Thursday, October 20, 2011

In Another Life

Yesterday, I found out that a "cousin" of mine, we'll call her Amy, who is 22, is pregnant. (I use quotes around cousin because we grew up together - her older sister was in my wedding - but we're not technically cousins according to American standards, but totally are according to Filipino standards). It was a total accident. She has been with her boyfriend for 5 months, and she's... 4 1/2 months pregnant, but didn't find out until last week. I don't want to get into the whole how could she not know she was pregnant for that long and how awesome is it that you're basically going through half a pregnancy, but I should at least mention it in passing as I eventually get to my point. Now, she's happy about it, and her boyfriend is happy about it, and she doesn't know it yet, but her boyfriend is going to propose to her on Christmas Eve (he's in the military and is currently in Afghanistan, so he's away until then).

I tried to picture myself in her position, and how different my life would be if I had accidentally gotten pregnant as soon as B and I started dating. I think, much like Amy and her boyfriend, B and I would have 1) raised the baby together, and 2) gotten engaged. I would have had an infant for my 3L year, and I would have had a toddler when I was sitting for the bar exam. But, I think it would have worked out. One of my favorite things to do is to think back on those first few months. B and I spent so much time together, talked for hours, took long walks, and all those wonderful things that you do with someone new, someone special. Except for a *tiny* bit of drama I caused in the first two weeks of dating, everything was perfect (Quickly: My college bf and I broke up about a month before B and started dating - and about two weeks after our first date, my ex decided he had wanted to get back together, I made a good decision but agonized for a few days). Amy dogsat for us this summer (right around the time she got pregnant, come to think of it!), and she told me about this guy she had started dating, how different things were, how even though it had only been a few weeks, she felt like she this was It. I think about those first few months, and I don't think my relationship (or my life) would have been ruined if I had gotten pregnant right away. I imagine that those few months of blissful dating might actually be enhanced by knowing that no matter what happened, we would always be linked to one another.

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm just thinking this way because I really like Amy, and I hope that everything works out for the best for her. Maybe I want her to know that someone is excited for her, even though her family is less than thrilled. But I really do believe that if Amy and her boyfriend are compatible, everything will be just fine.

B and I joked last night that if this had happened to us, we'd have a 4 year old.

1 comment:

  1. Congrats to Amy! I knew right away that DM was the one and DM and I said if I got pregnant we would just have the baby since we knew we would get married some day. I can't imagine how peeved my traditional Indian parents would have been though! I liked how you talked about the time getting to know each other! It is so true. Those moment are so precious!