Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thanks For Your Patience
I exist. Just have had a crazy schedule with some doctor and legal stuff. And I know for all you MILP's "legal stuff" is everyday. But not for this stay at home mommy. So prepping for it (aka working myself up over it) sent me into a reclusive tailspin. I hope to be able to post more when I'm past a bit of it.
I'm also having an outpatient procedure done for my lower back as well as bed sore pain, tomorrow, Thursday morning. This means there will be a 50/50 shot I think that while Frenchie is enjoying a nice vacay I can pick up my slack and write a bit. In scenario "A," If I'm feeling good but lying around while Tybalt is at MIL's because of my restrictions, I should have time to write. But if there are any hiccups in the procedure (I've never done this one before) and I feel miserable or horribly doped/high on pain meds, trust me it's best for us all if I don't wrote in that which we call scenario "B."
The first step is admitting you have a problem
Guys, I'm addicted.
Addicted to Emily Maynard's clothes, jewelry, and accessories.
It's embarrassing. But, I'm thinking of cutting myself off from my laptop (whether my work one, or my home one) for the next 10 days in order to detox.
But until then, let me explain myself:
It started with the Bachelorette. Obviously, I like that show a bit too much, as I discovered from the amused/pitying look on Juliet's and our mutual friend D's when I made my best "please watch this show so that I have more people to talk to about it" pitch. I blame the margaritas. (I think I say that phrase a bit too often...)
Emily wears a lot of bracelets. Multiple bracelets, stacked on top of one another. I remember this from when she was on the Bachelor, and that was the first thing I emulated. So, I wanted some pictures of them to see if there were any I could copy. I found this:
Those are simple macrame style bracelets with one single sideways charm. I've perfected the technique using a couple of cheaper sideways charms that I found at a craft store. I think they're pretty, but they're not quite as special. I'm contemplating putting in an order for a few of these special ones, but I'm waiting to get a few more sales before purchasing more materials.
Then, she wore this dress:
And I had to know what it was. It's so beautiful! So, to Google I went. And found this my new best friend, Possessionista. (The dress, while being sold out, is probably also way out of my price range, which at the moment is Ross). Possessionista identifies clothing, jewelry, etc, worn on television. If you're ever wondering whether you can get Rachel Berry's quirky clothes, look to Possessionista for answers. She'll give them to you.
Since so much of what she wears is out of my price range, I've been keeping up with Possessionista to capture the few moments when the pieces are affordable, which, it turns out, is not that rare. Then, came this:
I had to have the ring. Dana id'ed it as an $860 rose gold ring with diamonds, but also gave us an alternative, $29 from Nordstrom.com. So... after reminding B that he had still owed me a push present (yes, 14 months after our daughter was born), two mouse clicks, and it was on its way. I've been browsing Etsy for a similar small gemstone ring to stack on top of it, but until I find the perfect one, I like it on its own just as much.
At Ross the other day, I was picking up a few non-ratty casual tops and other casual clothes, since, you know, I am going to be around adults not at the workplace, and can't very well wear my t-shirts with random oil stains, spilled milk, and whatever else Mia may have thrown on me. As I was perusing the aisles of discount clothes, each time I picked something out, I found myself thinking: "Would Emily wear this?" Yikes!
I've been keeping Possessionista open in my browser ever since I discovered her. I've come close to making a couple of purchases, but a voice of reason is always in the back of my mind, reminding me that although my paychecks are on time now, I'm still mostly at 4 days a week, and we still have a weekly daycare payment to make. Plus, Emily Maynard and I do not exactly have the same body type.
Then, I was at Target yesterday, picking up some trip essentials, I passed the nail polish aisle and remembered that Dana had also id'ed that nail polish she was wearing as Essie's Fiji. They had it, one bottle left. Right next to it, a very similar color. I tried both with a quick swipe on my nails, and opted for NOT Fiji. I went home, painted my nails and although they turned out nice, they are not the same as the above pictured. I am not sure why I thought that picking the one right next to it would create a superior nail polish look -- What was I thinking questioning the exact match??
B suggested I make a new bracelet: WWEMD. What would Emily Maynard do. Seriously, I have a problem. Phew, I feel better already.
Addicted to Emily Maynard's clothes, jewelry, and accessories.
It's embarrassing. But, I'm thinking of cutting myself off from my laptop (whether my work one, or my home one) for the next 10 days in order to detox.
But until then, let me explain myself:
It started with the Bachelorette. Obviously, I like that show a bit too much, as I discovered from the amused/pitying look on Juliet's and our mutual friend D's when I made my best "please watch this show so that I have more people to talk to about it" pitch. I blame the margaritas. (I think I say that phrase a bit too often...)
Emily wears a lot of bracelets. Multiple bracelets, stacked on top of one another. I remember this from when she was on the Bachelor, and that was the first thing I emulated. So, I wanted some pictures of them to see if there were any I could copy. I found this:
Those are simple macrame style bracelets with one single sideways charm. I've perfected the technique using a couple of cheaper sideways charms that I found at a craft store. I think they're pretty, but they're not quite as special. I'm contemplating putting in an order for a few of these special ones, but I'm waiting to get a few more sales before purchasing more materials.
Then, she wore this dress:
And I had to know what it was. It's so beautiful! So, to Google I went. And found this my new best friend, Possessionista. (The dress, while being sold out, is probably also way out of my price range, which at the moment is Ross). Possessionista identifies clothing, jewelry, etc, worn on television. If you're ever wondering whether you can get Rachel Berry's quirky clothes, look to Possessionista for answers. She'll give them to you.
Since so much of what she wears is out of my price range, I've been keeping up with Possessionista to capture the few moments when the pieces are affordable, which, it turns out, is not that rare. Then, came this:
 |
| Let's not pay attention to the fact that she's crying, but instead, look at those rings and nail polish! |
At Ross the other day, I was picking up a few non-ratty casual tops and other casual clothes, since, you know, I am going to be around adults not at the workplace, and can't very well wear my t-shirts with random oil stains, spilled milk, and whatever else Mia may have thrown on me. As I was perusing the aisles of discount clothes, each time I picked something out, I found myself thinking: "Would Emily wear this?" Yikes!
I've been keeping Possessionista open in my browser ever since I discovered her. I've come close to making a couple of purchases, but a voice of reason is always in the back of my mind, reminding me that although my paychecks are on time now, I'm still mostly at 4 days a week, and we still have a weekly daycare payment to make. Plus, Emily Maynard and I do not exactly have the same body type.
Then, I was at Target yesterday, picking up some trip essentials, I passed the nail polish aisle and remembered that Dana had also id'ed that nail polish she was wearing as Essie's Fiji. They had it, one bottle left. Right next to it, a very similar color. I tried both with a quick swipe on my nails, and opted for NOT Fiji. I went home, painted my nails and although they turned out nice, they are not the same as the above pictured. I am not sure why I thought that picking the one right next to it would create a superior nail polish look -- What was I thinking questioning the exact match??
B suggested I make a new bracelet: WWEMD. What would Emily Maynard do. Seriously, I have a problem. Phew, I feel better already.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Summer Vacation Excitement Fail!
I kid you not, until about 2 minutes ago, I thought at this time next week, I would be on a plane LaGuardia bound. It's been a light at the end of the tunnel for me, a tunnel which has now just grown in length by 7 days!! Drat. It's like the opposite of waking up on a weekend morning thinking that you have to get up and get ready to go to work, only to realize that no! you can lay back down and sleeeeep! First world problems, I tell you.
This week is a rare occurrence for me since I my hours were reduced from 40 to 32: I am working all five days this week! We've actually got some legal stuff going on. I was so excited about this. Not only do I have something interesting to do other than figuring out how to remove people from the Company's insurance, but I will also get a higher paycheck! But boy, I did not realize how well-accustomed I had gotten to getting a mid-week break. I usually take my reduced-hours day to coincide with B's weekday off (He almost always works Saturdays, so they give him a weekday off), so it's usually a tuesday, wednesday or thursday. It's now thursday, and I am actually exhausted from my lack of a sitting around day. And, we have no groceries, the house is a mess, and I'm still fishing clean clothes to wear out of the dryer because I have had no time to sit down and fold it. Hmm, I guess I don't really sit around on that day after all, considering the current state of our chores. First world problems, I tell you.
My usually slow Fridays will also be replaced tomorrow by a meeting with our outside counsel who handles the litigation. I usually look forward to these; my brain feels like its exercising, reminding me that yes! you are a lawyer! you remember legal things!
So, my light at the end of the tunnel is T-14 days until my big summer vacation. Mia and I head to Connecticut for a college-roommate reunion; a couple of days with my Aunt and cousins in New Jersey, another flight for 5 days in Chicago to meet B and attend his cousin's wedding.
This week is a rare occurrence for me since I my hours were reduced from 40 to 32: I am working all five days this week! We've actually got some legal stuff going on. I was so excited about this. Not only do I have something interesting to do other than figuring out how to remove people from the Company's insurance, but I will also get a higher paycheck! But boy, I did not realize how well-accustomed I had gotten to getting a mid-week break. I usually take my reduced-hours day to coincide with B's weekday off (He almost always works Saturdays, so they give him a weekday off), so it's usually a tuesday, wednesday or thursday. It's now thursday, and I am actually exhausted from my lack of a sitting around day. And, we have no groceries, the house is a mess, and I'm still fishing clean clothes to wear out of the dryer because I have had no time to sit down and fold it. Hmm, I guess I don't really sit around on that day after all, considering the current state of our chores. First world problems, I tell you.
My usually slow Fridays will also be replaced tomorrow by a meeting with our outside counsel who handles the litigation. I usually look forward to these; my brain feels like its exercising, reminding me that yes! you are a lawyer! you remember legal things!
So, my light at the end of the tunnel is T-14 days until my big summer vacation. Mia and I head to Connecticut for a college-roommate reunion; a couple of days with my Aunt and cousins in New Jersey, another flight for 5 days in Chicago to meet B and attend his cousin's wedding.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Guilty Pleasure: Team One F Jef
You Guys. Have you been watching the Bachelorette? If so, and you haven't watched last night's Fantasy Suite episode yet, how in the world have you held out this long, stop reading this and go watch it. Well, don't. I won't give anything away from last night's episode, just the final three. If you don't watch it, you do not know the excitement you are missing. I may have been complaining the other day that my life is not exciting, but on Mondays, it's about all that this girl can take.
On Mondays, B picks Mia up from daycare so that I can get dinner started. They get home, we hang out, chat, read books and play. Then, dinner time. We eat, then usually Skype with Mom. Then, at promptly 7:45 (other days, I am flexible on her bedtime and let her tell me when she's getting tired), it's time to start our bedtime routine. Bath, pajamas, bottle, snuggle, and by 8:05, bed. I had straight to the kitchen, salt the rim of my margarita glass, pour myself some Skinny Girl and settle in for 2 hours of indulgence.
I've told you before, I'm obsessed with this show. No matter the quality of the main person, there always seem to be one or two or three awesome "contestants" that I cannot get enough of. In retrospect, I can admit that some seasons are less exciting for me, but in the moment, there is nothing that I could enjoy more than watching an episode, if I was covered in puppies, drinking margaritas and eating sushi rolls with a side of cilantro dipped in chocolate on a beach while getting my feet rubbed.
So, let's talk substance: Emily Maynard. I'll acknowledge that she was slightly boring on Brad's season, but I liked her. She's so pretty, sweet, has an awesome wardrobe that I want to steal/fit into, and is genuinely likeable to the point that viewers (at least me) will want her to be happy. This time, her excitement level hasn't picked up much, but we've gotten to know her a lot more than the others because there weren't as many distractions. Helicopters! Tightropes! Rappelling! Waterfalls! were few and far between. There was mostly a lot of walking around old castles and talking. I'm fine with it, it was still riveting.
Let's talk about the guys: the final three were not surprising. From the very beginning, it was obvious which three guys would be left standing for the overnight dates. They are all three awesome. Sean: incredibly good-looking, admittedly slightly boring. All-American hot! Similar to Emily! Arie: OMG so much charming. European-American hot! Jef: Also charming, but in a weird and quirky way. To me, he's excellent. He's too cool for normal suits, he has skinny pants suits. He probably bought them at Banana Republic when they were selling their Mad Men collection. Weird hot! I vote for Jef, but in the end, any of the three guys who do NOT get picked by Emily could be great as the next Bachelor. [I may have said that about Ben from Ashley's season -- I was totally wrong. He was awful. ABC, don't make another mistake].
What are your guilty pleasure shows?
On Mondays, B picks Mia up from daycare so that I can get dinner started. They get home, we hang out, chat, read books and play. Then, dinner time. We eat, then usually Skype with Mom. Then, at promptly 7:45 (other days, I am flexible on her bedtime and let her tell me when she's getting tired), it's time to start our bedtime routine. Bath, pajamas, bottle, snuggle, and by 8:05, bed. I had straight to the kitchen, salt the rim of my margarita glass, pour myself some Skinny Girl and settle in for 2 hours of indulgence.
I've told you before, I'm obsessed with this show. No matter the quality of the main person, there always seem to be one or two or three awesome "contestants" that I cannot get enough of. In retrospect, I can admit that some seasons are less exciting for me, but in the moment, there is nothing that I could enjoy more than watching an episode, if I was covered in puppies, drinking margaritas and eating sushi rolls with a side of cilantro dipped in chocolate on a beach while getting my feet rubbed.
So, let's talk substance: Emily Maynard. I'll acknowledge that she was slightly boring on Brad's season, but I liked her. She's so pretty, sweet, has an awesome wardrobe that I want to steal/fit into, and is genuinely likeable to the point that viewers (at least me) will want her to be happy. This time, her excitement level hasn't picked up much, but we've gotten to know her a lot more than the others because there weren't as many distractions. Helicopters! Tightropes! Rappelling! Waterfalls! were few and far between. There was mostly a lot of walking around old castles and talking. I'm fine with it, it was still riveting.
Let's talk about the guys: the final three were not surprising. From the very beginning, it was obvious which three guys would be left standing for the overnight dates. They are all three awesome. Sean: incredibly good-looking, admittedly slightly boring. All-American hot! Similar to Emily! Arie: OMG so much charming. European-American hot! Jef: Also charming, but in a weird and quirky way. To me, he's excellent. He's too cool for normal suits, he has skinny pants suits. He probably bought them at Banana Republic when they were selling their Mad Men collection. Weird hot! I vote for Jef, but in the end, any of the three guys who do NOT get picked by Emily could be great as the next Bachelor. [I may have said that about Ben from Ashley's season -- I was totally wrong. He was awful. ABC, don't make another mistake].
What are your guilty pleasure shows?
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Show me some appreciation. PLEASE!
I started to post the following on Facebook and it got way too long and personal. I must say it's late though and my eyes won't stop closing, so we'll see how long I can hold out. Anyway, it's pretty self explanatory, but if you find yourself with any questions, don't hesitate to leave a comment. Thanks! :)
"Have you ever had such a roller coaster day that ended in a plummet, not a fun uphill climb or wacky twist? And you went for support from a particular loved one but they just zoned out in their own little world? Usually its innocent enough, but I just can't take it tonight! So here's what I hope can happen to get me out of my funk:
Who in Vegas and Henderson loves sushi like I do? Join me! I am gonna waste away if I don't get a fix of 808 Sushi and it's owner Dean soon! Hopefully this weekend. Hoping for happy hour when it's cheaper. Any takers? Frenchie? B? DG? JG? (Or girls night out and boys play with the kids?) But sadly happy hour menu is just rolls and apps, and I know how you four love your Nigiri. (And I like some of it there too actually.) You could also to buy that at regular price or choose AYCE. And I mean I'm not opposed to going for regular AYCE time too. Someone just has to volunteer to call Romeo and convince him to take me out. Extol upon him my superb qualities. That I'm a wonderful wife and the best mother ever and I deserve a night out on the town, at least a night with friends and sushi. Still no luck? Let's all hang this weekend but call it a cheepo lazy ass weekend and not do much of anything but let the kids play and order cheap pizza and drink cocktails, wine, and beer, yes? No? If you can twist my hubby's arm, I can even volunteer the house for the gathering. Do you think you could try to convince my man of that? Whatever you do--penalty of death if you reveal to him that I put you up to this! But what are friends for? In my case I need them to convince my husband how f-ing great I am, all I do, and that I deserve a night of raw fish and friends. (Or at the very least board games, movies, and friends. Are we too old for a retro sleep-over? The kids could sleep in Tybalt's room!) Help me get this off the ground with him! Oh, and now that my ramble's over, really, any local LV or Henderson friends who like sushi are welcome to come and make new friends with us and enjoy good food!"
"I probably need to clarify. I love my husband more than life itself. And most times he is a saint. But sometimes he is a saint to everyone else around us and can get too busy and caught up to remember me. Today was a big scary doctor appointment for me. It ended up going better than anyone could have expected, and I thought when I told him he'd jump for joy. (This is a serious issue with my health that we have been battling together for a couple years.) Instead I got a half-ear listen as he had some action movie on the tv, volume raised to a ridiculous level for early evening.
I now expect some flack regarding venting my frustrations. (Possibly here, but a reminder this was originally a fb post and we have hundreds of mutual friends on there. I have edited the entry there but part is still up. So we shall see.. what kid of crap I have to defend on fb after this. :( ) And I could honestly see why one might berate me--He is the best guy ever--no argument there. So while I concede to take your and their comments warmly and will mull them over and not dismiss, please try to give me an equal chance and respect, keeping in mind that being his wife and son's mother is a different skill set and a whole new ride. When you live with someone 24/7 sometimes you just see things others don't. Some of those are awesome and you feel blessed that only you bear witness to the moments, and some are the nitty gritties that you just need to vent and release so that you can start fresh and anew, which of course is healthy. Romeo is a blessing from God to all in his life. I won't discount your fond stories. 99.9% of the time mine are fond as well, I just ask a favor that you don't attack me for feeling tired and vulnerable and having to admit that I wish there are some things he could work on. He is my everything, but sometimes I wish he'd realize that in these last 2 years we are not just a family of 2--Him and Ty, but rather a family of 3 that includes me. (And in that way, sometimes I have needs and desires that mean he better find a sitter so we can spend time fostering the relationship that is just us.)"
"Have you ever had such a roller coaster day that ended in a plummet, not a fun uphill climb or wacky twist? And you went for support from a particular loved one but they just zoned out in their own little world? Usually its innocent enough, but I just can't take it tonight! So here's what I hope can happen to get me out of my funk:
Who in Vegas and Henderson loves sushi like I do? Join me! I am gonna waste away if I don't get a fix of 808 Sushi and it's owner Dean soon! Hopefully this weekend. Hoping for happy hour when it's cheaper. Any takers? Frenchie? B? DG? JG? (Or girls night out and boys play with the kids?) But sadly happy hour menu is just rolls and apps, and I know how you four love your Nigiri. (And I like some of it there too actually.) You could also to buy that at regular price or choose AYCE. And I mean I'm not opposed to going for regular AYCE time too. Someone just has to volunteer to call Romeo and convince him to take me out. Extol upon him my superb qualities. That I'm a wonderful wife and the best mother ever and I deserve a night out on the town, at least a night with friends and sushi. Still no luck? Let's all hang this weekend but call it a cheepo lazy ass weekend and not do much of anything but let the kids play and order cheap pizza and drink cocktails, wine, and beer, yes? No? If you can twist my hubby's arm, I can even volunteer the house for the gathering. Do you think you could try to convince my man of that? Whatever you do--penalty of death if you reveal to him that I put you up to this! But what are friends for? In my case I need them to convince my husband how f-ing great I am, all I do, and that I deserve a night of raw fish and friends. (Or at the very least board games, movies, and friends. Are we too old for a retro sleep-over? The kids could sleep in Tybalt's room!) Help me get this off the ground with him! Oh, and now that my ramble's over, really, any local LV or Henderson friends who like sushi are welcome to come and make new friends with us and enjoy good food!"
"I probably need to clarify. I love my husband more than life itself. And most times he is a saint. But sometimes he is a saint to everyone else around us and can get too busy and caught up to remember me. Today was a big scary doctor appointment for me. It ended up going better than anyone could have expected, and I thought when I told him he'd jump for joy. (This is a serious issue with my health that we have been battling together for a couple years.) Instead I got a half-ear listen as he had some action movie on the tv, volume raised to a ridiculous level for early evening.
I now expect some flack regarding venting my frustrations. (Possibly here, but a reminder this was originally a fb post and we have hundreds of mutual friends on there. I have edited the entry there but part is still up. So we shall see.. what kid of crap I have to defend on fb after this. :( ) And I could honestly see why one might berate me--He is the best guy ever--no argument there. So while I concede to take your and their comments warmly and will mull them over and not dismiss, please try to give me an equal chance and respect, keeping in mind that being his wife and son's mother is a different skill set and a whole new ride. When you live with someone 24/7 sometimes you just see things others don't. Some of those are awesome and you feel blessed that only you bear witness to the moments, and some are the nitty gritties that you just need to vent and release so that you can start fresh and anew, which of course is healthy. Romeo is a blessing from God to all in his life. I won't discount your fond stories. 99.9% of the time mine are fond as well, I just ask a favor that you don't attack me for feeling tired and vulnerable and having to admit that I wish there are some things he could work on. He is my everything, but sometimes I wish he'd realize that in these last 2 years we are not just a family of 2--Him and Ty, but rather a family of 3 that includes me. (And in that way, sometimes I have needs and desires that mean he better find a sitter so we can spend time fostering the relationship that is just us.)"
Friday, July 6, 2012
Blog Baby Boom
There were two births this past week (I believe both were July 4th, actually!) in the blogs-I-follow world. Cristy had Gloria, and Michelle Au over at the Underwear Drawer had Nina. I've been keeping a close eye on their blogs for the past few days, just waiting to hear news. It's funny, because despite having no communication with these two women outside of reading their blogs and occasional comments, I'm genuinely happy for their expanding families.
I know there are have been other births in the blog-world since my own, many many more, actually, but these are the first that have elicited any kind of response from my own uterus. I think I might feel a twinge of baby-fever coming from down there, albeit a low-grade one. It seems easy enough to explain, these two births are perfectly timed with Mia beginning her departure from baby-hood. At a forth of July party we went to on Wednesday, there was a 10 month old baby that we spent a few minutes with. It's amazing what a difference just 4 months make in a baby's development; it made me miss having a little cuddly bundle. It's been 13 months and a few days since my own labor and delivery, and evidently, that's the amount of time it takes for me to think back on my time at the hospital (and the following weeks of difficulties) with any amount of fondness. Actually, it's probably around this time last year that I started being comfortable moving again.
I've said before that I didn't have a complicated pregnancy, labor, or delivery. I had a vaginal delivery, with only about 30 minutes of pushing. But, because Mia's arm was up around her face instead of down alongside her body, I got third degree tears. Mia came out before my Doctor made it into the delivery room, so there was nobody to do an episiotomy. These are not so uncommon, but extremely uncomfortable and slow to heal (for me), so the six weeks after delivery were slow and painful. I blame my difficulty losing weight and exercising now to my 6 weeks of complete inactivity during my maternity leave. It's nothing compared to what a lot of people go through, but hey, it was tough on me.
But now? I'm OK with what happened. And yes, the tearing is likely to happen again, but at least if/when there is a second time around, we'll be ready for it. So far, I have had ZERO desire for a second child, except for not wanting Mia to be an only child. But that hasn't seemed like reason enough. To have a second child, it has to be more than just wanting to give your first child something that you find important. You have to want more people in your family! B and I continued to talk as if there would be a second child, making plans to upsize our car in 2013, buying a new carseat for Mia with the intention of reusing her infant one for #2. But in the back of my mind, it's always been an "if".
There are people close to me who I know want another child, but for one reason or another, are unable to, or have been unable to so far. My sister in law and her husband have been having difficulties conceiving #2, even though #1 was conceived in their first month of trying. It's hard to talk about my own past struggle with whether I want another one since my friends either 1)have no babies, or 2)want more, but can't. And also, because of how difficult her struggle has been, I guess I don't want to put my decision off too long. I don't want to wait the three years that we want between our kids, only to find out that we will have trouble with #2 also. Of course, there are questions. Whether we can afford another daycare bill, whether I can take another, longer maternity leave, whether we think we have enough energy to devote to raising a second baby. But finally, I am starting to feel confident that yes, we'll plan on having more. I can do it. I want to do it.
Just not yet. We'll just have to hope for the best, but our family is not ready for a second addition.
I know there are have been other births in the blog-world since my own, many many more, actually, but these are the first that have elicited any kind of response from my own uterus. I think I might feel a twinge of baby-fever coming from down there, albeit a low-grade one. It seems easy enough to explain, these two births are perfectly timed with Mia beginning her departure from baby-hood. At a forth of July party we went to on Wednesday, there was a 10 month old baby that we spent a few minutes with. It's amazing what a difference just 4 months make in a baby's development; it made me miss having a little cuddly bundle. It's been 13 months and a few days since my own labor and delivery, and evidently, that's the amount of time it takes for me to think back on my time at the hospital (and the following weeks of difficulties) with any amount of fondness. Actually, it's probably around this time last year that I started being comfortable moving again.
I've said before that I didn't have a complicated pregnancy, labor, or delivery. I had a vaginal delivery, with only about 30 minutes of pushing. But, because Mia's arm was up around her face instead of down alongside her body, I got third degree tears. Mia came out before my Doctor made it into the delivery room, so there was nobody to do an episiotomy. These are not so uncommon, but extremely uncomfortable and slow to heal (for me), so the six weeks after delivery were slow and painful. I blame my difficulty losing weight and exercising now to my 6 weeks of complete inactivity during my maternity leave. It's nothing compared to what a lot of people go through, but hey, it was tough on me.
But now? I'm OK with what happened. And yes, the tearing is likely to happen again, but at least if/when there is a second time around, we'll be ready for it. So far, I have had ZERO desire for a second child, except for not wanting Mia to be an only child. But that hasn't seemed like reason enough. To have a second child, it has to be more than just wanting to give your first child something that you find important. You have to want more people in your family! B and I continued to talk as if there would be a second child, making plans to upsize our car in 2013, buying a new carseat for Mia with the intention of reusing her infant one for #2. But in the back of my mind, it's always been an "if".
There are people close to me who I know want another child, but for one reason or another, are unable to, or have been unable to so far. My sister in law and her husband have been having difficulties conceiving #2, even though #1 was conceived in their first month of trying. It's hard to talk about my own past struggle with whether I want another one since my friends either 1)have no babies, or 2)want more, but can't. And also, because of how difficult her struggle has been, I guess I don't want to put my decision off too long. I don't want to wait the three years that we want between our kids, only to find out that we will have trouble with #2 also. Of course, there are questions. Whether we can afford another daycare bill, whether I can take another, longer maternity leave, whether we think we have enough energy to devote to raising a second baby. But finally, I am starting to feel confident that yes, we'll plan on having more. I can do it. I want to do it.
Just not yet. We'll just have to hope for the best, but our family is not ready for a second addition.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Idealized Summer
Between constantly being sick, and the above 100 degree temperatures and scorching sunlight of Las Vegas, I realized that we're in quite a bit of a rut.
I realized this as a I glanced over at my husband, who was doing something on his computer while the Matrix 2 was playing. I was sitting on the couch finishing an epic bracelet. Mia was already asleep. This is the same scene that plays out almost every weeknight in our living room. Something on TV (plus, now that it's summer all the good TV is in reruns), B is on his laptop, while I make jewelry/knit/work on my Etsy Shop. It was Sunday night, we had already done our chores for the day, stocked our refrigerator for the week. I asked what he was up to, and almost dramatically, he said "Just waiting for bedtime, I guess". It hit me how depressing that sounds.
We have big summer plans. We bought a membership to the Springs Preserve, with the full intention of going at least once a month. We haven't gone back since, because... HOT. We are going to take a weekend trip to LA, but don't want to deal with hassle of boarding the dogs now that we've lost our go-to college student dog sitter. We are going to spend a night at a Vegas hotel with a fabulous pool towards the end of the summer when Mia is more steady on her feet, but it seems like the hotel prices aren't dipping below $125 which was our cut off. I still think we'll make all three items happen.
There always seem like so many excuses not to do something out of the ordinary. My husband is a home body. The baby shouldn't be out in the heat for long. The dogs. Gas. Money. We talk about ordinary things: carseats, soy milk, Netflix queues, what our next car should be sometime in 2013.
In reality, we don't sit at home that much on the weekends. We went to Costco (soymilk and baby wipes), Babies R Us (more Playtex Dropins for Daycare), the grocery store, Frys (new mouse). In fact, that afternoon, we had spent an hour or so at our complex's pool. We went out to dinner on Friday, and walked around the mall. I even drank a margarita and bought a skirt! Last week, we had a visitor. We went to a wine tasting. Somehow, in that moment, none of that seemed exciting enough. Because it's not very exciting. It's life! Weekends in a family of two working parents are inevitably going to stuffed full of errands that pile up during the week. Weeknights are about cleaning up after dinner, picking up baby toys, and getting ready for the next morning, and oh yeah, resting.
In about a month, I'll be boarding a plane LaGuardia-bound with Mia for a visit with my college roommates, then spending a few days with my Aunt, and then heading to Chicago for another wedding, where B will meet us.. I'm sure by the time I'm a few days into single parenting Mia, I'll be daydreaming about my rut.
I realized this as a I glanced over at my husband, who was doing something on his computer while the Matrix 2 was playing. I was sitting on the couch finishing an epic bracelet. Mia was already asleep. This is the same scene that plays out almost every weeknight in our living room. Something on TV (plus, now that it's summer all the good TV is in reruns), B is on his laptop, while I make jewelry/knit/work on my Etsy Shop. It was Sunday night, we had already done our chores for the day, stocked our refrigerator for the week. I asked what he was up to, and almost dramatically, he said "Just waiting for bedtime, I guess". It hit me how depressing that sounds.
We have big summer plans. We bought a membership to the Springs Preserve, with the full intention of going at least once a month. We haven't gone back since, because... HOT. We are going to take a weekend trip to LA, but don't want to deal with hassle of boarding the dogs now that we've lost our go-to college student dog sitter. We are going to spend a night at a Vegas hotel with a fabulous pool towards the end of the summer when Mia is more steady on her feet, but it seems like the hotel prices aren't dipping below $125 which was our cut off. I still think we'll make all three items happen.
There always seem like so many excuses not to do something out of the ordinary. My husband is a home body. The baby shouldn't be out in the heat for long. The dogs. Gas. Money. We talk about ordinary things: carseats, soy milk, Netflix queues, what our next car should be sometime in 2013.
In reality, we don't sit at home that much on the weekends. We went to Costco (soymilk and baby wipes), Babies R Us (more Playtex Dropins for Daycare), the grocery store, Frys (new mouse). In fact, that afternoon, we had spent an hour or so at our complex's pool. We went out to dinner on Friday, and walked around the mall. I even drank a margarita and bought a skirt! Last week, we had a visitor. We went to a wine tasting. Somehow, in that moment, none of that seemed exciting enough. Because it's not very exciting. It's life! Weekends in a family of two working parents are inevitably going to stuffed full of errands that pile up during the week. Weeknights are about cleaning up after dinner, picking up baby toys, and getting ready for the next morning, and oh yeah, resting.
In about a month, I'll be boarding a plane LaGuardia-bound with Mia for a visit with my college roommates, then spending a few days with my Aunt, and then heading to Chicago for another wedding, where B will meet us.. I'm sure by the time I'm a few days into single parenting Mia, I'll be daydreaming about my rut.
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