn't gotten to the point they want him to be, he'll have to leave the company. If he goes back to his previous role now, he can "try this whole thing again next year".

I don't believe they are giving him this ultimatum. Obviously, I am not there, all day, every day, but I absolutely will not be convinced that they are making the right decision. That these people, making these decisions, are any more qualified than my smart, hardworking, dedicated husband. Because they're not. Why invest three months into a person without seeing it through? Giving him this option at the end of the training program, rather than now?

B's confidence is, understandably, shaken. Maybe I don't have the personality for this, he says. Being a bank manager isn't what I expected; it's a lot closer to being a manager in retail than being knowledgeable, he says. It's been really stressful, and I haven't been enjoying it, he says. And maybe I've been too self-involved to notice. Concentrating on my [physical] discomfort, focusing on how this training was affecting me, telling myself that it would improve by the end of next month. But would it? I'm not sure anymore. Though I 99% believe that if B chose to follow through with the training, he'd be a more than capable manager, it's just not a risk we can take with a second baby on the way. And I can't trust these people to realize that.

As far as the money goes, it will probably be fine. Potentially, he can make a lot more as a banker than he can as a branch manager. It's true. It's less consistent, but with the knowledge he's gained from this training, he says he knows that he would be an even better banker than he was before, that he knows how to maximize now. But still, it's incredibly disappointing. And sad. I feel so so sad for him. That he's been doing this rigorous program for three months, only to to be told that he's not the right fit. I can't imagine they're right, but what can you do? Argue with people that in the end, will be your bosses? That's not an option, either.

16 Weeks!

Feeling generally well at this point, with very occasional  waves of gagging that do not lead to any actual vomiting, so... hurray! I am definitely getting bigger, though thankfully have not yet gained any actual pounds (which is good, since I was overweight at the point of getting pregnant). I do feel like I am shrinking in the thigh/butt/arm fat region, which I credit to a combination of the first 13 weeks of wanting to eat nothing, and now to the feeling of fullness much sooner, thanks to everything getting smooshed into my belly region.

The belly though, it is growing. I am in maternityy pants full time, and am really starting to push it with the non-maternity yet longer shirts. I have a picture, but it's in the bathroom. So forgive the fact that it is in the bathroom and be thankful that my full form is blocking the view of the toilet. Sometimes, like in the below picture, immediately after lunch it is like... BAM PREGNANT. And sometimes, it's like... BAM, TOO MUCH ICE CREAM.

Just this morning, as I was getting myself ready (blissfully alone!), I noticed that I am starting to grow a beard. It's more like very fine, blond sideburns that are extending into the mutton chop region, but it's there, and I definitely didn't have that before. It's not terribly surprising or upsetting, since I am the proud waxer of a shestache but it is pretty unfortunate. I am hoping this isn't something that sticks around after giving birth. 

Also, earlier this week my nails started falling apart, which was somewhat alarming since my nails were so strong and long during my first trimester. I also had a big chunk of hair fall out in after the shower this weekend, which of course, made me absolutely convinced that my baby had died for about 12 hours, until I felt some movement again. Well, I guess I still don't have 100% confirmation that I am in fact a crazy pregnant lady, since its very possible I've been feeling gas or digestion for the past couple of weeks. I'm not REALLY worried though, I haven't had any other symptoms but I am glad to have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to confirm my craziness.

We are making absolutely no progress on the name front.Well, I'm lying. We actually have had a girl name since long before getting pregnant for a second time, but we have no standouts for boys. My initial instinct of George for a boy is fading, since I haven't had any more dreams. B and I went in to our first anatomy ultrasound with 3 girl names and 3 boy names, and had settled on Mia's name about 3 hours after finding out she was a girl. I don't think this will be happening the second time around. Not that it HAS to, but you know. One less thing.

One of my best friends had her baby this morning (at a week past due!), and he is so cute and it is definitely getting me a lot more excited to be progressing. December 3rd still seems really far away!

Post doctor's appointment update: Everything is good, heartbeat present, baby rolling around, nails falling apart is a mere quirk. Crazy Pregnant Lady Status Confirmed.

Return to Normalcy

Have I mentioned how much B's training sucks? Yes, I am sure I have, lest I miss a chance to complain on this blog of mine. Well. It has. I mean, I really shouldn't complain about all of the inconveniences that come with a promotion. It's not only the fact that I've really had to do almost anything necessary for either the household, the dogs, or Mia before 7pm, but we've really started noticing that without our mornings together, the time we spend as a family is lacking.

For the past several weeks, B has been out the door before I even get myself out of bed. Thankfully, he was assigned for a portion of his training at a location across town, and this portion has ended. Of course, there are no guarantees that new locations will be any closer, but we can hope they'll take our house location into consideration (please?). Whether Mia has become overly demanding, or my patience has disappeared (a bit of both, I'd say), it has not been easy to solo-parent in the mornings.

Anyway, it looks like we'll be getting at least a couple of weeks of not too far away work. So, that's good. Mia, whose internal clock has her waking up at 6:30 no matter what day of the week it is, or what her parent's schedule is, has been getting into my bed, handing me the remote and watching about an hour and a half of Disney Junior in the mornings, while I snooze and get myself ready for the day. She was not happy about me turning that Disney Junior off after 20 minutes, so that she could eat her breakfast and get out the door with her Papa, as she had always done before. But! I was absolutely thrilled to sit down and eat breakfast all together, and even more thankful to have 45 of peaceful showering without having to share my lipstick with a 3 year old.

This all coincides perfectly with my feeling so much better, which has been doing wonders for both my mood and my energy level.

On the cusp of 15 weeks

I am reluctant to type it, but here it is anyway: I am feeling rather well. Really, quite quite well. Yes, I still get exhausted, but that can simply be chalked up to the whole "growing a human is a lot of work" business. But generally, my energy is coming back, my appetite is back, my aversions are dissipating pretty well, and I am generally entering a good phase of pregnancy. I am starting to feel some movement on a regular basis, too! So that's been fun.

The Belly though! It is present. I am surprised at its very sudden emergence this week. It was there last week, but it looked like a whole lotta pudge. But a few days ago, its taken on a very round and pregnant character. I mean, I think it's significantly rounder than it probably should be at this stage of pregnancy, but it is number two, after all. But it is here, and it is not hiding. I am exclusively in maternity pants, and I can still pull off loose, long, billowy non-maternity shirts, but I am quickly running out of options. Today's maxi dress is pushing the office dress code a little bit, but it is one of the few items of clothing that will definitely cover everything up. While I did keep all of my maternity wear from Pregnancy #1, I was pregnant on the opposite schedule, so all of the maternity clothing appropriate for this earlier stage are long sleeve, and my summer maternity shirts look like tents on this size bump. So to Old Navy's maternity section I will go in the next few days.

I went to my first Prenatal Yoga class this weekend, and that was great fun. I was probably one of the least far along attendees, but I really enjoyed it. It's offered through the hospital at which I plan to deliver, so it's very low cost and casual. It was tiring, but certainly not a yoga class that you walk out of drenched in sweat, so it will definitely be manageable on a weekly basis.

It was overall a pretty great weekend. Errands, a bit of fun, cleaning and organizing (nesting is starting! I love the productivity of nesting), and Roscoe training!

The Accidental Birthday Gift

On Wednesday, this picture popped up in my facebook feed, posted by one of my knitting club friends, along with a caption: I need to find a home for this adorable little guy. I do not know how old he is. He was abandoned when someone moved out of their apartment. Very sweet. If you have any interest please message me.

Well. I didn't message right away, I just commented something along the lines of him being awfully cute, but that there was no way I was going to get my husband aboard! I texted B the picture, told him the story and his response: "I love it when you initiate serious conversations over text message." I laughed and let it be until that evening. 

Well, later that evening, I brought it up again. I wasn't yearning for a second dog, I was actually content gestating (14 weeks) this baby and adding a second dog once this kid was about a year old. Swarley has been depressed since Chloe's passing, and we knew we were going to add a second a some point. My ears always perk up when I hear of an adoption event on the radio, but I wasn't actively seeking one out. But there was something about that picture, and something about the circumstances that called to me. 

B told me to message her. What was the harm? If she had already found a home for him, then great. You'll feel better once you know. I told him that I was surprised with his reaction; he said that he never liked having a single dog, he just didn't want to start going around to different shelters yet. "If this one falls into our lap, I'm hardly going to say no. Also, you try saying no to your pregnant self."

Well, the dog was staying with my knitting friend's friend. She couldn't keep him, because her one year old lab thought he was a rag doll. She constantly had to keep them separated, and it just wasn't feasible for the long run. We exchanged several messages, I asked all the pertinent questions, and I set up a time for the three of us to go over and meet him. When asking where they lived, I told myself: Ok, if they live far away, we won't go. If they live close by, then that'll be another sign. Well, it turned out they lived about a 5 minute drive from our house, and so we headed out there the next day. I told myself not to get too excited. To make sure he had the right temperament for our family, for Swarley, and most importantly, for Mia. Mia, who is fearless when it comes to dogs, a feeling which is not always reciprocated.

Within minutes of meeting this tiny little guy, Mia declared that she loved him, and that he was her best friend. He licked her face, sat on her (tiny) lap without hesitation, and was just overall incredibly sweet. The woman who had him seemed really attached, so I asked her what she wanted to do. I told her that I liked him, and our only obstacle was to make sure he got along with our Swarley. If she wanted us to go home tonight, we'd bring Swarley back the next day if she wanted to make sure everything was fine before she handed him off. She told us to take him right then, if we wanted to. If we wanted to think about it, I could call her the next day. If things weren't working with our other dog, then please do call her and she'd take him back and keep looking for a permanent home for him. I took him in my arms, we stopped by PetCo on the way home, purchased a collar, and brought him home.

He was a little standoffish of Swarley at first, probably because of his initial experience with a bigger dog, but within minutes, everything seemed completely fine. More than fine, really. Swarley was happy, he was excited, and animated. He had never seemed happier, actually.

A few hours later, we had named him. Roscoe. It is the name I wanted to name Swarley, but I gave in to B's preference (because he had given in to my preference for Swarley over another dog at the shelter that he preferred). Fair's fair. Plus, it was my birthday. So my name choice trumps.

Later that night, he jumped on our bed about a trillion times. Enough times to make us give up and let him -- we are not let your dog sleep in the bed people, so it looks like we'll at least have something to work on!

MILP #349, week ending in June 1st

Back to rounding things up once again!

Alice in wonderland focuses on Noah.

But I do and her family fall in love with America's most tropical destination... DE. No, really! It looked awesome.

CP reveals Blue Frosting!

Magic Cookie heads to Brown for her 15th Reunion!

Cowgirl in the City passed the bar, got sworn in, and is now on the hunt for the elusive "real job". (I'm still looking for mine...)

Grace translates some Lis converations. Cucumber, I'm totally stealing that one!

Kate breaks up bar study logs with some dog time.

LL makes some food, and puts baby in a corner pen.

Mommy Madness hits up some museums, "farms" and doctor's offices.

RG finds some adorable matching outfits for her three, as one does with three boys.

The Queen of Hats gets some help dealing with elephants, in a skirt.

Perfect Yellow Yolk hopes for the best and posts a store that I have yet to read, since it comes with a weeping warning. We're all crossing our fingers for your little chick! (Get it? Because you're an Egg?? I'm clever.)

Daisy, JD has dubbed this the summer of slaw. I personally think slaw is underrated, and fully support this endeavor.

kderoll has trouble keeping clothes on. Or, Blue Jay does. I say, embrace the nudity. Not helpful?

The weekly Mothers in the Legal Profession Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis at Butterflyfish, Grace, BJJ, Law, and Living, Mommy and the Sin City, Magic Cookie, The Reluctant Grownup, and Perspectives from a Hard Boiled Egg.

If you would like your blog to be included in this Roundup, pleases email any of the above mentioned hostesses! Magic Cookie's got it next.