Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Please excuse me for not doing a Whatnot Wednesday today.  I just don't have it in me.  Mainly because my mind is circling 'round the drain and only about one thing:


Yes, my FIL that hates me, belittles me, has even told me that he *knows* I'm going to die at any moment and he *may* choose to grace everyone with his presence at my funeral simply because I'm his grandson's mother.  Of course all of that is only when he's not choosing to just give me the silent treatment like a high school girl.

And why?  Because I'm fat.  He's given other excuses for it, some family members have guesses for ADDITIONAL reasons as well (!), and so we don't really know exactly how many reasons he harbors such disdain for me, but the main reason is because I'm morbidly obese.  (Ugh, I hate that term, but if we want to get realistic about it, that's the medical term.)  And the more I struggle with my weight, the worse he treats me.  And the comment made to me about dying because I'm so fat was unfortunately when I was at least 50 pounds lighter than I am today.  Yes, I don't love myself for having gained that much weight back since I lost 100 in the hospital, but his hatred has also correspondingly skyrocketed!

He splits his time between Las Vegas and his other son's hometown in the Pacific Northwest, and he's returning on Friday for one his three month stints here.  For those of you that are either new to our blog, or could use a refresher on our "relationship" and his horrendous nature, please click the following link to see last September's post, "The Silent Treatment."

Anyway, I'm nauseated, depressed, frustrated, angry, and having a hard time concentrating and focusing.  If it wasn't for being a Mommy I don't know if I'd be getting out of bed.  As it is, I have hard time doing so.  And I get this way every three months for about two weeks right before he returns.  And that intensity (aka crisis mode) will last anywhere from a week to a month once he's here, depending on how bad and nasty he is upon his return.  Then at least a less complex but general anxiety will stick around for the remainder of his three month visit, until he finally leaves again.  But I'll only get to breathe normally again then.  By my calendar that means sometime in May.

What not Wednesday: Frenchie Edition


Well, I have been having some bloggers block recently. I have four different posts started in Word, and I have yet to like or finish any of them. So, I figured I would give whatnot wednesdays my first shot. [it is wednesday, right?]

  • Happy Leap Day! I think it's supposed to bring you luck, right? So I'm sending out two job applications today. One back in Chicago, which would be awesome, and one in the UK which I am qualified for according to the job description, but I mostly sent in my application for the LOLs. The job in Chicago's job description fit me to a T, and writing about it makes me nervous because I feel like I'm going to jinx it, but I figure leap day will counteract jinxes. And, I haven't written about any other job that I've applied to and that hasn't made any difference, so... who cares?
  • It's T-8 days until my long LA weekend. I've mentioned this trip before, but it's for one of my high school BFFs - we were a very tight group of five and all five of us are making the trip out to California. I have been friends with her since we were 14 years old, and I'm so excited to celebrate with her next weekend, and in May at her wedding. We're staying at a condo on Venice Beach and going to some wine tastings in Malibu. And, the kicker is that this will be my first time away from my family since we became three. I spent one night away from Mia-boo when we went to Paris, but this time, she'll be spending the weekend with her Papa. B is pretty nervous and I can only imagine his terrified face when I drive off into the sunrise on Friday morning, but everything will go well, of course. As for me, we'll see how I handle myself being away from my little munchkin, with whom I manage to spend 24 hours a day with since my Mom went back to China.
  • I'm thinking about covering up a tattoo that I got of a little chili pepper on my shoulder blade when I was 18. I have no idea why I went with a chili pepper, but I liked it at the time and throughout college. Now, ten years later, it's faded and no longer cute. I've been thinking about getting Mia's initials (MJC) in a scrolly-monogrammy letters to cover it up.  I hesitate for a couple of reasons. 1) B doesn't like tattos. I have two, and I don't think that covering one up counts as a third, so he should be fine with it. 2) If I have another baby at somepoint down the line, I'll kind of have to get that one's initials tattoed, right? And I don't particularly want another tattoo. I just want to replace this one that I no longer like.
  • I've been knitting. A lot. In the past month, I've made a cable sweater (I finished the one I had initially written about a while ago), and two little blouses for Mia. Right now, I'm making another little summer top out of a beautiful cotton yarn. I think about making clothes for other people's children too, but I don't know that they would like that. Would you like it if someone gave you some handmade clothing for your child? Below is one of the blouses, that looks more like a vest, and the other is a close up of the stich I am currently working on.

  •  We've made some progress on the whole sleeping front. We've continued the Ferber method to put her to sleep, but if she wakes up in the middle of the night, we've taken to sitting in her room and singing to her until she falls asleep. We used to pick her up and just plop her down in our bed. Lazy parenting = bad sleep habits. Last night, she actually slept from 8:30pm - 7:00am. It was amazing, and I work up at 6:30 wondering what the eff happened to me. Nothing, apparently.
  • B and I have been watching Mad Men. We had initially tried the first season last year, when we first arrived in Las Vegas. When we moved here, we had a terrible experience with our movers, and our stuff didn't get to our apartment until we had already been there five days. We went to Target and bought the first season of Mad Men on DVD to watch and pass the time. We both disliked it. A lot. We picked it up again on Netflix, and whether it had something to do with the circumstances, or the first season just wasn't that good, we like it now. A lot. We're just starting season three, and hopefully we'll be able to catch up.
  • In addition to the knitting, B and I have turned very domestic as of late. It's a good thing, really. We've been keeping up with the dishes, the cooking, the laundry, and everything else. This may not seem like much to all of you put together people out there, but this is a big accomplishment for us.
  • Lastly, I'm giving the whole low-carb thing another go. After a memorable meal of Five Guys for dinner, I've had an egg and mushroom scramble for breakfast and a shrimp salad for lunch. I'm heading to the grocery store on the way home and making a turkey chili. Yums.
  • And also, this:

 Need to clear your head? Write your own Whatnot Wednesday post and link up below so that we can all see the randomness that fell out when you rinsed your brain.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Guilty Pleasure: Downton Abbey

Actually, I don’t feel guilty about liking this show at all. It’s awesome and critically acclaimed. It is British.
I had no idea this show existed until this year’s Golden Globes, when it won about a bazillion awards, and I searched in vain for it on my DVR schedule. My Netflix queue, realizing that I am always watching period British things, suggested it and even told me I could watch it instantly. Oh Netflix, you know me so well. So, I dutifully went through all the first season in about three weeks time, and absolutely loved it. If you haven’t seen it, get on Netflix and request the DVD, or watch it on streaming if you’ve got it. You will not be sorry.
The first season is set in pre-WWI England, and the storyline documents the lives of the residents of Downton Abbey, a grand home owned by the Earl of Grantham. As all other great houses in England at the time, there is a big staff of servants, from the Butler at the top of the hierarchy, to the kitchen maid. The Earl has an American wife, a “dowager” mother, and three daughters. On the first episode, you learn that his cousin and heir has died in the Titanic, and they are left to search for the next living male relative to inherit the title and the house. Downstairs, a new valet (pronounce the T) comes to Downton to serve the Earl, and stirs things up. From there, you’ll have to watch to get the rest of the scoop!
The story is poignant and beautiful, from love to intrigue to ambition and even some nice snarky British humor (is there any better humor??). Maggie Smith is wonderful as the Dowager.
As my Mom and I watched all of season 1 and caught up with what I missed of season 2 on the PBS website and tuned into the Bachelor the following Monday, we remarked how funny it was that the shows we were both most into at the moment were on opposite ends of the spectrum from each other. Anyway, last night was the conclusion of season 2, and I cried at least 4 times during the episode, and then once at the end when I realized that it would be months, if not nearly a year before season three returns to PBS. Watch it, you’ll be glad you did.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

9 months

Mia turns 9 months on Saturday. This is totally crazy to me. My helpless little newborn has turned into this crawling, adventurous, sweet and playful little person for whom I am starting to plan a first birthday. I am hoping that the weather is warm enough by then for us to have a little shindig by our apartment’s pool (or, even better, at boss’ pool). Something simple with cake, ice cream, hot dogs and burgers.

Mia’s 9 month well visit is next Monday, so I don’t have any height/weight stats just yet, but I have a feeling we are going to be holding pretty steady at the 25th percentile mark. Miss Mia is still petite, still fitting into many of her 6 month onesies, but definitely needing the 6-9 month pants or her shins show. She has also outgrown all of her 6 month sleepers, but still fits perfectly in 9 month and the old navy 6-12 month sizes. She is not yet close to outgrowing anything in a 6-9 month size, so we’re starting to stock up on only summer 12 month clothes.
She has been crawling quickly and swiftly for about three weeks. She’s been pulling up on the side of her crib and the coffee table and my leg and door frames and just about everything else she can hang on to for over a month now. She’s starting to “cruise” along furniture, but mostly, she just stands and bounces. She vocalizes “Mamama” and “Papapa” and B and I pretend she’s talking about us, but I’m pretty sure we’re deluding ourselves.

She still has zero teeth, but I’ve started feeding her bits of soft fruits and vegetables, which she picks up readily between her fingers and attempts to put into her mouth. I haven’t tried Cheerios or anything harder since she doesn’t have anything to chew it with, but I guess that’s a question for the pediatrician next week.
At nine months, our biggest challenge is, by far, sleeping. She screams as soon as she is put down. We’ve tried letting her fall asleep in our arms, and then putting her down, but she’ll wake up as soon as her back hits the mattress. This goes for both naps and night time.  We’ve tried putting her down when she’s just about to fall asleep, but same deal. For the past 4 days, I’ve resorted to ferberizing her and letting her scream for up to 10 minutes to see if she’ll self-soothe. It worked the first couple of times, actually. She screamed for exactly 9 minutes and then fell asleep, and the following nap it was down to 3 minutes, and night time about 5. But the second day, it was as if she knew what was coming, and screamed for over 10 minutes, so one of us would come in for a snuggle. We kept trying until she cried for less than 10 minutes and finally fell asleep. I’m about ready to give up on this whole “cry it out” method and move on to the Barnes and Noble baby section. With rare exceptions, naps no longer last more than 20 minues. Perhaps this is the 8 month sleep regression, but I think it mostly has to do with her being so much more mobile than ever before, so that as soon as she stirs, she pulls herself right up on the side of the crib and wants! to! have! fun! Let’s not even talk about sleeping through the night, because we’re not even close on that front.

As for me, 9 months later, I’m still 14 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight. But, I feel better. I’ve been consistently working out every other day since my mom left about three weeks ago. My eating isn’t quite as disciplined as I would like, but, one thing at a time. My goal had been to lose my 14 lbs by the time my friend’s bachelorette party in LA rolled around, but now that it’s 3 weeks away, I’m thinking that’s not going to happen. It’s going to suck to be the only person there who has been through pregnancy and child birth.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Whatnot Wednesday #2


Not much to talk about today, but I promised a "Whatnot Wednesday," so I'll take a deep breath and see what comes out...

  • Tybalt is sick.  Sick babies/toddlers suck.  Period.  He HATES having his nose wiped, with a passion.  And right now he needs it wiped about every 10 minutes.  On top of that, he has an eye infection and needs eye drops.  1 drop in each eye, 4 times a day.  The first day he had no clue what he was in for, and so because of that it was actually much easier than I expected.  Since then?  For crying out loud!  The kid squeezes his eyes shut so hard that when I try to pry his lids open they flip inside out.  It's gross, makes me feel mean, frustrates me, etc., all at once.  And can I ask, why are Moms the ones just EXPECTED to give the medicine?  For all of Romeo's good qualities, on this one he doesn't even offer or try.  Tybalt's been sick more than once and every single time I'm the "pharmacy."
  • I'm still sick.  Ugh.  Taking my meds, so shouldn't be contagious anymore, but still don't feel well.
  • I'm reading a "new" book right now.  I wish I could just curl up in bed, start reading, and not stop until it's done.  It's the first in a series that Romeo and his roommate discovered in college--this one is called "Big Secrets" by William Poundstone.  There is also "Bigger Secrets" and "Biggest Secrets."  It's really interesting; all about trade secrets.  Like the first section of chapters is on highly classified recipes such as KFC, Coca-cola, etc.  Now I'm in the "Money" section that reveals how money is pressed, what secret messages are printed on it, and such.  There are upcoming sections on popular magic tricks, hidden messages in music (i.e. records due to when the book was written) and other neat things.  The book was written in 1983 which also provides some chuckles because not all the products are still available, or like I can't compare the U.S. currency as it describes it because there have been quite a few revisions since then.  But it's still a very good read.
  • I do believe I'm addicted to Macaroni and Cheese.  Specifically Kraft.  I hate myself for it, because it's steering me WAY off my diet, but in the last few weeks I've had it at least once a week, and the last 3 days I've had it every day.  Do I get a pass because I'm sick and/or dealing with a fussy sick kid?  I hope... but I doubt.
  • Side note--the best version of Kraft Mac'n'Cheese hands down is any of the "shape" versions, like Disney Cars or Sponge Bob Square Pants.  I don't care which shape version I buy, but the shapes both sauce and noodle consistency is much better than the plain old stuff.  Runner up is "spirals."  No matter what, Kraft is the best.  Only in a pinch will I do store brand, I have learned during this kick.  I bought it once a couple weeks ago for the price difference--not worth it.  Now mind you, this is just comparing the box make-at-home stuff.  Country Crock pre-made tubs in the refrigerated section are in a different class all to themselves (though I still think Kraft "shapes" win with an ever so slight margin, but it's like comparing apples to oranges) and of course I'm not even going to get into restaurant Macaroni and Cheese.  Any food that I don't have to make myself probably wins no matter what, simply for that fact, lol.
Sigh, it's time to be done when I'm assessing carbs so strictly.

"See" ya later.

Ah, what a refreshing feeling!  My brain has been cleaned out a bit!  Interested in participating in "Whatnot Wednesdays" yourself?  Follow the hyperlink button at the top of this entry to link to E at her blog "Every Day The Wonderful Happens," and find out more!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Four day work weeks

Well, it's happened. I've gotten my hours reduced to four days a week. It was very unceremonious, actually. I was on the phone, and our Clinical Director called and left a message letting me know, and that my off day couldn't be friday, since I was already the only one coming to the office then, and someone needed to be around. I'm going to try for Mondays, so I can still have three consecutive days, but I guess the Clinical Director wants me to take Thursdays.

Luckily, I already had my freak out about something similar to this last week, so now, I'm trying not to be sad and be practical. I'll call one of my student loan companies to ask for a deferment, which should make up about half my pay cut, and make other budgetary cuts to make up the difference. It looks like moving is now 100% out of the question, so we'll embrace it by making our current apartment more liveable. I'll take a page out of Attorney At Large's book , and we'll get rid of some impractical furniture, de-clutter and open up our living space. If we have to stay in our not great apartment, we might as well make the best of it. Spring and summer are coming, and at least we've got a  pool we can enjoy soon without spending any money (except on sunblock!).

It turned out that Mia's Mommy-Only weekend turned out to be Roseola. She had a fever at work on Monday, and it spiked overnight to about 103. First-time mommy that I am, I was at the pediatrician at 8:45, 15 minutes after they opened. They had no answers for me except that she had a fever since she had no other symptoms, and if it persisted for 3 more days, to come back. On the 3rd day, exactly as the Roseola article said, she broke out in her Roseola rash, and her fever totally went away. We had a nightmare couple of days, but I was relieved to see those red spots. They were a bit disconcerting, but she was perfectly happy as soon a they broke out. Since I was the only one in the office still working full time, I am hoping the fact that last week was only a two day work week for me didn't have anything to do with the decision.


and after.

I may not be freaking out, but that didn't stop me from combing through the new job listings on my school's website, and I've got four applications to prepare on my "day off". At least the Bachelor's on tonight!!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Illness Spreading Like Wildfire

I know I've been an absentee blogger.  Unfortunately I've been horribly sick with migraines last week and now this week both the stomach flu (103.1 fever--yay!  Not.) and a respiratory infection.  I broke down and went to the doc yesterday who diagnosed me.  She says the "colds" I've had off and on for a couple months have led to stuff staying in my head and chest and getting yucky and infected.  And apparently the migraines were a symptom too.  And now Tybalt is sick as well.  Hoping it's not the same thing, but I worry it is and we'll have to take him for antibiotics and such of his own, just like Mommy.  So, we'll see what happens and once everyone in my house is in the clear, I should be back up and running here.  At the very least, I promise another one of those fun "Whatnot Wednesdays" soon.  In the meantime, please excuse my absence.  I don't know how other "mommy bloggers" never skip more than a day or two.  I mean, between the kids themselves, occasional household bouts of illness, after-school activities, errands, and sometimes just needing to hide alone with a good book or take a nap--what's a mom to do?  Sigh, anyway, guess I'm just not one of them.  Sometimes it's too much for me.  In the mean time, Happy Early Valentine's Day, everyone!  (Romeo and I will be celebrating twice.  A small date on Tuesday due to "budgetary constraints" and a nice night out the following Saturday where we'll not have to look at the prices on the menu, we'll exchange gifts finally, and be able to order a cocktail or two.  I'm actually not too disappointed that the actual February 14th will be small and have no gift exchange--I mean who else gets to say they had 2 V-days?  Okay, admittedly, maybe I am a touch disappointed and am just trying to talk myself out of it.  But so far so good.........................................................................kinda?)

In the interim, some cute pictures of my kid, because, well, just cuz I feel like it, I guess, lol.

What A Difference A Year Makes--Our Christmas Card 2010--Tybalt is between 3 and 4 months old here.

Christmas 2011.  Trucks and extra railroad pieces from Santa!  16 months old.

1. Take your hand.  2. Hold over me in this picture.  3. Proceed to enjoy looking at my adorable son as he reads. 

Bedtime Story With Mommy.  15 months.

Tybalt Outside Church, He Was Being A Little Loud Inside.  15 months.

Playing Piano with Daddy. Please God, I hope he really does play piano, or some instrument like Daddy.

16 months

16 months.  Blurry, but I love the tongue out.

Daddy and Tybalt Outside the Lion Exhibit at MGM Grand Hotel and Casino.  16 months.

"Hey, Mommy, Nice Camera!" 17 months.

"Cheese!"  17 months.

Intrigued By His Reflection In His Mirrored Closet Door

Bedtime Ritual--Brushing Teeth With Daddy.  17 months.

For the record, we did finally get his hair cut a few weeks ago, even though it was probably anywhere from 3-7 months late.  Mommy had a hard time with the first haircut.  It was even harder than I thought it would be.  But I couldn't handle him being mistaken for a girl anymore, plus on his really bad hair days I felt like a horrible mom for not having done it yet.  Actually, the above few 17 month pictures are from the night before the big cut so we could also document how long his locks had gotten.  Anyway, I've coincidentally saved that story (and photos with his cute short hair since then) for a future post.  So, you'll just have to enjoy his curls (and in some cases unruly "mop") in these pictures for now, and wait patiently for more!  :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tell me about yourself award.

Although slightly delayed, here are my seven things for the Tell Me about Yourself Award! Thank you to E at Every day the Wonderful Happens for sharing it with us.
1. As an adult, I have had trouble making friends. In high school, I had a very close, very steady group of four friends. The five of us did everything teenage together, and starting sophomore year of high school, spent basically every weekend and summer together. We were not "cool" in high school, so our teenage things consisted mostly of renting movies from blockbuster, and having sleep overs. I had an awesome time and I love all four of those girls. All four were involved in my wedding in some way or another, and we still make a point of seeing each other every year, despite being scattered across the country. In college, I somehow stumbled on the same thing, but with three girls rather than four. We did everything college related together, pledged a sorority together, and shared an apartment our senior year. One was my maid of honor, and the two others were ushers. In law school, I had friends, but mostly just hung out with B, since, you know, we like, loved each other and all that. Ever since it seems difficult to get to that level of friendship with anyone. My teenage self would have envisioned falling into a "Friends" or "How I Met Your Mother" group, but of course, those are TV shows and might not exist in real life. There are people I like to hang out with, and go out to dinner with, but I've accepted that I am not someone who can make those types of friends, friends that feel like family, now that I'm technically a grown up.

2. Speaking of B, I almost messed everything up when we first started dating. There was a pretty short lag time between when B professed his undying love for me (not really, but you know, he asked if I was his "girlfriend") and when I was dumped by my college boyfriend. After I had gone out with B a few times, my ex-boyfriend decided he had made a huge mistake and wanted to get back together. I almost agreed. But in the end, I declined and told B that yes, I was his girlfriend.

3. If (and when) B and I decide to have another baby, I secretly want another girl. B wants a boy, and of course, that would be so great, in theory. You get one of each, and you're done. But... I love having a girl. She's so cute and pretty and she has the best clothes and toys. When I got pregnant, and before, I wanted boys. All boys. Nothing frilly, no pink, just trucks and polo shirts. Now, if we do make another one (and we will try to, eventually, I talk a big game about just having one), I will secretly hope for a girl.

4. Until I started knitting, I was a real hobby-whore. It started when I was a kid. I took all sorts of classes, from voice lessons, to beading and aikido. My Mom always joked that I was trying to find myself. I just thought that everyone got to be great at one thing, and I was just looking for mine. I'm not awesome at knitting, but I sure do love it.

5. Speaking of knitting, my Mom and I are seriously thinking about opening up a yarn store when my parents retire and choose to come back to the U.S. During my down time, I've promised to look into putting together a preliminary business plan and finding yarn shows to price out wholesale yarn. Most yarn shops that I've been to are pretty stuffy and unwelcoming, plus they're so old fashioned and dark. Knitting is getting really popular with younger people, and I think yarn stores should reflect that. We'll see how things turn out.

6. I am prone to the occasional panic attack. Full blown, I can't breathe panic attacks. In fact, I had one last night, as I was trying to sleep. Halfway asleep, I woke up gasping for air and generally scaring the crap out of my nyquil-ed up husband. Usually, I tell myself that nothing I am currently worried about is real. What is real is the presence of my husband next to me, and my child in the next room, who is currently breathing, fed and happy. Nothing else matters.

7. I'm really grasping here, but my 7th and final thing is that I hate wearing socks. I feel constrained in them. If I have to wear socks, I do, but it feels like my toes can't breathe. The only way I can explain it is that it is some form of claustrophobia. I like living in Las Vegas because the weather rarely dips low enough to require me to wear them. I wear closed toe shoes, like loafters, without socks. This might be the same reason I can't let my nails (of the finger or toe variety) grow, because it feels like the skin beneath the growth cannot breathe!

Although I let Juliet Cap do the dirty work of tagging, I'll add Meredith at Lawyerish since I love her and she likes to do these memes!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Tidbits of why things are better.

I got paid about two hours after I published that last post. Granted, it was only one paycheck, but my boss promises the second one to come by the end of this week. So, that helps.

B and I discussed moving, and we will look at what is out there. If we find something we absolutely love, we'll move. If not, we'll stay put. If I may say so myself, is a rational compromise.

Mia is going through a Mommy-only phase at the moment. All weekend, she's wanted nothing to do with B, and basically cries if I put her down, or put her in B's lap. So that's been fun. Especially since she's back at the office as of this morning.

B was off on saturday - a rare occurrence - and we had a great relaxing weekend. Desperately needed errands and cleaning on saturday, and homemade pizzas for the superbowl on sunday. Both days, we were both there to hang out with our super fun crawling and pulling up baby. The only real not so fun part was the clingy baby who is no longer used to sleeping in her crib or in her own room (as opposed to the pack n play in our room while Mom was in town).

I've gotten zero responses from the 10+ job applications that I put out there. How is it possible that after 2 years of working, I still don't qualify for any nice, well paying jobs? I'm sure many of the MILPs have frustrations about that. So, that's not a better, but you know.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

From not great to bad.

I've been blog absent for a little while, but I wanted to do a quick check in. I fully intended to log in today and do my own 7 things post, but I'm finding that I can't bring myself to write lightheartedly.

I've mentioned before that things haven't been great at work. For the past year or so, I often get paid late, because the company was stretched out pretty thin, financially. Now, the mood at work is pretty bad. I haven't been paid for a month. A full thirty days. Part of me wishes they would just lay me off, so that at least, I could file for unemployment. But my boss keeps telling me that things will turn around, that we'll get paid as soon as possible. I believe that he'll pay us as soon as there's money in the bank, but when will that be? And will it be enough to give me the two paychecks that I'm owed (not to mention the 3rd that will be due to me on February 10th)? I doubt it. If they can't catch up on my paychecks, we can't move out of our apartment. I really wanted to move. We've outgrown our apartment, and Mia is crawling all over our impossible to clean carpets.

Normally, a company so behind on payroll would just... shut it doors, wouldn't it? It's hard to come to work in the mornings, but I do it, because I keep hoping to be handed a paycheck. Plus, I'm trying to do my part in collecting some of our receivables, figuring out who we can layoff and still function. But a month without pay? It feels terrible personally, but also, how can an employee (such as myself, or the many others who haven't been paid in 2 weeks) have any faith that this will turn around?

I've been actively applying for jobs. Basically, I spent part of my day writing collection letters and threatening lawsuits, knowing that we can't pay the retainer for our new (cheaper) collection attorney, so we can't even follow through with my threats. The rest of the day, I'm looking at my law school's career services website, applying for anything that I might remotely qualify for back in Chicago. It feels like even if I got a call back, they would just cast my application to the side since I won't be available for an in-person interview, unless I shell out the money (that I do not have) for a plane ticket.

This morning, I applied to three immigration jobs, one in Washington, DC, and two in California. Let's remember that I am not licensed in either of these states, but since Immigration is Federal, I'm hoping they'll still consider me.

Today, my Mom goes back to China. It's sad because I like having her around, but also scary, because at least while she's around, the kid inside me feels like everything's going to be alright. Tonight, I'll be on my own again, forced to be an adult and buy my own groceries.

Things work out. They always do. B and I were unemployed for 9 months, and we survived. Granted, we didn't have a baby and we didn't have landlord, but we still managed. We'll go into deferrement, we'll give up our second car, we'll file bankruptcy if I stay unemployed long enough. If it does happen, at least B has a steady and reliable income. And, we are a lot more steady and mature than we used to be.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Tell Me About Yourself Award

The above is an award currently circulating among bloggers, and it was recently granted to us here at "Mommy and the Sin City" by our "bliend" (blogging friend?  anyone?  no?  well, I tried, lol) "E" at "Every Day The Wonderful Happens."  I recently wrote about her, but if you missed it, she is a blogger who writes about her two pre-school aged sons, pets, faith, husband, and everyday life.  I was led to her blog a couple of months ago while perusing adoption blogs and she is one of the most entertaining, and honest(!), writers I have found when it comes to blogging about their experiences with adoption.  (One son is biological and one is adopted.)

The rules of the award are as follows:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. List seven things people may not know about you.
3. Pass it on to 15 (or so) other bloggers.

So, I'm actually going to "pass" it next (just in case I lose anyone during my 7 personal tidbits and you don't read until the end).  Frenchie and I put our heads together and wanted to pass this award to those fellow bloggers that we thought would appreciate it most and want most to get in on the fun so we don't have 15 names, but still, we are passing it to: "The Lawyering BeeBeeZfa", Cristy @ "Happily a Law Mama"/"Is There a Doctor in the House?" (She has recently changed blog titles.), and "But I Do Have a Law Degree."

Now, finally, for my personal tidbits:
1. I greatly appreciate Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Junior.  Admittedly, Donald Duck's and Goofy's voices are like nails on a chalk board to me. And the repetitive songs and sayings, "Everybody say, 'Oh, Toodles!" while I know are exactly the point of the show and what gain the interaction of children in homes everywhere, can be irritating as well.  But man, how it shuts up my kid!  Okay, let me put that in more sensitive terms: Tybalt loves the show and whenever it comes on his attention goes straight to it, so it has saved me and my sanity more than once.

2. I have a secret paralyzing fear of potty training my son.  In all honesty, it was the main reason I was scared when I found out it was boy.  Boys and their "little bits" make me uncomfortable.  I can't explain it, because I know it's natural and nature and all that stuff, but I really think I'm going to squirm and giggle uncomfortably when the time comes to "teach" him.  Plus, who am I to "teach" him, when I know nothing about how a man uses the bathroom?

3. Sometimes, I still cuddle with and talk to stuffed animals like a child does.  Okay, there, I admit it.  I have had the same beloved teddy bear since I was born, a blue and white little guy named Bruno.  And I have others.  Quite a few.  Though those have all gone into Tybalt's room at this point and are considered his.  But Bruno is tucked away in my closet, comes out when I'm having the worst of days and really need him, and will never go to Tybalt.  Sorry, son.

4. I got mad at Romeo the first year we were together when he gave me chocolates for Christmas.  Two years ago when I wanted nothing but Godiva chocolate for Valentine's Day, it really threw him for a loop.  I tried to explain it: a) I didn't like the chocolate when we were "new" to each other and I felt that you got it because you just couldn't think of anything else, and that made me also feel like you looked at your plus-sized girlfriend and thought, "Well, she probably would like something to eat." Now I'm  your wife (and I was pregnant at the time), and I'm okay admitting when I do want some junk food. b) Come on, Godiva is Godiva!  Let's face it, he got me the cheap stuff before.  Lol.

5. Probably as little as 5 or 6 years ago I had never even tried sweet potatoes.  Now, I really like them!  Especially sweet potato fries.  Yum.  Same with sushi--my first experience with that was probably only 3 years ago.  And, well, okay, Frenchie can attest that my kind of sushi is basically maki rolls and only cooked items, but still...I consider that being more open-minded than when I had never even wanted to try a California roll!  And last week I did try [raw] yellowtail nigiri (Hamachi?).  So yes, I say points for me! Whatever you consider it, my tastes have definitely broadened since high school and college, that's for sure.

6. Speaking of food, I have a super power that I have never heard of anyone else having: I can distinctly smell lettuce.  I don't like lettuce.  Yes, I know it's practically tasteless, but it's the texture I don't like, same with cabbage, grape leaves, etc.  Anyway, when I order a burger or taco from a fast food joint, I order them without lettuce.  As soon as the bag is in my car, I can immediately smell if the restaurant screwed up my order and included the lettuce.  It's a sweet, grassy sort of smell.  And I've never heard of anyone else that can smell it, but I definitely can.

7.  My thumbs bend backwards.  I can bend them about 90 degrees back if I press on them, but even naturally, if I just give someone a "thumbs up" or the "hitchhiker's sign," both of my thumbs automatically bend about 45 degrees backwards.  I didn't realize it or know it was strange until I was in junior high or so and a friend at church asked me where someone or something was and I gestured with my thumb.  I remember her doing a double take and crossing the room quickly to ask me to do it again, and showing me it wasn't normal by showing me her thumbs and how they only go straight up.  Then she went up and down the hallway looking for people to show my thumbs to and get an opinion from. I forgot about it for years though, until Romeo got freaked out by it upon his first time seeing.  It still freaks him out to this day.  We've been trying to see if there's any chance Tybalt picked up this strange genetic party trick from me.  Can't tell yet, but sometimes I swear I see his thumbs flex backwards!  :)

Well, there you have it!