Senior Pet Worries

My Dad and I got our first dog when I was just around 1, in the Philippines, where dogs did not have the same status as they have always had in the Western world. There are tons of baby pictures of me smiling delightedly with Snoopy, a mutt that looked somewhat like a Basenji. When we moved to Thailand, he lived with my Uncle, but always recognized us when we came to visit.

Since then, I've always either had a dog, or desperately wanted a dog. Just a couple of years after getting our next dog, Mitsy, my family became a two-dog household, bringing in Chloe the Beagle. After Mitsy passed away, we immediately adopted Swarley.

Now, Chloe is turning 14 next month. She's been sick since she was 10. She has Cushing's disease, which means that she has a tumor on her pituitary gland that causes her to produce too much adrenal hormone (this is probably totally wrong -- she's got a tumor on some gland that causes too much of some hormone). Basically, it means that she makes a whole lot of urine and there's something wrong with her liver. She drinks tons of water and pees a lot. She takes very expensive medication that costs us over $60 to refill, and we've been filling it for four years. We get funny looks at Walmart, because who would spend this much on medication for their dog. I ask you, who wouldn't? If you dog will DIE without it, you will find the $60 somewhere. She started out on a small dose of the medication, so that $60 refill used to last three months, but now has to be refilled more and more often.

We know that her current dose is probably no longer strong enough, because her urine production has increased, a lot. She's become somewhat incontinent. Sometimes, we've noticed that she's sleeping in a wet bed - because she just couldn't hold it. We try to be as diligent as possible, taking her out as regularly as possible when we're home with her. But now, that isn't enough.

We don't really know what to do. Taking her to the vet means doing a re-evaluation test of her current dosage. That test costs upwards of $500. We feel like awful people, but we're not sure that spending that much on a 14 year old dog is worth it. How much time could she really have left? And what if that test doesn't determine anything? We'll have spent that $500 for more of the same, more waiting and wondering what to do next.

We know that she still has a couple months in her. She can't control her urine, that's true, but that seems like a bad, lazy reason to make the decision. Other than that, she doesn't seem to be in any pain. She's grumpy, but she's been grumpy since before her Cushing's diagnosis, and well before she even hit double age digits. She's not interested in much, she sleeps, she eats, she sniffs around. It's tough though, having a pet that is becoming ancient. What's worse is that often times, B and I resent her. Resent her for having to constantly clean up after her. I do dog laundry more often than baby laundry! When we renewed our lease, they told us to call and schedule our carpet cleaning. I silently told myself that I would wait until... well, until they won't immediately be stained by our incontinent dog.

The issue at this point is how do you know when you're supposed to make the decision? When we made the decision for Mitsy, we were way too late. She was already so far gone, that I can't believe we waited that long. I very consciously do not want to make that same mistake. We did too much to try to help, too much to extend what was obviously already an uncomfortable life. But Mitsy's degeneration was quick. She lost the use of her back limbs, and we had time then. Time to take her to physical therapy, to walk her around the neighborhood in her sling. So far, the only real issue Chloe is having is that she can't hold her pee. She's showing signs of old age, of weakness, of grumpiness, but those aren't factors in my mind. Maybe sometime those will become issues, but right now, it feels like we're in a terrible state of limbo. Knowing that there isn't progress to be made, but knowing that we aren't at place where we can make any decisions. And the toughest part is trying to know when it's too early, and when it's too late.

Two nights sleep forward, one night back.

Before I jump in to my chosen topic, let me just address Juliet's night. That sucks. Your apartment complex seems so safe, but maybe now they'll learn to actually shut those gates! Our apartment complex neighbors may not be the classiest bunch, but I have never felt unsafe. We did hear a nice screaming fight in the middle of the night a few times, but I don't think any cops were called. I tried my darndest to eavesdrop, but it wasn't dangerous. Those neighbors have since moved out. I'll make sure we refasten the pepper spray to my key chain -- you never know.

Now, at the risk of sounding trite... I was up until all hours of the night too! But for very different reason. A hint as to the culprit: chunky thighs, can stand without holding on to anything, and no teeth. (I have chunky thighs, but I also have teeth, so guess again!)

This weekend, Mia slept through the night. On Saturday night, she slept from her usual bedtime of 8:30 until around 7 the next morning. B forcibly graciously woke up with her and let me sleep in. By the time I manged to get myself out of bed to make our weekly sunday breakfast (this week: Filipino breakfast. Fried rice, bacon and eggs.) Mia was wide awake and very happy. She refused to go down for a morning nap, which I was very much insisting on so that Mia didn't give our friends a hard time while we went to see THE HUNGER GAMES. She refused, but at least slept the 15 minutes it took to get to their house in her carseat, so reports that she continued to be friendly and fun were perhaps not fabricated.

Let me diverge for a moment to say The Hunger Games movie was excellent, and it definitely lived up to the hype (both created by my head and, you know... everyone else). It was by far my favorite first installment of a major book series to movie adaptation. My only other comparisons are really Harry Potter and Twilight, but still. In my opinion, the first Hunger Games book is the best of the trilogy, unlike the Harry Potters which only get better and better and better. B policy is not to read fiction, so he hadn't read the books, but the story is so exciting, I just knew he would love the story. He did. He immediately snatched up my Kindle when we got home and started reading. (He did the same thing when we came back from watching Half Blood Prince) He has spent the past two evenings ignoring me and making me ridiculously jealous that he is getting to read them for the first time. But I enjoyed the movie immensely, and I am so mad at myself for downing a movie theatre medium Diet Coke during the previews and needing to go peeeeee when they announced the training scores.

Anyway.

No sleep. Right. Mia slept for about an hour while we were out at the Hunger Games, and then nada once we got home. But, that gave us a second night in a row of sleeping through the night. This time, she went down at 8 and woke up at 8. For this Mama taking her extra day off on Monday, it was quite the treat. But, it was not to last.

Yesterday, Mia went down at 8, as usual. But, just as we were settling down to bed around 11, she woke up. She settled down, and just as I was finally falling asleep around midnight, she woke up again. And again. And again. Finally, at 1:30, I tried to lay down with her on the guest bed in her bedroom, but she just wanted to hang out. She was doing all her tricks. Clapping! Giving me a big open-mouthed kiss on the cheek! Playing peekaboo with the sheets! Trying to put her pacifier in my mouth! We did this until 3, when I couldn't handle it anymore and woke B up. They were up together for about 10 minutes, and finally, she was out. I, of course, took another 30 minutes to settle back down.

I am so not used to getting less than 6 hours of sleep.

Last Night

Have you ever experienced a moment where your reality was, maybe not shattered, but definitely shaken?  Last night was one of those for me.  Romeo, Tybalt and I are fine and safe.  And as far as I can tell by nosing around our apartment complex today in the daylight (I put Tybalt in his stroller to "go get the mail"), everyone else is too.  I can't guarantee that last fact, but I didn't see like any body outline in chalk or anything, so I'm at least 75% sure.  If anyone was hurt they left the premises alive, let's say that.  Don't know who they are or where they are now, but it doesn't appear that anyone was seriously injured.

I guess the reason I'm so shaken is that 1) All of this is new to me--I grew up in the Chicago suburbs, not like an inner-city "bad" area by any means, not the richest part, but middle class suburbs.  And since I've lived in Las Vegas, I've been able to live in almost all good areas.  There was only one "shady" area I lived in a few years ago with a roommate before marriage and family.  But if I didn't feel safe there, I wouldn't have chosen to get an apartment there.  And 2) It's completely unexpected--Because right now, Romeo and I are in the safest of all the places we've been.  We live in what anyone would consider a "good" or "nice" part of town.  Which is just south of what most people consider the "swanky" and "best" part of town.

You're probably going, "Whoa, Juliet, back that up...WHAT?"

I'll leave my middle of the night note typing to speak for itself.  (The following does not have perfect punctuation, which you know I hate doing to you, but it's REAL.)  Here is what I started typing around 1am as I was reflecting on the last few hours, and was *about* to post on facebook as a status, but realized I probably shouldn't.  I did copy and paste it though so I could save it and use it here for your entertainment and enjoyment.  *She nervously laughs.*

So now, "Mommy And The Sin City" Theatre Presents...LAST NIGHT:

"Can't sleep. 10:30'ish pm: I happen to hear two men yelling. Figure it's drunk tenants in the parking lot. A little later hear what sounded like a manual garage door and thought it was weird someone was going into their storage so late at night. 11:41pm: Polite but extremely late knock on our front door. Freak out cuz [Romeo] says he sees cops through peephole. He answers and they are asking if he heard anything because there was a shooting by the apartment pool. (Which is next to our building.) [Romeo] didn't because he was out grocery shopping but I piece what I heard together with what the officer is saying. Officers tape off our entire building/breezeway area from our porch to our rear neighbor's porch which is the other end of the building and next to said pool. 12:15am: Different cop now BANGS on door to wake us up in case we were sleeping. (Yeah, right!) I answer this time and he asks if I heard anything. Then asks who lives with me and if we are all okay, because a shooting happened and bullet went through our rear neighbor's wall! Rear neighbors, as in--we share a wall with these people! 1:09am: Cop car circling complex slowly, using searchlights.

Update: 1:40am: Every little noise, creek, light through window, etc. is creeping me out and scaring me to death. Police tape still up. Have seen so many cops around the property in the last 2 hours I can't count. One is walking breezeway outside front door with flashlight. SUV (unmarked cop car?) is parked at red zone curb right outside my ground level bedroom window. Plain clothes cop (detective?) was heard knocking on upstairs neighbor's door. Saw him walk with neighbor downstairs and neighbor is now gesturing to where he saw/heard things right outside my porch/bedroom window."

And the only things I should add:

A little before 3am I did hear the SUV's doors close--three of them I think, so multiple detectives/cops/officers, and the engine started and it drove off.  By the time Romeo left for work this morning at 7:15am the police tape was gone.  And like I said, at about 3:00pm today I got up the nerve to take Tybalt out and walk around.  No sign of like a murder or victim, so who knows what really happened and if anybody was hurt or if it was gunfire without a victim (I'd like to think so, I guess that would be the best outcome at least), but there were 7-8 police evidence "marks" (they look like post-its with arrows) on my rear neighbor's wall. It would be their living room wall and living room windowsill.  They mark 2-4 bullet holes and the rest are paint chips (where maybe bullets grazed?) !!!  I didn't have time to "snoop" and do exact counts, but you get the gist.

Man, I wonder what happened and if we'll ever really know...

How to make friends, as a grown up.

I've had this conversation with a few different people. Do people really make new friends, as adults? Thinking back, I don't think I've ever managed to make friends, great sit-around-and-do-nothing-having-a-great-time frends outside of school. Do these kinds of friends even exists, in the grown-up world? Or are we too old, spread too thin, too tired?
I'm still very close with the friends I made in school. My High School friends all just saw each other a couple of weeks ago in California. We fell right into things, as if nothing had changed. As if we had just seen each other a couple of weeks ago (albeit with more enthusiasm), rather than over a year ago. There were five of us. We called ourselves "the Group" (technically, the Group included more than just us 5, but those other satelites fell off). We passed around "the Book" on school days, where we wrote to each other. Not mean-girls style, but more of a group note-writing book. We were a pretty tame group of high school girls. No drinking, no drugs, no boys. We just... went over to each other's houses every weekend, ate junk food, watched movies and talked. We never lost touch. During college, we came back with our separate experiences every summer, and fell right back into our old, comfortable, safe interactions with each other. We shook things up a bit during those summers, bringing a bit of alcohol into the mix.
In college, I was really lucky to find something very similar. Within the first day, I met the girl who ended up being the Maid of Honor at my wedding. I love thinking back on our first interaction, when we were sitting in a pretty big group and L initiating an ice-breaker of "So, what's the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you? Mine was definitely sleeping with Johnny." To say this shocked my (see above) virgin ears is an understatement, but she was funny. Somehow, I fell into this big group of girls. There were 6 girls, all living on the same floor of the dorm next door to mine, and I somehow became part of ther circle. The 6 girls quickly divided into two groups: the group that liked beer, and the group that didn't. I was part of the group that didn't. We brought in a 4th - a girl down the hall who we had often seen talking in the stairwell about how she hadn't managed to make any friends yet. J was also part of my wedding. The four of us roomed next to each other the following year, breaking off completely from the rest of the intial group. The four of us decided that we would go through Sorority Recruitment, and join whichever houses we wanted. That it wouldn't matter, we'd all stay friends. As things turned out, only one joined a different house, and of course, we grew apart as we all got more and more involved.

From Sophomore to Senior year, my little group evolved, some came in, some left. By the time senior year rolled around, we were set. The original three from Freshman year, plus a forth, awesome addition. We shared an apartment, threw parties, got v-cards punched, and basically had the best year, ever. When we graduated, we saw each other yearly. The three others all stayed in New York State, and I was jealous, but it was fine. Just like my high school friends, everything would fall right back into place when we saw each other again. A couple of years ago, we were spoiled. Two of us were getting married, and we saw each other so many times for the various events, it was awesome. One got engaged over Christmas, and hopefully C will follow soon. We'll have those excuses again!
That post title is misleading. This was never going to be a "how to" on making friends. It's more of a question. How DO you make friends, as an adult? I think I may have had the wrong expectations for adulthood. After having groups of friends in my earlier stages of life, I pictured that I would have another group as an adult. Like in Friends, or How I Met Your Mother. We'd hang out at each other's apartments after work, we'd always have dinner together, like we did in college. But maybe those groups don't happen in real life. What's real is your husband, your daughter, your job. Life is already full with those three things, what else can I possibly expect to pack in?

"Yeah Boooooyyy!"

I love Las Vegas. But what has come of my wonderful town when jumbo-sized-clock-necklaces-wearing-rapper Flavor Flav has opened up his own take out fried chicken restaurant?!?! And it's called, you guessed it-- Flavor Flav's House of Flavor. On top of that, what has my home life come to that my hubs, Romeo says he would definitely like to check it out!?!?

http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/VlnOGlkwsWaWqyzDxvMMMA?select=ynb0QoBJK17zuA56GtMEMA

On top of the ludicrous idea, I have heard the following: it is getting high praise on Yelp.com and supposedly because the chicken is great--not just the hype and celebrity worship, Flav really does work at the store and cook, two large intimidating men stand guard and only let about two customers in at a time and then the door is locked behind you, there are no set hours of operations (at least for this grand opening period), and they open when Flav reports to the restaurant, and close when they are either out, have a problem with cooking supplies or ingredients (like substandard fry oil one night), or just when they "are done."

His catch phrase is "Yeah Booooyyyyy!" Right?

I give this an "Oh Booooooyyyyy..."

To Gym or not to Gym?

My office's new location is right across the street from a big big big gym. Membership there is not expensive, especially compared to the gym membership that I had during law school in Chicago. At the time, I paid about $80 a month for a membership. It was nice, but basic. Cardio equipment, weights, a few group classes, pilates and a locker room. The one across the street from my office (with a location about a 3 minute drive from my apartment) is $31 per month and a 25 month commitment, which can be broken if I lose my job or move away from Vegas. It's cheaper without childcare, but if I can't have childcare, then I'll just work out at our terrible apartment complex gym for free.

I had thought about joining last summer, but just ruled it out as something that I might not take full advantage of. This time, I feel that since I've actually been working out regularly with DVDs and Netflix at home, that I am physically ready to take advantage of a gym. This gym is nice, too. It's got indoor pools, sauna, steam rooms, lots and lots of cardio and weight machines, lots and lots of group classes at all times of the day, racketball courts (not that I would use them - I play tennis and squash) and a running track. The membership gives you access to six locations throughout the valley, so even if we were to move (please, I want to move!) we'd likely still be close to a location.

I kind of want to do it. $31 a month really isn't much, I just hate committing to paying for something for that long. Should I join? What do you think?

Bueller? Bueller?

Yes. I am present. Sorry for the long absence there!

The Bachelorette Weekend/Mommy Vacation was everything I expected, and even more epic (something I can say without a pang of guilt and hangover now that it's more than a week ago). Despite getting majorly intoxicated on Saturday night and having a painful four hour drive home by myself (made only tolerable by my wonderful husband putting the Hunger Games audiobook on my iPhone to keep me company - my second "reading"), I managed to come home feeling refreshed and very very happy to squeeze my baby in my arms. Everything was beautiful. The beachfront condo's ocean view was only slightly interrupted by paddle tennis courts, which I gather to be a strange hybrid between real, actual tennis and ping pong. Venice Beach itself was colorful and interesting, with the seemingly permanent scent of weed wafting through the windows and I accidentally (purposely) left my bathing suit at home, so I stuck to the boardwalk with its dozens of taco stands and souvenir shops.

On Saturday morning we all piled into an enormous hummer limo and took a winding and mountainous drive up the malibu coast. What did not occur to those of us organizing the activities was that the combination of winding roads and sideways limo sitting would give about 80% of our party carsickness, but we finally did all arrive at destination with only threats of grossness and everyone thought the ride was worth it. Although the wine left something to be desired (my opinion), the winery itself was so beautiful and pleasant that it really didn't matter. We were up high on a hill overlooking vines and mountains and our whole party managed to snag a whole section of adirondack chairs to relax in. We all got a little sun and and everyone had the chance to catch up and get to know one another. All of our celebrant's "groups" (high school, college, law school and family) managed to blend together well, and everyone got along and had a great time. Saturday night was very alcohol heavy (for some of us) and ended with a few grown up women reliving their college days in the bathroom. I think these kinds of things are such a great way for everyone attending a wedding to get to know each other beforehand, and this was no exception. I'm even more excited to head out to Chicago for the wedding in just a few weeks, and see everyone again! (Missed you, LL!!) Happily, I was not the only Mom there, but I was the only Mom who felt the need to relive her college days.

I came home to a sick baby, through no real fault of her Papa's. I took her to the pediatrician a couple of days later when it didn't seem like she was getting any better. It turns out, she's got strep and is on her 4th day of antibiotics. She really started feeling much better after a couple of days. Luckily, my office did not complete its move on time, and our internet and my desk was not yet in its proper place, so I got to work from home all of last week. Mia got to convalesce in her own room and crib, and I got to stay in my yoga pants all day. We were briefly afraid that B and I both had strep too (our pediatrician took a quick look at both our throats and sent us immediately to the minute clinic next door to get tested), but our mutual 20 minutes of illness was just psychosomatic, and we were both completely clear and told to take allergy medicine. Despite an unfortunate incident of hot oil splattering and burning the left side of my face and ear (it's not as bad as it sounds, I have two small burns on my jaw line and two tiny burns on my ear), we managed to have an uneventful end of the week

By Sunday, everyone was feeling well enough to bundle up in this 50 degree Las Vegas weather and brave the not so cold Cubs spring training game. Every year, our beloved Cubs (I lived 3 blocks from Wrigley back in the Chi) play a weekend at Cashman Field. We went last year when I was hugely pregnant and hugely hot, and this year we returned with our almost 10 month old in tow, completely covered in fleece. It was still fun though, and although Mia did not look at the field once, she did manage to make a few friends. The game was as every spring training game is - not exciting - but Jake Pavelka (the Bachelor 2 seasons ago, as I had to explain to everyone in the seats around us) did come and throw out the first pitch, which was certainly worth the ticket price.

Today, I am back to the realities of working in an office, which I did manage to miss a little in my weeklong work at home stint. I am about halfway unpacked, and I was only slightly annoying asking our two men of the office to please turn my desk just one more time. I have to briefly mention that Mondays are no longer my favorite day of the week since the Bachelor is over and the Bachelorette doesn't start up until MAY, I will try to get by and make sure that I start scheduling other fun things to look forward to. This week, on Thursday another installment of Wine Tasting with Grown ups, when Juliet Cap and I leave our kiddos with our husbands and drink (and learn about) some vino!

Thank You

I'm here. I exist. I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I'm just struggling with my situation still and honestly haven't felt up to writing. But I wanted to say thank you for the comments and support. They are all very much appreciated. I am trying to take advice and remember my worth in the face of adversity.

I am also thankful for a place I can be [sometimes brutally] honest and for other moms, women, readers, followers, and friends who allow me to be so and accept me even when I'm feeling so low--just as I am and for who I am.

The Sleep Wars Cease-Fire

I'd like to say that the Sleep Wars have ended, but I do not feel comfortable until I see Mia sign a treaty. But, we are ever so grateful for the cease-fire that we seem to currently be experiencing. I wrote in Mia's 9 month update just about two weeks ago that our biggest difficulty was sleep. Well, after asking for our pediatrician's advice at her visit the following Monday, we finally had a break through.

Our pediatrician said that she thought it most likely had to do with Mia's return to her own room coinciding with the beginnings of separation anxiety. Mia had been showing signs of it during the last few weeks of my Mother's stay. She'd scream if I didn't go straight to her when I came through the door from work. My reassurances of just washing my hands before I held her being for her own good did nothing to appease her, fancy that. But, our pediatrician said to just... be there until she settles herself down. Not terribly complicated advice.

Put her down for the night, after a bedtime routine, and just... sit there. We brought in a chair, I'd put her down and just sit right next to her, checking facebook on my phone. Once she was calm, I would pat her, tell her goodnight, and walk out of the room. We were told to do this in the middle of the night, also. Simple instruction, but a much more difficult execution in the middle of the night. B and I had two very very sleepless nights in a row, taking turns. On the third night, she woke up once, but fell back asleep once I bundled her up and stuck a pacifier in her mouth. On the fourt night... she. slept. all. night. (B's turn, of course)

Now, at bedtime, I put her down in her crib while she's wide awake witout protest. She snuggles her fuzzy little bear that I rediscovered when I did some reorganizing of her room, and puts herself to sleep. She still usually wakes up at night, but she's just hungry. She eats, and falls right back asleep. B and I are still not getting 6-7 hours straight, but this is definitely progress. She even naps - in the exact same way. Once she seems sleepy, I put her down in a quiet room with a stuffed animal and she sleeps. SLEEPS. At work, at home, in the car, whatever. She sleeps. Progress makes for much MUCH happier parents. With the sleep problem (currently) at bay, it seems like everything else she does is infinitely more adorable, too.

Watch, during her Daddy-weekend, she'll sleep through the night.

The Most Baby Friendly Office, Ever.

Note: Two posts in one day! Am I feeling okay? Yes. I had this post started aaaaages ago, and just finished it. So, yes two posts published in the same day, but not written in the same day.

Since my Mom left us to go back to China, Mia and I are back to our old routine of what I've affectionately dubbed as Parenting from Work. It was a difficult transition, from Mia being taken care of at home full time for three months, to going back to the office three to five times a week. She went from getting attention 100% of the time to being expected to entertain herself for as many hours in the day as possible.

Now that we've been back at it for about a month, Mia and I have developed quite a groove. She's happy to come to the office in the mornings, and give all her co-workers an enthusiastic gummy grin. They pass her around for the first twenty minutes, and I get a chance to get my email and set my days to-do list before she gets dropped back off from doing her morning rounds.

Luckily, now that Mia is at nine months, she's very mobile. At first, when I started this whole Parent from Work thing, I envisioned her increasing mobility as a problem. When we first started this whole thing, she'd just be happy in her bouncy chair, or being held on my lap or on the desk with a pacifier. Now, my office is like a baby war-zone. At first, I imagined that she would just stay in her bouncy chair or in her pack n play. But, I've now moved on to just letting her roam around my office. All the wires are picked up and tucked back to where she cannot get to them. She has found (and I've thrown away) every stray paperclip, staple and tiny piece of paper, so the office floor is clean. We've got a blanket set up on the floor, and a bunch of toys strewn about. The shoes two pairs of shoes that I used to keep tucked in the corner are now to be found on opposite sides of the room. During her morning "rounds" she collects things and brings them back. At the moment, we've got a bright blue plastic cup and an empty two liter bottle of 7up. Apprently, my baby prefers to play with garbage over bonafide baby toys.

I brought in a slew of baby items. We bought a second bouncy center, where I can put her if I need to leave the room and need her to stay contained. I have a pack 'n play set up in the corner, where she has finally learned to nap, and I use the bumbo chair with the tray as a high chair in the lunch room. Thankfully, I have an extremely supportive office and everyone is willing to give me a hand. There is always someone willing to usher her out of the room if I have to make an important phone call, or sit in on a meeting.

Things have only gotten better in terms of being able to do this. Now that I don't constantly have to have her in my arms, or strapped into the moby wrap to keep her happy, I am able to get a lot more actual work done during the day. I have not yet had to bring anything back home with me since we've gone back to this Parenting from Work schedule. I know that eventually, she's going to eventually need to go to daycare. Mia will start to need to socialize, and will benefit from structured play and learning. But for now, she gets plenty of attention, and I get to be with her all day long. Hopefully, we can pull this Parent from Work thing off for at least a few more months.

Countdown to Mommy-cation!

Mommy-cation = Mommy Vacation

Four working days, counthing this one which is halfway over, separate me and my first vacation from being a Mommy. Also standing in the way: one research memo, and packing up my desk, bookshelf and files for our accross town office move. But that's it! I am getting up very early morning on Friday and driving the four hours to L.A. to spend the weekend enjoying my four best friends from high school, wine, dancing and general bachelorette girls weekend activities!

We are staying at a condo on Venice beach. Some people are staying up to 4 nights - unfortunately I could only pull off two nights away from the Mia, but I definitely enjoy those two nights. On the agenda for Friday is sitting on the balcony and staring at the beach with a margarita in hand. Being in charge of the purchasing the alcohol for the weekend, I will be making a margarita mix from scratch to bring and mix with tequila at the last minute. Our celebrant also enjoys margaritas, so I'm not being entirely selfish here!

On Saturday, all 14 girls ages 22-30 will be piling into a limo (a hummer - unfortunately, I was hoping that we'd find a Prius limo in California, but you know) and driving around Malibu for wine tastings. Our celebrant is a wine afficionado, so this is also not selfish. On Saturday night, we'll be having a lingerie shower in lieu of a traditional toasters and blenders shower, and then, we're off for a night of dancing and drinks at a nearby bar. To make sure we are all very L.A., we've reserved bottle service. I'm really very excited to take part in a weekend of indulgence and fun. Forgive the Bridesmaids (the movie) reference here, but I am so the older blonde lady who just wants to cut the tags off the tube top she purchased.

I haven't been part of a wedding party for two wedding seasons, and my days as a single girl going out on the weekends are also long gone, so my party skills are pretty rusty. The wedding is in May back in Chicago, and the first of my high school friends' weddings. K was one of my bridesmaids and apparently one of the most involved in planning my showers and parties, so I am thrilled to be a part of hers, and I want to make sure to return the favor and make sure she has a grand time.

Tick Tick Tick

Tick Tick Tick Tick.

I feel like a prisoner on death row. It's happening. There's no avoiding it.

It's 2:31 in the morning. I can't sleep. And it makes me wonder how death row inmates have any appetite for that last meal, because I feel like I'm going to puke.

And I'm not dying! I *only* have to deal with my FIL. (P.S. Which adds to my stress and guilt, because really in all sanity I have no right comparing my situation to losing your life, yet here I am doing it. Sigh...)