Sunday, October 30, 2011

God Help Me (aka I Need A Xanax)

Please tell me I am not the only one, or else no one reading this will ever understand.

Does anyone else have "that person?" The person who for some reason you attempt to maintain a friendship with even though deep down they really, really, REALLY bug you?

Mine is the wife of a long-time friend of my husband. We started out close. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding. But as soon as I got pregnant (which was only 1.5 months later) the relationship started to go downhill. She entered what I can only honestly chalk up to a midlife crisis, turned into someone I no longer recognize, and she started to disapprove of everything I did. Not only that, but she was vocal about it. And in this world of social media, vocal can be VERY VOCAL. The whole world was able to read her snubs.

During the pregnancy she started by accusing me of being too lazy and made it known she didn't agree with my doctors' orders and recommendations for moderate to low activity. (She was starting her research and interest in Eastern Medicine at the time, coincidentally.) Then she accused me of being a bad friend because I wasn't spending as much time with her. (Um, yeah, what about low activity and rest do you not understand?)

**Of course when my heart failed and the doctors were proved correct in that resting as much as I did probably saved my life and the baby's life, there was no apology, but that's another story, or is it?**

Enter her complaints after my son was born-- the first time I wanted to get a babysitter, she accused me of being a bad mother and told me that I should want to spend literally every waking moment with my baby. Never mind the fact that in my pre-baby days we went out with her and her husband often and they never seemed to mind getting their own son a sitter.

Since then, there have been "vocalizations," aka facebook comments, texts, etc. (she actually never wants to actually speak to or face me, now that I think about it...hmmm...) that I don't eat properly, I [continue] to not mother properly, I'm always sick (um, can you say heart condition?) the list goes on and on.

This doesn't even include her own status updates and article links on what she believes is right and wrong. There was the one that states children should never be sleep scheduled because it destroys the parental bond, another about how her child's behavioral problems are to be blamed on food additives. (God forbid she actually discipline him once, right?)

The point of my rant?


Sorry, I don't even know why all of the above is in capitols. It's just been one of those nights. Tonight, she "scolded" me for the fact I let me child eat GASP! WHITE FLOUR! aka Cheerios while he was sick. Because she saw me mention it on Facebook.

Gah. Argh. I literally cannot stand her. Ridiculously enough I actually thought HARD about that Facebook status and what she would think if she read it before I even posted it! For that reason I conveniently failed to mention my own eating of a dish of nachos while I was nursing the cold my son and I experienced together. Little did I think she could actually find fault in my son eating CHEERIOS!

What the hell?

Yet I think I know the answer as to why I continue to try so hard to maintain a decent relationship. Why I let myself be her doormat. Like I stated, her husband is my husband's friend. So it's not just as easy as dismissing her and not being friends anymore. I will see her. And even if the guys' friendship waned, (which it has a bit, not because of us girls, I swear, but because my husband is busy being a new dad) she would still be in my social circle because she and her husband are good friends with Ty's Godparents. (Remember the wedding mention at the beginning of this post? Our wedding party was the six of us--me, Romeo, this couple I'm ranting about, and Ty's Godparents who are still are dear friends.)

Sigh, I'm done. I've got no more. No more to say. And honestly? No more to give this B!^@#.

Time for a Xanax and bed. Gee, hope she doesn't read this, if white flour is bad for our bodies, how bad must Xanax be? :)

P.S. Don't worry, I do in all honesty know chemicals aren't wonderful. Or actually, maybe go ahead and worry, because I know that, but right now I don't care. Because I'm still gonna take one. :P


  1. Oh, I know about this, but mine is slightly different. Its a sorority sister who got engaged and married the same time as me, and she subtly wants to compete about everything from what our husbands make (although I don't feel the need to volunteer that) to the size of houses or rings and GPA's. Everything, even though I truly don't care. I am not competitive and a total doormat because I don't want to be rude, but DM just doesn't get why I still want to oblige her demands to do coffee/dinner where I come home with a rant and frustrated every time! *Sigh* I actually really like her otherwise, but I don't know how long I can handle this other side of her...

  2. This is a classic toxic person. There are things in every situation that you can and cannot control. Here, you can't control bitchface's actions, but you can control their role in your life. She comments on your FB status? You delete! You'll feel so satisfied clicking that "x" and if she notices? Bonus! You've sent a passive aggressive message.

  3. Yeah, BeeBeeZfa, Romeo just doesn't understand either. He says if I can't stand her so much, just break ties. And I just look at him and stare, like 1) Don't you want to remain friends with the husband? and 2) Your friendship aside, it's just not that easy! I think women have a harder time in general breaking ties than men do. It might go back to being kids, when boys get in fights, they just punch each other and move on. Little girls have new friends and ex-friends every day and friendship statuses vary by the day sometimes.

    I just don't know what to do anymore. But I do agree Frenchie, I need to somehow, however it is, stop letting her control me. And passive agressive might be my only option, or at least my first option for right now.