The Happiest of Fridays to you

My last post was such a first world problems kind of post, but I received my Samsung Galaxy S5 and am slowly adjusting to Android. It feels like it shouldn't be a big deal, but even for someone (like me) who doesn't play games or tweet or whatever on her phone, it's a revelation in how dependent I am on it. Calendars, contacts, photos, notes... it has been taking up my precious brain space all week long. At some moments, I'm so happy to have this big bright screen (it really is better than Apple's), and other moments, I think about how comically large this phone is and for some reason I can't get this camera to work as well as Apple's camera, even though the Samsung's is supposedly better (on paper). Either way, I'm giving it more time. If I can't get used to it soon, B and I will switch phones because he's entirely jealous of my Android, though I am not sure I get why quite yet.

In baby news, I finally located the missing bag of baby clothes and it turns out... we have a lot of clothing. A whole lot of 0-3 months and 3-6, which is what I was focusing on. So, that's good! Except that I had already hauled my expanding self to a consignment sale and purchased no fewer than 10 footie pajamas in both the 0-3 and 3-6 month range. I mean, at least I got them on consignment. I would have been pretty peeved with myself if I had bought them new and hung them up nicely in the closet as I did last weekend... We are now pretty well equipped in the clothing range and it looks like this little baby is going to be wearing footie pajamas all the live long day. There are still a few baby items that remain in the storage black whole that is either our garage, cupboard under the stairs, or walk in closet (the baby swing and the infant padding for the car seat) but someday soon, B will have to start taking my requests nagging seriously enough to get himself in there. Goodness knows I can't do it myself.

Friends of ours are hosting a "Baby Sprinkle" for us, and in light of having found my stash of baby girl clothes, I am feeling quite guilty about it. I think it will be really fun to have a little get together of our friends here in Vegas, but I am feeling bad about the occasion begging for presents. I've put together a registry specifically to show that there is very little we need (replacement bottle parts, some nursing accessories, diapers, lotions...) but I'm afraid it's still a bit tacky. I did ask our hosts to write that presents weren't necessary on the invitation, and I think that might be the best I can do to temper the tackiness short of cancelling the whole party (which I have no intention of doing, because it's going to be fun!).

I hope everyone has a few fun plans this weekend! Happy Friday!

Apple Woes

On Friday, after work, I planned to go to a consignment sale to pick up some clothing for both my 3 year old and my 30 weeker. Since I wasn't going to a part of town that I knew, I had plugged the address into my phone's GPS, and was following its directions when I realized that Siri hadn't spoken to me in a while. I look over and see the white screen of death. The white screen of death that I was all to familiar with, having had this happen to me at least 6 or 7 times in the past three months.

I drove around, pleading with my pregnancy brain to remember the address. By some miracle, I remembered the cross streets, searched for some signs and got myself there. Getting home was a bit of a debacle since I had no idea where the highway was, but I drove in the general direction I knew I needed to get to, and luckily stumbled on some signs to enter the highway I needed. I am really not one of those people who is constantly on their phones -- I use it for communicating. I don't play games, I don't tweet, I don't even read news. I check my email, check facebook (admittedly), instagram, and text and facetime.

I got my phone in the beginning of June. I'm already on my 3rd iPhone 5s. Seriously. They've had to reissue me a new phone twice, once because of this spontaneous shut down and never restarting problem (that's the technical term for it) and once because the camera hardware was damaged for whatever reason. 

B spent three hours on the phone with a combination of AT&T and Apple yesterday, I spent about 3 hours on the phone with Apple this morning, attempted no less than 4 restores, none of which actually 'restored' my phone to any functional level. Apple's solution: send me another 5s. I say, absolutely not.

The definition of insanity, according to Albert Einstein, is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. How am I seriously going to expect that anything different is going to happen if I am sent a 4th 5s? I am absolutely convinced that there is something wrong with the 5s. I'm not being unreasonable -- I said send me any other iPhone model, except the 5s, as long as it has the same amount of memory. 

I think I'm being perfectly reasonable, but this seems to involve many overrides and calls to managers. Current status: acknowledged white screen of death cannot be fixed. Management must authorize non-like replacement.

There's really no point to this blog post, except to keep me from throwing this useless piece of shit against the wall and feeling extremely satisfied by my actions.

Update: 09/23/2014 It's a big fat NO on replacing my 5s with any other model. They can send me a replacement 5s after they've received my broken 5s. You see, you can't have two iPhones in your possession at once, even if the second is non-functional. You don't want to do it that way? OK, you can make an appointment at the Apple store most convenient for you and do the exchange in person. The next available appointment is... Sunday. Oh, that's too late for you? How about an incredibly inconvenient location that your 8 month pregnant self will have to walk about 2 miles to reach? We can see you there on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, after a significant amount of pleading and trying to send me back to Apple, AT&T has offered to send me a Samsung Galaxy S5 for free. Reluctant as I may be... it looks like I'm making the switch. 

28 Weeks and Breathing

The motion hearing I had been dreading and dreading for the past few weeks has come and gone. Everything went well, despite being incredibly long and touch and go. I was present, though not arguing, and could barely get a read on how the judge was going to rule until the very last minute, when he finally ruled in our favor. Even our outside counsel, who was arguing the case, was totally freaked out going into it since we found out at the very last second that our regular judge was on vacation and the motion would be decided by a visiting judge.

Anyway, all turned out well and I feel like I can finally breathe. Also, it totally explains my super crummy mood over the weekend, and the state of my cuticles at this very moment. 

But! Now I can concentrate on being 28 weeks pregnant, in the third trimester by all pregnancy guide standards, and (most importantly) on figuring out where those damn footie pajamas went!

Entering the final trimester, I am feeling quite large, though I'm still doing very well with keeping any weight gain under control. As of my last Doctor's visit, I've gained 6 pounds, but I am definitely already waddling. This explains how I was able to wear my suit jacket to court this morning, though only the top button could be done. I'm just relieved to know that my pregnancy hasn't moved to my torso, like it did last time. My pants were black maternity pants, but I still managed to look pulled together enough that our outside counsel said "So, you're pregnant then?" when I mentioned that I refused to buy a maternity suit despite my inability to button my jacket. This is both flattering (Oh, you couldn't tell? Why thank you) and confusing (Wait, I obviously have a large protrusion in my belly area -- did you just think I was enormously fat?). 

I'm now seeing my doctor every two weeks, which feels a bit premature at this point, but will hopefully help break the remaining 12 weeks up into some nice manageable chunks. I guess this is the point at which we start worrying about blood pressure increases and contractions and kick counts, so it'll be nice to check in with someone every two weeks without having to worry about calling in for every little thing I might have questions about. 

I continue to feel lots of movement, and those movements are now completely visible from the outside. I'll be laying down before sleep, and will watch my bump shift completely from one side to the other. I remember this happening with Mia, but I don't quite remember her being being this active. 

On a super mushy note, I'm starting to get really excited about meeting this person that I've felt inside me for the past several months. With Mia, there was so much anticipation, but so much mystery. Of course, this time around, there is still plenty of mystery (how will we handle having two children? how will Mia react to having a baby in the house? will I be able to breastfeed for longer?) but the basic aspects of having a newborn are not unknown to us. How to swaddle, how to burp, how to breastfeed, how to change diapers, how will we handle the lack of sleep (poorly), we know all of that. What we do not know, is who this person is. And finding that out is what I am most excited about, this time around. 

Also? So many things I've read, and so many people, talk about how the second pregnancy just flies by. They say that you're so busy concentrating on the child you do have, and juggling all of your responsibilities, you'll barely have time to think about being pregnant. Well, I call complete and total bullshit on that. This pregnancy has gone by quite slowly for me. We found out I was pregnant the day I got back from France, and honestly, that feels like years ago. So, NO. I have not for one second forgotten that I was pregnant, and I feel like I've been pregnant FOREVER.

Complain-y Moments

I have pregnancy brain to the millionth degree. But at least I'm aware of it. I had two small things to do -- each would take about 10 minutes. I have to start BOTH at the same time to make sure I don't do one and forget about the other. 20 minutes later, both things are done but my brain is exhausted.

I have done everything I can leading up to a motion hearing we have scheduled for Wednesday. I'm not arguing it, of course, outside counsel is, but I've done everything humanly possible for things to go in our favor. I hope. I keep telling myself that I am not my job. This weekend, I'd work myself up over the motion, but Mia's hugs would keep me grounded. This morning, with Mia's scent and arms at daycare, I'm trying to focus on this baby's kicks to keep me stable. It works, until I forget to pay attention!

I'm anxious (see above) and can't compartmentalize. This is usually my strength, and how I think I manage to keep myself happy. I find myself getting furious at my boss when I overhear him speaking to his family and responding that things are "great" when asked how he's doing, and that he's "just working hard over here" when asked what he's up to. You are not fine! Don't be so cheerful!

I have a co-worker who was hired in a pretty large role while I was out studying for and taking the bar exam last year. Usually, I'm somewhat involved in the hiring process, but obviously, I was out when she started. I would never, ever, have been enthusiastic about this hire. She is unable to compose a coherent sentence in written form. COMPLETELY unable. She has written 5 word interoffice memos, and two of the 5 words are misused or misplaced. So every time she needs something "written", she comes to me. She speaks, and I write it down. I cannot, CANNOT understand how a person can get through life like this. I also cannot understand how someone like this could ever make it through any form of hiring process. I've brought it up, of course, and have been asked to please help her if I have time.

The weekend ended with me sitting on the couch, declaring that I had not had any fun all weekend. I was whiny about all the football that had been on my television, despite there really not being anything else that I wanted to watch. I spend the weekend doing about 12 loads of laundry for myself, my child, and my unborn child. Then I folded and put away all of that laundry. And organized the girl(s)' closet and room. It was incredibly productive, actually. But not at all fun. I honestly didn't leave the house once.

There is a box of under 6 month old infant clothing hidden away in my house. I've found many many onesies and burp cloths and swaddling blankets but I'm missing a bunch of footie sleepers I absolutely know we had. I've looked everywhere I can think to look, and of course, my husband has been to preoccupied with his fantasy football team to care to assist me in my search. Where oh where are those adorable little clothes hiding??

MILP Roundup #363

This post should cover all the MILPy updates from the week of September 1 through 7, 2014. It turns out to be a pretty quiet week, but here's what everyone has been up to!


But I do marvels at her two grown up creations, starting school this week.

CP  manages her two boys on her own for the Great Staycation of 2014, at 32 weeks pregnant. And Jacob starts school!

Lag Liv celebrates 9 years of marriage, looking fantastic thanks to all those Barre workouts.

The Queen of Hats eases pH back into home schooling, showing those public schools up, and taking advantage of trips to the post office as teachable moments.

Perfect Yellow Yolk celebrates 34 weeks, and continues to get the best comments from people around her. When will they learn? This week, I got a "Wow! You're really popping out there!".

Daisy, JD has joined some kind of awesome city-wide work out class thing that if I was still in Chicago, would totally be down for (you know, for like 3 weeks until... couch.)

Kate had a big week! She signed a lease, finished a bar application and got her JD (in writing)!


The weekly Mothers in the Legal Profession Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis at Butterflyfish, Grace, BJJ, Law, and Living, Mommy and the Sin City, Magic Cookie, The Reluctant Grownup, and Perspectives from a Hard Boiled Egg.

If you would like your blog to be included in this Roundup, pleases email any of the above mentioned hostesses! Magic Cookie's got it next.

At least it's not a Monday

There's something about the first day back at work following a three day weekend that makes me dread opening my work email. I come up with all sorts of scenarios that could have happened between 5pm on Friday and 9am on Tuesday. I have to remind myself that everyone else was off work too. The post office was closed. The courts were closed. Other businesses were closed. This is no different from a regular Monday, except it has the bonus of already being Tuesday!

During pregnancy, my anxiety levels seem to skyrocket. Not about the pregnancy itself, or about the baby (though I do have my moments), but about everything else around me.The anxieties are nothing new, circumstances are generally not changed, but me? I can't seem to keep it together. I can feel my heart beating in my chest, my blood pressure drops, I get dizzy... it's all very unpleasant. 

Spoiler alert -- nothing new or unexpected happened. There are some stressful things to deal with, but you know. Nothing I didn't know about on Friday and clearly nothing I can stop from giving me the yucks.

Anyway. The weekend! It really was a glorious one. At some point on Sunday, I felt like maybe we should actually try to do something social and involving a grill, but then I decided to just blow up our inflatable pool and call that Labor Day. And it was spectacular. It was hot enough to make our 8 foot long plastic pool appealing, and Mia and I spent about 2 hours lounging and splashing about on both Sunday and Monday while B was a fuddy duddy indoors.

Even with the daytime splashing about, it managed to be a really productive weekend. We did the things working parents need to do on the weekends to keep up with... life. I even had time to organize my inventory stock for the upcoming holiday opening of the Etsy Shop. I've found that I can be successful in the months leading up to and following the Holidays, but that it isn't worth the time and effort in between. So, look out for some new things starting October 1st, including lots of new handmade earrings! I'm excited for the season, and I am trying to get most of the making and photographing done before I am juggling a newborn on my boob multiple times a day. 

Happy September, everyone! Next week, 3rd trimester and all its glory.

Planning Ahead

It may not even be September yet, but I feel like I've been planning for the Holiday Season since the moment those two pink lines showed up on the pregnancy test. Since my official due date is December 3rd, 6 days after Thanksgiving, I've planned for the Wednesday before thanksgiving to be my last day of work (unless I go into labor before then). I think it should be pretty fun for my maternity leave to coincide perfectly with the Holiday season, so that I don't have to worry about days off, or daycare being closed for so many days, etc. I mean, my Mom will be with us for that time, so if Mia does have to stay home from daycare, at least I won't be on my own with two children!

Anyway, other people thought this timing was pretty great, too. And by other people, I mean many members of my large Filipino family. Have I ever mentioned that my Mom is one of 10 siblings? Well. Many of them still live in the Philippines, and with me being a actual adult for the past 5 years now, I haven't gone back there since winter break of 3L. A combination of that, my due date, and the fact that many of my Filipino family members have yet to meet Mia (including my Filipino Grandmother!), they have declared it Las Vegas Christmas 2014!

I mean, don't get me wrong. I am so excited to see them. They are the funnest bunch, and my Mom's youngest brother is only 12 years older than I am, and his youngest child is only 18 months older than Mia. It's going to be so much fun to have a big family Christmas, especially considering the subdued and intimate Christmases our little family has been having for the past couple of years. I was a little shell-shocked when my Mom told me over FaceTime last night, considering she thought she had already told me but definitely hadn't, so it was kind of like... "Okay, add more people to the list of those coming for Christmas", and I'm like... "In addition to you and Dad, you mean?", and it was more like "No, In addition to uncle 1, 2, 3, 4, you can add cousins 5, 6, 7" and so on until you reach a grand total of about 22 people.

No, they are not staying in my 3 bedroom, 1,500 square foot house for 10 days. Anyone have a very large house with a very large dining table to rent in Las Vegas?

Toddler Sleep Habits, Follow Up.

Not a lot has been going on around here, other than really starting to feel achy and large, so I thought I'd do an update on how things are going with our Mia's previously awful sleep habits.

When I last left off, were were valiantly attempting the ignore-your-childs-delay-tactics method. The basics being: put your child to bed normally, then when they get out of bed, silently return them to bed as many times as it takes until you think you are going to kill yourself. We did this for about a week or two, but found Mia was probably responding to this in the opposite way you would expect. She'd go completely ballistic when we didn't respond to her, it seemed to be doing more harm than good.

Shift to the "completely ignore" method. We spent a couple of weeks allowing her to yell out her requests from the threshold of her room (she was blocked in by a babygate), only to have them fall on completely deaf ears. We made sure she had everything she could possibly need before leaving her: a full cup of water, a potty visit, all the stuffed animals her heart desired, and even the pajamas of her choice. It worked... kind of but completely inconsistently. Some nights, she'd settle herself down after repeatedly getting ignored, either falling asleep on the floor of her room, or back in her bed. Some nights, she'd get herself into such a STATE that she'd still be awake by 10pm, the time B and I usually head up to our room. If she knew we were in our own room, she'd settle down without a peep.

With that method being so inconsistent, we switched things up a bit. I didn't think it was going to benefit anyone to have her continue to either 1) fall asleep on the floor of her room, or 2) stay up so late that she was exhausted the next day. So, I gave it a time limit. If she was still making requests/screaming/whatever she was doing after 30 minutes of us leaving her, then I would go up and give her what she wanted, or declining her request if it was less reasonable, but asking her to get back in her bed and please calm down. This is what seems to have done the trick, at least in our case. It was somewhat inconsistent for a while; some nights, she'd settle down after just one 30 minute visit. Some nights, it could stretch out into 2 or 3 visits over a 60 or 90 minute span. But, as of the past couple of weeks, she's back to settling down without any more visits. She's gotten her story privileges back, she's learned to make her requests quickly,  before we leave the room, and reasonably. She'll ask to read a book in her bed, and I'll tell her that she can, as long as she is laying down. If she does get up, we can either talk to her from the bottom of the stairs ("Mama, there's a fly in my room." "That's OK, honey. Flies don't bite.") or, we will go up and calmly put her back in her bed.

While my description is not likely going to give anyone too many helpful tips in dealing with this kind of thing, I can at least say that adapting the methods with some hard and fast rules to your own kid's personality is probably the best way to go, especially if you really aren't seeing any results with the strict rules. I hated getting Mia so worked up by ignoring her, and found that if I put a time limit on that, it made it a lot easier to be patient and calm when I did go to her room. The ignoring-her for periods of time method has only been effective for us because Mia isn't night-time potty trained yet. I haven't even wanted to tackle that monster until her going-to-bed habits were somewhat under control.

I do my best to be completely positive throughout the whole bedtime routine. If she starts to show any negative feeling towards sleeping, I try to change her focus by asking her which story she'd like to read, or which pajamas she'd like to wear, etc. I was finding that I was getting really stressed and unpleasant when she was going through the worst of the bedtime resistance and I've really tried my best not to get stressed in anticipation of her resisting.

I really feel like we've finally pushed through to the other side of this nightmare. Ever since Mia turned 3, I've been lamenting this age as the absolute worst we've had to deal with, but I'm finding that now that we've got sleep under control, all of the other tantrums and difficulties have also fallen off and I really feel like my sweet girl is back from the land of the sleep deprived!

Friday Tidbits

• Yesterday was a Doctor filled day. 24 week visit for me! While I have a couple of weird and unpleasant things going on, they are (as usual) "normal" for pregnancy and there's basically nothing that can be done to fix it except give birth. So, my numb fingers and heart palpitations will remain in place until Thanksgiving. 
• I took Mia to the pediatrician later that afternoon after daycare told us that she had been going to the bathroom a lot more frequently than usual. My instinct was to chalk it up to drinking a lot of water/wanting attention, but after going through quite the adventure of getting her to pee in a cup, she's got a bladder infection! It doesn't actually seem to be bothering her much, with the exception of the increased bathroom use, so I'm not terribly worried about it and antibiotics should do the trick!
• This in-utero child is so much more violent than my first fetus. I don't know if it has something to do with being more aware of movement this time around, having a "looser" uterus, or what, but this child frequently kicks or headbutts me in the cervix and it is not pleasant. Without fail, after every meal, I have to lean back in my chair and give her room to trash about.
• I've been having some trouble with some anxiety. I'm about 99% sure that it's related to pregnancy hormones, but I take everything stressful so personally and have found myself getting physically worked up about it. It started a couple of weeks ago and has been going strong this week. Luckily, I was able to get some resolution to the stressful issue at work, but I'm getting the feeling that it won't be isolated to that single event. In my head, I can realize that I am overreacting, but I can't seem to tell my heart to relax.
• We decided at the very last minute to do a quick night out of town. We'll be spending one day and night at Big Bear Lake, in California. I'm looking forward to breathing some fresh air and enjoying the sounds of the lake.

23 weeks!

I am feeling generally well, increasingly huge, and physically tired, with bursts of energy. At work, I'll be productive for an hour or two, and then need to sit down and fight the urge to close my eyes. Pregnancy brain is in full force, and my desk is scattered with tiny scraps of paper that I'm sure meant something at the time of writing but mean absolutely nothing to me as I try to sort through them.

No picture this week, my iPhone is acting up again. [For anyone keeping track, this weekend will make my 4th trip to the Apple store in the 2 months I've upgraded.]

One of my friends here in Las Vegas went unexpectedly into labor at 36 weeks, and delivered a healthy (but tiny) baby boy on Tuesday. The second thought that ran through my head (other than being really happy for them -- they'd been trying to get pregnant for about 3 years and are going to be the most enthusiastic and loving parents) was that while I am (hopefully) still far away from delivering, I am going to start sorting through the little baby clothes I have in storage. Not so much to actually be ready but to figure out how much stuff can be reused and how much stuff we'll need to add to the inventory. I have in my head that I'll deliver around Thanksgiving, but you really can never know these things in advance.

I inserted all of my week numbers into my work calendar to help me plan things out -- it's starting to freak me out that every time I insert a deadline or court date, I can picture how big I will be, or how much time I will have left to make sure everything is in order. My friend going into early labor also has me freaking out about contingency plans for Mia's overnight care if I went into labor before my Mom made it back to the country. Her plan is to get to Las Vegas around the 20th or 21st of November, which puts me at 38 weeks and 2 days. I went into labor with Mia at 39 weeks, 1 day and delivered at 39 weeks, 2 days. In my mind, that's cutting it awfully close. Am I wrong? [Tell me I'm wrong.]

Search Completed!

We finally did it. After months, and months and months of talking about it, we finally took the plunge and traded my Tiny Car in for a Family Sized One. We talked about getting a smaller, 2-row cross over for a while, but once we realized that we would already be out of space anytime my parents were in town, which they are, frequently, and for long periods of time, we scratched that idea and went straight to the three-row category.

We were are concerned about gas mileage (Hello! I drove a 45mpg hybrid for 5 years!), so we crossed any vehicle that was over 6 cylinders, which limits your choices quite a bit. In the end, after test drives, reviews, and endless discussions, we narrowed it down to the Nissan Pathfinder, the Maxda CX9 and the Honda Pilot. We wanted to buy one that was mildly used, 3 years old or newer. While I had a slight preference for the Pathfinder, the Pilot was so much roomier (it's a 3 seat third row, with latches in all three seats while the other two are only 2-seat third rows). Also, it turned out that there were about three times the number of Pilots in the 2012-2013 range than there were Pathfinders or CX9s.

One of our friends (remember Juliet Cap? her)'s Dad is a salesperson at an Acura dealership, so I gave him a call, and told him our requirements. He found a 2012 Honda Pilot, with cloth seats and marked at about $2,000 below our price range. We headed to the dealership a few days later, liked the car, and after 4 hours of painless paperwork, drove home in our new [to us] car. Right now, with only the three of us in town, the car feels enormous, but I know that the second my Mom gets here in three short months (and staying for at least 2 months!) it will not feel that way.

We filled our tank for the first time, and it was pretty painful. We calculated 21 mpgs, which is exactly what it's rated for, but when you're used to paying $25.00 for a full tank every other week, it smarts. I am driving it for a week or so to get used to it, but then I'll be switching to the Civic since my commute is pretty long. But the car payment is significantly lower than it was on the Insight (better credit, awesome deal on the car), so financially it will somewhat balance out. I hope.

The name game

We picked a name for this little squirmy bundle that I am carrying. It's not a secret, we've been sharing it. My feeling is basically that if we've decided, there's no reason not to. If you haven't decided, and you share the names you're thinking about, then you're opening yourself up to feedback. You're basically telling people they are welcome to help you decide. We've decided to name our daughter Lucy. A simple, pretty, straightforward, unfussy name that I've liked for a long time, and absolutely loved paired with Mia. Mia & Lucy. The name itself, however, is not the point of my story.

The thing is, when you share the name you've picked, you aren't looking for feedback. You just aren't. If you really want to avoid all feedback, then you keep the name to yourself until your child is born and named. But that's just isn't how we are! Sharing the name is fun, and I've come to expect that the people I am sharing this piece of information with know the rules. If you aren't pregnant, and are talking hypothetically about baby names, then opine away. That is the time to share whether you like someone's choice. If someone is pregnant, and they're telling you about what names they like, your role is simple: if you like the name, enthuse away. If you don't, pretend you do. The rule doesn't change, no matter who the expecting parents are, no matter what your relationship is to them. You do not have a role in naming their child.

Of course, you can guess from the above that someone strayed from that rule. None other than my Father in Law, B's Dad. Of course, someone whose behavior can bring me quickly (very quickly) to anger. B isn't great at keeping in touch with his family. He speaks to his father monthly, at most. It's not that they aren't close, I think they are, but keeping in touch doesn't occur to them. B and his Dad had their monthly catch up yesterday, and B shared the name we had decided on.

FIL's reaction: "Nah, I don't like it." Very casual, very matter of fact. B's response: "Uh, OK. Well, that's what we decided, so that's what she'll be named..." FIL's response: "[Wife] doesn't like it, either." ... I am, sitting on the couch, just outside of FaceTime range SEETHING. Shaking my head, making SEETHING eyes at B, who is also, visibly upset. FIL tries to change the subject, ask what else is up. B informs him that it's time to make dinner (despite it being 4pm...), and they hang up.

WTF

21 Weeks!

18 Weeks

21 Weeks!

I haven't done an official pregnancy update in a while, so here goes this one. 21 weeks as of today, and generally feeling quite well. The nausea is no longer a symptom, thankfully, but the pregnancy allergies/constant nasal congestion has started. I'll take it over nausea anyday. My Doctor totally approved Zyrtek, so that has been helping greatly. The anatomy scan ultrasound revealed another girl, yes, but it also revealed a healthy baby, measuring on target, a closed cervix and a well-placed placenta. So, everything is looking great and while there are some pregnancy annoyances, I don't want to sound ungrateful or complain-y. This time around, going into the ultrasound, I was significantly more anxious about finding out that the baby was healthy then I was about actually finding out the sex. With Mia, I had a healthy pregnancy with little to no complications, and now we have a healthy, active daughter without any issues. Part of me feels like it is too much to ask  to do it all second time without something going wrong. 

I did injure my back doing absolutely nothing a couple of weeks ago, and had a couple of physical therapy sessions. Those helped, and my back feels totally fine now. It feels like my uterus is shifting up higher into my torso, and I'm starting to get out of breath doing the most benign things. Yes, things like going up the stairs will wind me, but also, I'll find myself breathing heavily after drinking water, shaving my legs (which-- any excuse not to do it, amirite?) and it's comical, but also pretty annoying. I think the shortness of breath thing has been causing some increased tiredness, too. I'll wake up still feeling sleepy, and every morning I have to convince myself to get ready and go to work. Every day this week, I've been tempted to take a sick day, but realize that I should probably save those for when I'm actually sick since I've got another 4 months to go here.

In more fun news, we picked a name! I'm hesitant to put it down on paper (public, web-based paper), but we've been using it without keeping it a secret. We went over a few names out loud while Mia was in the room, had her repeat some of them to see how they sounded out of her, and decided pretty quickly. A couple of days later, I asked Mia what we should call her little sister, she remembered the name we liked best, and it was done. 

This week/month, I think we're going to stop talking about getting a bigger car and actually do it. I'm getting so so so so tired of having discussion after discussion (B initiated, of course. He likes to go over specifics ad nauseam) over which car would suit our needs best, I just want to do it so that Autotrader.com can stop being a permanent tab on my browser. 

MILP #356, Week ending in July 20, 2014

I apologize for the somewhat late post, I 100% blame all the Apple products in my life, all of whom are back in working order on this Monday morning. Some of the MILPs have had rough weeks, so head over to those blogs and post some encouraging comments.

Alice becomes that soccer Mom. With a caveat.

But I do has a scary moment as a Mom, and while things turned out for the best, she still learns something.

CP has a really great week of bike rides, park playtime, and pregnant outfits. And then ends on a weepy, but happy note.

Magic Cookie celebrates her 10 years of blogging! Congrats. Oh, FYI, the kids are now Bill and Ted!

Grace suffers the loss of her coworker, and notices a big change in people's grieving in the age of social media.

Kate has a day of forwards and backwards regarding her living situation, and while not everything is resolved, the day closes in a better place than it started. 

Lag Liv's Lanman turns 7 and wins all the races!! Also, is it just me, or are those windows constantly getting cleaned? I'm not sure we've cleaned the outside of the windows on our house once... maybe we're supposed to be?

RG writes a beautiful summer recap post. She has a way of writing that makes me feel like I can peacefully picture everything.

Perspectives takes a [professional] break and enjoys adulthood.

Daisy, JD laments (without complaining!) the differences between vacations as a spouse and mom and those that did not involve so many darn lists.  

kderoll has... a WEEK. Maybe this is a recap of several weeks? I hope so, for her sake.


The weekly Mothers in the Legal Profession Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis at Butterflyfish, Grace, BJJ, Law, and Living, Mommy and the Sin City, Magic Cookie, The Reluctant Grownup, and Perspectives from a Hard Boiled Egg.

If you would like your blog to be included in this Roundup, pleases email any of the above mentioned hostesses! Magic Cookie's got it next.

Toddler Sleep Habits, Volume Umpteen.

A few weeks before turning 3, Mia became a total rebel. 2 was a super fun age for us, and while she threw her fair share of tantrums, she wouldn't push her boundaries the way she does now. During the day, she'll be incredibly opinionated, mostly in demanding yet charming ways. Her opinions are strongest when it comes to food choices, cutlery choices (BIG FORK!), plate color, and clothing. It's not been completely easy to deal with, but as long as you give her a semblance of a choice, things go over relatively well (Mia, would you like to wear a skirt or shorts today?).

But at bedtime, the charm is gone. It became most apparent to us when my parents were around, and she would scream (oh yes, SCREAM) requests at us from the door of her room (blocked by a baby gate). "I NEED ANOTHER BOOK!" or "I NEED SOME WATER!" or "I NEED ANOTHER [STUFFED] ANIMAL!". Nothing earth shattering, but certainly a great delay tactic. At this point in the day, B and I just wants some G-D peace and quiet, so whatever she was requesting, within reason, she would get. My parents pointed out that during their visit last year (at this exact time of year), she went to bed with absolutely no complaints, and they were always so impressed with that. Not too many circumstances have changed in her bedtime routine -- she had free reign of the room though she was sleeping in a toddler bed, she got the same nighttime routine of bath, toothbrush, and book. She's still napping at daycare, but rarely does on the weekends, but that doesn't affect her nighttime transformation into a tazmanian devil.

Reenter sleep training. While she was a baby/toddler still in her crib, we used a simple method recommended to us by her pediatrician. Put her to bed, leave. If she cried, go back to her immediately, soothe, and exit. If she didn't calm down, return 10 minutes later, soothe, exit. If she didn't calm down then, return 20 minutes later, soothe, exit. So on and on with 10 minute increments added on. This worked for us, and by 2 she was going to bed without protest or delay.

This time, things are a bit different since she's not actually crying, and I assume, doesn't need the reassurance from us any more. She just doesn't want to go to bed yet. On Monday, we started the method recommended by AlphaMom, of walking her silently and without emotion  back to bed every time she gets up, without acknowledging any requests and with 100% consistency. We've done three nights, and while I'll admit the time between initially putting her to bed and her actually falling asleep (or at least, no longer protesting) has shortened considerably, her reaction to us following this method has taken us entirely by surprise.

My sweet girl turns into a bit of a devilish monster when her parents do not acknowledge her. The first night, she screamed. Not scream-cried, but screamed in anger. But, we did as we were instructed. No emotions, no acknowledgment. We are permitted to repeat a single phrase of our choosing (We went with "Stay in your bed"), and that is the only thing we'll say to hear when bringing her back to her bed.  She screamed, demanded a book, demanded water, kicked her blankets off. I mean, she was seriously awful and I was so glad nobody else was in the house to see this transformation. We must have gone up a total of 8 times and returned her to bed, and things were finally quiet upstairs about an hour after initial bedtime.

The second night, she got angry before we even said goodnight for the first time. She lost her story privileges, and was seriously mad about it right away. She hit me, several times. Nothing painful or violent, but clearly testing limits. The AlphaMom article didn't address what to do in this kind of situation, but I powered through and simply told her to stay in her bed. This time, we went up about 5 times, but it only took about 20 minutes for her to settle down. The next morning, she was seriously cheerful when she woke up, and I was secretly doing a victory dance -- I could at least tell myself that we were doing the right thing by forcing her to sleep, despite her obviously hating us for it.

Last night, night 3, she got mad, Mad, MAD as soon as I pulled out her pajamas. So, I figured we should stop showing emotion right away, and go to "Stay in your bed". She demanded another pair of pajamas, she demanded a different overnight pull up design, and she hit me again. Repeatedly. At first, without any kind of violence, but then, she hit me in the face, SO HARD that my glasses actually flew off my face. I nearly lost my ever loving mind. I grabbed her by the shoulders, put her in bed, told her she was NOT a sweet girl, and left. [PARENT FAIL] It was a seriously heartbreaking scene, and I think I will remember this night for a long time. She was so irrationally angry, and I was so angry and shaken up by her violent reaction that I didn't know what to do. She screamed, kicked her blankets off, continued demand different pajamas, etc. There was, at least, a small victory. She did not get out of bed. She may have been writhing around in anger, but at least she was doing it in her bed. About 10 minutes later, after I had calmed down, I heard her calm herself down. She had gotten out of bed, but she told us from the door of her room that she was ready to be a sweet girl now. So, I went up, wordlessly walked her back to bed. She repeated that she was sorry, and ready to be a sweet girl. I broke our own rules and told her that I was sorry, gave her a kiss and a hug, and she rolled over and let me tuck her in.

The time frames are certainly shortening, but the training has certainly intensified. If things don't go well tonight, I'm not sure I can keep this up much longer. I've never seen this side of her, it's so raw and disturbing to see your sweet little child flip a switch so drastically. I'm hoping we get things a bit more under control tonight and tomorrow. And if we don't, then I'm going to pull the plug on this method.

Normalcy

My parents were here for just over three weeks. While it was a really nice visit, it really seemed like a long time. We made all sorts of tentative plans while they were still in China, but everything seemed to crumble as they got here. My brother, who lives in Chicago, couldn't get any confirmation on his time-off schedule, my Dad ended up having to have a couple of medical tests that had to be spaced out throughout their trip. B's work schedule was all thrown off with the changes he went through, too. So, in the end, it seems like we just hung out at the house for 3 weeks, with a couple of fun activities thrown in.

While we didn't actually do anything out of the ordinary, having both of your parents living in your house for several weeks will throw a wrench in your daily routine. They drove me to work nearly every morning and picked me up from work every afternoon, so they could have use of the car during the day. Not having a car at your disposal during the day doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, because 80% of the time, I stay at my office. But not having the option of driving off on my own whenever necessary was awfully disconcerting! First world problems and all, but it was really nice to drive myself to work, park my car in the parking lot, and know that I can drive to outside counsel's office today [not that I'll need to...].

Overall, it was a really nice visit. Lots of downtime, nothing was rushed, and I think my Dad really had himself a nice vacation from his pretty demanding job [and my Mom had a nice vacation from living in China, with multiple trips to Target and the Outlets thrown in for good measure]. Judging from his vacation beard, it must have been relaxing.

Now that my parents are gone and with the the sex of Baby #2 revealed (girl! if you missed it), I'm starting to focus on what we need to do to prepare for her arrival. There are very few things, but some will require some time (like taming Mia's tazmanian devil bedtime habits -- more on that in another post, I'm sure). It is weighing on my mind a bit that I still have over 4 months to go with this pregnancy, and that seems like an awfully long time right now. I'll have to start planning a couple of things between now and then to break up the time. My Mom will be back in mid-November, just before my due date, and my Dad and brother are planning on coming back for Christmas this year. Lots to look forward to, but for now, returning to normalcy sounds pretty good to me too.

It's a...

I was absolutely convinced that I was having a boy. I mean, totally convinced. But, as I've disclaimed before... my instincts are always wrong. I have this theory that women pregnant with girls tend to look less pretty than usual, and women pregnant with boys look prettier than their normal selves during pregnancy. I thought I was looking pretty cute for the past couple of weeks, so I thought... boy. Since unborn sex theories are a whole lot of crap, it looks like mine fits in with the rest of them. 

I was majorly surprised when the ultrasound tech flashed to the area between the legs and I saw a whole lot of blank space. I had to ask her if she was sure. "I'm sure!" She said. Then, the doctor came in to verify the results, and sure enough, he was also quite sure it was a little girl. In that moment though, I pictured Mia with a sister and could not contain my excitement.

A small part of me is sad, of course. I think I'll have a few pangs of mourning for the son I thought I was having, but it's entirely useless to be sad about this kind of thing. The sadness I may feel at most likely never having a son is overshadowed by the absolute joy I feel at the prospect of Mia having a little sister. And so much of it doesn't mean anything - there's not much that I would have wanted to do with a son that I can't do with a daughter, and I'm constantly reminding B of this (his only sadness has to do with the whole "passing the family name" business, which... I don't relate much to -- which also, let's not stereotype too much here, there are about a million reasons a woman might name her children with her own family name...). 

Anyway! Overall, we are super super excited! We have the name narrowed down pretty well, I think. We had always discussed a second daughter's name, and while B refuses to commit because he wants to cover all other possibilities, every other possibility I throw out there, he doesn't like. Also, now that we know it's a girl, I am relieved not to have to buy a whole new wardrobe. Anyone care to contribute what I actually do need to buy for a second kid?

Moving Forward

Despite the relative silence around here, everything's going just fine. Yes, we had some news to deal with and things were a bit sad for a few days there. But, we're fine and everyone's settled back into a nice little routine. B was pretty salty for a couple of days there, but I think he's doing his best not to let his mind go to any bad places. He's going to go back to a job he was good at, kill it, and make a move in a few months (after this baby is born).

Otherwise, we had a nice little 4th of July weekend. We saw some friends, saw some fireworks, and generally had a lovely time.  Not as restful as this Monday morning would like, but such is life. Sometime in the past week and a half, I managed to somehow injure my back, despite doing no exercise whatsoever, so I start physical therapy today. While I actually think it's mostly healed (my Doctor suggested going back to sleeping on my back for a few days, and that seems to have mostly done the trick), I'm keeping my PT appointment since I work for a Healthcare company that offers Physical Therapy and it would be silly not to walk out of my office and across the hall for... whatever it is he's going to have me do.

On a more exciting note, we should find out the sex of Baby #2 tomorrow!!

When life hands you lemons...

and you're not quite at the point where you can make lemonade because... ugh.

So, this whole Baby #2 has been contingent on B finally advancing at work. In my mind, it was. In B's mind, we were doing it this year no matter what. Well, here I am, 17 weeks along, and here B is, three months into his four month training, when... it looks like it's not going to work out. He's been having these monthly evaluations, and at the conclusion of his third month, he is informed by the training manager that they don't believe he will be ready in time. They recommend he go back to his previous role. But it's up to him; he can go through his 4th month, but if he does and hasn't gotten to the point they want him to be, he'll have to leave the company. If he goes back to his previous role now, he can "try this whole thing again next year".

I don't believe they are giving him this ultimatum. Obviously, I am not there, all day, every day, but I absolutely will not be convinced that they are making the right decision. That these people, making these decisions, are any more qualified than my smart, hardworking, dedicated husband. Because they're not. Why invest three months into a person without seeing it through? Giving him this option at the end of the training program, rather than now?

B's confidence is, understandably, shaken. Maybe I don't have the personality for this, he says. Being a bank manager isn't what I expected; it's a lot closer to being a manager in retail than being knowledgeable, he says. It's been really stressful, and I haven't been enjoying it, he says. And maybe I've been too self-involved to notice. Concentrating on my [physical] discomfort, focusing on how this training was affecting me, telling myself that it would improve by the end of next month. But would it? I'm not sure anymore. Though I 99% believe that if B chose to follow through with the training, he'd be a more than capable manager, it's just not a risk we can take with a second baby on the way. And I can't trust these people to realize that.

As far as the money goes, it will probably be fine. Potentially, he can make a lot more as a banker than he can as a branch manager. It's true. It's less consistent, but with the knowledge he's gained from this training, he says he knows that he would be an even better banker than he was before, that he knows how to maximize now. But still, it's incredibly disappointing. And sad. I feel so so sad for him. That he's been doing this rigorous program for three months, only to to be told that he's not the right fit. I can't imagine they're right, but what can you do? Argue with people that in the end, will be your bosses? That's not an option, either.

16 Weeks!

Feeling generally well at this point, with very occasional  waves of gagging that do not lead to any actual vomiting, so... hurray! I am definitely getting bigger, though thankfully have not yet gained any actual pounds (which is good, since I was overweight at the point of getting pregnant). I do feel like I am shrinking in the thigh/butt/arm fat region, which I credit to a combination of the first 13 weeks of wanting to eat nothing, and now to the feeling of fullness much sooner, thanks to everything getting smooshed into my belly region.

The belly though, it is growing. I am in maternityy pants full time, and am really starting to push it with the non-maternity yet longer shirts. I have a picture, but it's in the bathroom. So forgive the fact that it is in the bathroom and be thankful that my full form is blocking the view of the toilet. Sometimes, like in the below picture, immediately after lunch it is like... BAM PREGNANT. And sometimes, it's like... BAM, TOO MUCH ICE CREAM.

Just this morning, as I was getting myself ready (blissfully alone!), I noticed that I am starting to grow a beard. It's more like very fine, blond sideburns that are extending into the mutton chop region, but it's there, and I definitely didn't have that before. It's not terribly surprising or upsetting, since I am the proud waxer of a shestache but it is pretty unfortunate. I am hoping this isn't something that sticks around after giving birth. 

Also, earlier this week my nails started falling apart, which was somewhat alarming since my nails were so strong and long during my first trimester. I also had a big chunk of hair fall out in after the shower this weekend, which of course, made me absolutely convinced that my baby had died for about 12 hours, until I felt some movement again. Well, I guess I still don't have 100% confirmation that I am in fact a crazy pregnant lady, since its very possible I've been feeling gas or digestion for the past couple of weeks. I'm not REALLY worried though, I haven't had any other symptoms but I am glad to have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to confirm my craziness.

We are making absolutely no progress on the name front.Well, I'm lying. We actually have had a girl name since long before getting pregnant for a second time, but we have no standouts for boys. My initial instinct of George for a boy is fading, since I haven't had any more dreams. B and I went in to our first anatomy ultrasound with 3 girl names and 3 boy names, and had settled on Mia's name about 3 hours after finding out she was a girl. I don't think this will be happening the second time around. Not that it HAS to, but you know. One less thing.

One of my best friends had her baby this morning (at a week past due!), and he is so cute and it is definitely getting me a lot more excited to be progressing. December 3rd still seems really far away!

Post doctor's appointment update: Everything is good, heartbeat present, baby rolling around, nails falling apart is a mere quirk. Crazy Pregnant Lady Status Confirmed.