Mia turns 4 months old on Sunday, the 25th. Now that I've stopped breastfeeding (more on that in an upcoming post), it's appropriate (and necessary) for me to start paying attention to the number on the scale. 9 months, plus 4 months is a long enough vacation from paying attention to what I eat. So, right now, I'm +12 lbs from the weight I was the day I got pregnant. That weight was nothing to be proud of, a result of post-wedding slacking off. An acceptable weight, for my body's standards is the weight I was at my wedding, which I am at +21 lbs. That weight will let me fit (and look nice) in all of the clothes that I present own, including my favorite $160+ jeans of which I have numerous paris, bought pre-wedding and pre-2 law school tuition's worth of student loans. So, I need to get back down to an acceptable weight before the Las Vegas weather cools off, and I would want to wear said jeans. Plus, my cold-weather work wardrobe, which is extensive, coming from Chicago.
For now, I am making due with a minimal wardrobe that fits. I bought 2 pairs of capri pants from the Ann Taylor outlet store in a size 14 to get me through the summer. I also have a few dresses that are loose enough around the belly. But soon enough, I'll have to put away the summer dresses and bring out the wool slacks and long sleeved shirts. So, for practical reasons (and about a million others, like feeling good and being healthy) I can't stay in this post pregnant pudgy phase.
I've always had a bit more weight on my body than others. I was a size 10 in High school, and gradually crept up to a 12 somewhere between then and getting married. I'm OK with that. I'm happy with the way I look at a comfortable 12. You know what I mean by comfortable: clothes button and zip with ease. A comfortable 12 is about 31 lbs away from where I am right now. So let's round it up to a 35 lb goal. I'm not looking for a bikini body - with these stretchmarks, bikinis are not in my future. Just looking nice, being able to wear a bathings uit without constantly feeling the need to cover up. That's the goal: comfort, relative confidence.
I've been working up to this for a while. Dieting, that is. I've never been able to lose weight by just "watching what I eat", or "eating in moderation". I am apparently incapable of doing that, unless I impose strict guidelines on what I can and cannot eat. Limiting quantities is not great for me. The summer between my Junior and Senior year of college, I did the South Beach Diet one week after my 21st birthday. I lost a kind of unbelievable amount of weight, getting to under 10lbs of my freshman year of high school weight. It was amazing, and I looked great. But the factors that made it possible back then (getting seriously dumped at the end of Junior year, having free total access to a full-service gym, a cafeteria with endless salad combinations every day, a SBD buddy, and you know, being 21). From September until December, I was actually a size 8. Then, I started dating a guy, a BIG guy, and it became impossible to keep up with low-carb restrictions when he was ordering pizza for dinner every night. But those days are long gone. Now, I can accept and be happy with my goal. Comfortable 12. The diet itself is really very restrictive, but I followed it religiously back then, so I feel like I have the control to do it again.
I had some success a few years later during law school with Weight Watchers. I didn't follow their traditional points system, since it is based on calculating calories and limiting the amount of food. I didn't do well with that, I like strict guidelines. They had another option called the Core Plan, which I did follow and did well on. I got down to the goal I have for myself now, but I had a less to lose to get there. I haven't 100% decided on which one of those two I will follow, but I'm leaning towards South Beach.
I had initially given myself a start date of October 1st. But, somehow from the time I decided to diet and now, I've managed to gain weight. Two weeks ago, I was only at +10 pre-pregnancy. So, yeah, I think I subconciously started gorging myself, knowing that I will soon have to stop eating my favorite combination of vanilla ice cream and crushed up Reese's cups. Something that started during pregnancy, and somehow I haven't given up yet...
So, that is my diet tale. I start Monday. I will update periodically on my progress, although I promise not to get obnoxious and make lists of what I've eaten every day.