Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Facebook Moms

Facebook, with all of its faults and criticisms, is a great source of entertainment. Generally, when I share something on Facebook, I think about it first. Something fun, exciting, Mia in her "better moments", etc. I think that most people think about their audience before they post something. The majority of us share cute pictures, funny stories, milestones. All of that is perfectly acceptable Facebook Mom behavior. Of course, you only share what you want to share. This will often create a certain kind of persona -- but some honesty will have no choice but to creep in. In my Facebook feed in particular, I have very specific personas who stand out above the rest.

1. The Stay at Home Mom who Overshares Parenting Tips:  She is a constant sharer. Articles on car seat safety, sales on items she likes at Zulily, Groupon deals for kid-centric activities, articles on potty training philosophies, pictures of her homemade baby food. It is constant. It is daily. But! She is also the Mom I messaged when looking for a new carseat - what did she find she liked best??

2. The First time Pregnant friend who has been trying to have a baby forever. I'm thrilled they finally got pregnant. Really, I'm very happy for her. But, her former Facebook persona as someone who shares inspirational quotes (via so and so fertility center) about overcoming hardships has turned into the weekly belly picture update, progress on the nursery, babymoon pictures, and of course, the countdown to her due date. She's incredibly excited, and probably doesn't think about much else. Of course, she should be, but I hope she doesn't turn into #4.

3. Smug New Mom. She posts asking for cloth diaper suggestions. She posts pictures of her and her husband in the swimming pool for their 5 month old daughter's swimming class. She posts about how great her nanny is. She asks for advice on pumping at work, and about her new gluten free/wheat free/dairy free/nut free/food free diet because of her daughter's allergies. She posts asking for opinions between the Acura and the Audi SUV. She posts photos of her baby-led weaning. And of course, the constant photo caption: So in love with my little one! I certainly hope so, lady. She and #1 Oversharing Mom would get along great, but they would never listen to each other's advice.

4. New Mom who is having a hard time. She's the opposite of Smug New Mom. She posts photos of her child (often cuter than Smug New Mom's child), captioned: "It's a good thing she's cute, because I haven't slept in 5 months". She posts apologies to her own Mom for the pain she inflicted on her 30 years ago. She posts about how she's looking forward to having an outpatient procedure done just for the recuperating time she gets. This Mom makes my heart hurt, because you can just feel how hard of a time she's having. You try to comment on her photos, remind her that she's doing a good job, and that this difficult time will pass. But, when it's confined to Facebook, it's often the best you can do.

5. The Only Posts Bad News Mom. Things seem to always be going wrong in that household, but it can't be all bad, all the time. She posts that her new baby is so sick! Going to the ER! And then... nothing. Did you move into the ER and stay forever? No, you have to send a message to find out the follow up. "Oh, it turned out fine. We're home!" Gee, thanks for keeping us all in the loop, lady.

I'm just kidding around here, OK? Don't take me (or yourself) too seriously.

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